BPH, Ejaculation and Prostate Massage Therapy

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Wondering if anyone has had established benefit from Prostate Massage Therapy. My husband has BPH of moderate nature and his PSAs are normal. Married 38 years, after a period of inactivity due to very painful hip problems, I finally am back in the saddle again, ready to re-kindle a very active sex life like we're 20 again. However, husband can't hold an erection hard enough for penetration. He has not ejaculated in a year or so, he says. 😉 I am a medical professional but not in the male urological area. I read much about Prostate Massage Therapy. It is not widely talked about. The aim is the express prostate fluid separate from ejaculation fluid - in order to relieve congestion of the prostate, clear out crystals that may be blocking canals, any build up of minerals and other matter. I am developing a method of Prostate Massage Therapy for my man, which will be mutually beneficial. According to Harvard research, this is scientifically proven to be beneficial. Has anyone followed prostate massage therapy protocols and had success in expressing the seminal fluid followed by successful ejaculation this way?

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  • Posted

    I've read, I don't if its true, massaging the prostate can spread infection. I'd be interested in what you find out and how it works. How old is your husband? What makes you think prostate massage will help with erections?

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  • Posted

    Has he tried Viagra or Levitra or Cialis ?

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    • Posted

      Avoiding drugs. They can play havoc with your blood pressure and heart. Trying more natural routes first. He did try viagra in the past for sex on demand with me, so it is successful. However, he has a prostate issue to, so I would like to address both at the same time.

      Thank you for your reply!

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    • Posted

      Viagra was developed for the heart but I preferred Cialis due to its longer window and its help in urinating.

      Many cardiologists take the daily Cialis for its cardiac benefits.

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  • Posted

    I'm told that is a popular service offered by German sex workers.

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  • Posted

    Did the Harvard research include a controlled study?

    I've researched this but found little in the medical literature, mostly anecdotal evidence and sales pitches for male prostate massage devices.

    I discussed prostate massage with a world renown surgeon and cancer researcher. He found no benefit from it, but perhaps a homeopathic doctor might disagree.

    I did try it but it only raised my PSA.

    BPH and meds to treat it will produce both ED and RE

    Have him try sitz baths. I am convinced the process of ejaculation does remove toxins that might accumulate in the prostate.

    For many reasons my wife and I have had a virtually sexless marriage for 12 years. In that time my prostate has probably quadrupled in size and QoL has suffered

    If your husband does benefit from massage please share with us

    Wishing him the best,


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    • Posted


      Having a healthy relationship for all these years has been wonderful. The sex part, even better. Now with age and age-related issues, sex is still a part of our relationships. I think my husband is embarrassed, so I'm going to try the talk to him first and then set the stage for a sensual but clinical approach. I wrote notes on this thread.

      Many men have messaged me saying they have benefitted from it so much (and they are in their 50's and 60's, so I am watching the ages (my husband is 73).

      Clinically, he can attain an erection that feels hard enough to continue, but then loses firmness prior to introduction. Could be performance anxiety too. So I will approach it calmly with him and see if he consents.

      Let's hope!

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    • Posted

      " Clinically, he can attain an erection that feels hard enough to continue, but then loses firmness prior to introduction. Could be performance anxiety too "

      Someone posted a similar problem here or on another Forum.

      His wife encouraged him to seek medical help and he was sent to an NHS clinic. He had a lot of tests and talked his problems through with a therapist. It was suggested that it was because he no longer found his wife attractive that he was losing his erection and They said they could provide him with a surrogate. Furious he stood up and declared ' I love my wife ' and stormed out.

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    • Posted

      You made me laugh. 😄

      We discussed the subject of using a penis pump this evening. I didn't check today's mail yet (boxes arrived), but I told him to bring it upstairs to our bedroom and open it for me. That's a good sign.

      We've had a very active and wonderful love life to accompany a wonderful marriage. Worth a shot!

