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I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year and he has had PTSD, anxiety disorder, dreams disorder for 10 years now. I love him a lot and at the beginning of the relationship I actually neglected many things that he did/said that hurt me, thinking it is simply personality differences and things will be more settled once we get to know each other better. But recently things have got worse. And I feel like I can't take them much longer. We have had a lot of fights and he started to blame me for every thing that happened. He failed to acknowledge his wrong doing and could not take it if being criticized. He doesn't like to argue, but at the same time he gets frustrated very easily, which makes our arguments escalate.
I have never been with someone who has depression, and though I have tried to be supportive and I also read a lot of things about supporting a depressed partner, but still, I know sometimes I am not sensitive enough in handling his mood swinging and frustration.
He refused all kinds of therapies or activities, saying they are not for him and he doesn't believe in them. I have been through many hardships recently, but he gets more depressed than I am, and takes it personally. It always seem to be a race, of who is feeling worse. Because if I tell about my negative feeling, he would tell me how much worse he is feeling. I have always had to put my sadness aside, to cheer him up. I suggested things for him to do. But nothing works. Everything is a no-no to him. He is annoyed with everything and every one. There seems to be nothing that he is happy about. And that has been dragging me down. I have become depressed and lost my patience, too.
I do not know if the depression will go away once we move in together. He says his condition will definitely get better because he will be happy with me. But I am not so sure, if that will ever be enough. And it does seem, with his unhappiness, both of us are not happy now.
Have you had a depressed partner? If so, could you please share your experiences?
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