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    • Posted

      The pump is a better option than poking pills down his penis or needles into it. Though anyone on blood thinners has to be careful of bruising from the band. The NHS used to have an approved pump that it issued but it seems to have gone from the market.

      Have fun!

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    • Posted

      I think it depends on an individual's situation. I already have the artificial sphincter, which compresses the urethra with a small cuff around the urethra, located in the perineum area. I had tried Viagra (generic) and the stuff head and slight sinus pain was a downer, along with the fact the medicine didn't really do the job. I then tried the pump, and found that the compression band (I have a full set of sizes) was not comfortable. I think maybe the five surgeries I needed after the botched Greenlight TURP affected my sensations. Finally, I tried the injection, found that self injecting was something I could handle, and the result was excellent, even at my age.

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    • Posted

      Two other thoughts for you. I went into AF after having my aortic valve replaced.

      The second cardioversion worked and I stayed in NSR for 15 months until I had a colonoscopy that stimulated my vagus nerve. Back in sinus rhythm for over a year until I had a DRE . Again my vagus nerve stimulated and back into AF that is now permanent so consider that factor when contemplating prostate massage.

      I once asked the practice nurse if Amiodarone or Bisoprolol were the most complained about drugs.

      She said no that is Tamsulosin.

      I said, Yes, by men

      She replied No, by their wives.

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    • Posted

      Ahhhh...... Cardiology is my specialty!!! LOL It truly is.

      My husband does have a problem with vagal nerve stimulation. Most men have that problem, believe it or not. Today's session went well, no problems. I am going to coax him into the knee-chest position for better drainage and see how he feels about direct stimulation. He's been turned off in the past about it (we tried a few decades ago and he was not comfortable). I bought anal beads which are water-proof and activated remotely. Once properly positioned, that should be quite beneficial.

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    • Posted


      Yes, tamsulosin (Flomax) is a bear. I believe the incidences of ED and RE are much higher than the literature suggests.

      I'm heavily leaning HoLEP just to get off Flomax for life. Flomax makes you pay a huge price just to be able to pee.


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    • Posted

      Perhaps I should bring my cardiology problems to you 😃

      When it first became a problem I had a terrible time with our local hospital. I sent a letter of complaint to the head of cardiology. He invited me to a meeting and put his hands up to all of my points and said what he was doing to improve things and that in future I would always see him. This was in 2011 and I've only seen him twice since. At my recent appointment I asked the nurse if I was seeing him today. She said No and I said that I have not seen him for six years. Neither have we she responded 😃 He is a professor now and spends time at major London hospitals. He does pop up a lot on the local News demonstrating new procedures.

      Not just men with vagal problems. I had a conversation with the ward sister when having my pacemaker fitted. She said that female patients often have a problem after getting up in the night to go to toilet and stagger out.

      My pacemaker experience!!

      In March 2015 in AF for the third time after two previous

      cardioversions and with a seven day ECG monitor also diagnosing tachy

      bradycardia with 3 second pauses in my heart rate I was told at the end of May

      (2015) that I needed a dual chamber pacemaker as a matter of some urgency. I

      had asked the cardiology secretary and also the nurse and doctor at the pre

      assessment if I would get an MRI compatible one as I have recently had two MRI

      scans and probably need a third one. They said that that was up to the doctor

      doing the procedure.

      I arrived at the hospital at 8am on Friday (July 5th

      2015) rather apprehensive about the procedure although viewing ones on YouTube

      it seemed a very straightforward procedure. The letter had said no food after

      midnight but that you could drink unlimited black tea, coffee, water or very

      diluted fruit squash. I had two mugs of green tea around 6.45 but that seemed

      according to the nurse to have been a no, no and I was not allowed any more

      water to drink and was getting rather thirsty by the time in went into the Cath

      Lab around 10.45.

      I had been told that I was the only patient having one on

      Friday but another man had been added to the list as an urgent case as he had

      been found to have a heart rate in the 20’s. He went in first and I was

      relieved when he was wheeled back in after the procedure that he was sitting up

      looking well and smiling and that his heart rate was already beating away at a

      regular 70 bpm.

      When I went in the four staff introduced themselves. The

      doctor doing the procedure was a different consultant from the one I had

      expected. I asked if I was getting an MRI compatible one. He said that he did

      not know but would check and went over to a table where the equipment was set

      out and returned with the good news that it would be.

      I was given an oxygen mask and a sedative was injected via my cannula and a

      green curtain/screen was hung over my head leaving me in a twilight world. He

      explained what he was about to do and was soon injecting the local anaesthetic

      into my left shoulder area. He had surprised me by saying that I probably would

      be able to go home in the evening subject to a satisfactory chest X-Ray and

      that the admission letter is just to prepare you in case you need to stay

      over. I didn’t feel anything as he cut

      into the skin or during the procedure apart from a slight tugging. I did not

      actually feel sedated and was carrying a conversation on with him and asking

      questions although the nurse later said that I had dropped for a while at off

      at one point. I could hear/feel him attaching the leads to the pacemaker and

      soon he was stitching me up and checking it.

      Back to the ward to compare notes with the earlier patient.

      Looking at the monitor I was attached to I was surprised to see that my heart

      rate was hovering at around 100 as although I had been back in AF for three

      months it had averaged 72 and had only been in the 130’s briefly over a few

      days in late March on my BP home readings over that time.

      After some very welcome water followed a sandwich and I cup

      of tea I initially felt fine but as the afternoon wore on I felt a pain my ribs

      on the lower left side. The nurse though it was probably because of pressure

      that had been applied to my chest during the procedure. To me it was beginning

      to feel like when I have had in the past

      broken ribs or when I had fluid on my lung after my heart valve replacement. I

      was taken down for my chest X-Ray that showed that there was some air in my

      chest wall cavity. When the doctor came round he said that I would need to stay

      overnight and that hopefully the air would have gone by morning when I would

      have another X-ray and meantime to wear an oxygen mask. Patient No 1 was OK and

      happily set of home after a technician had set up his pacemaker and given him

      his pacemaker card to carry with him at all times. He then came to set up and

      explain mine and give me an appointment for the pacemaker clinic in eight

      weeks. I looked at my card to find that I had been fitted with a single chamber

      model by Boston Scientific an Essentio MRI SR Pacemaker basic rate 60 Mode

      VVIR. He of course did not know why I not been given a dual chamber model. He

      said since being fitted I had 13 pauses in my heart rate that had caused the

      pacemaker to kick in.

      I had chosen chicken casserole for dinner but it was not

      quite as I expected and was rather exotic. My head started to sweat and I felt

      flushed and suspected that it might have MSG in it. I began to feel light

      headed and dizzy and called nurse. She had me lay flat on my bed and checked my

      BP that had dropped considerably. She thought that I might be dehydrated and

      had me drink some water and injected something into my cannula followed by a

      saline solution. My BP gradually start to recover but she kept me laying down

      for some time. When I felt better I sat up and had my dessert.:-)

      Overnight the chest pain felt worse and I passed that

      information on to the nurse. The consultant Dr F who had been supposed to fit

      my pacemaker came round with his team on ward rounds. After discussing my

      pneumothorax problem I asked why I not been fitted with the expected dual

      chamber pacemaker. That was a conversation killer as he had had obviously not

      know about it. The rest of his group stood open mouthed with nothing to say. He

      could only say that it must have been a decision made by someone after the pre

      assessment. I pointed out that my heart rate was now around 30% higher that it

      had been in recent weeks. He asked if my AF was usually a problem to me. I said

      that the only times in the past that I had been aware of it was when initially

      noticing the heart rate increase when suddenly going in to AF. The only other

      time I’m aware of it is when laying on my left side. He felt it may not need

      treating providing that I was protected by a blood thinner either Warfarin that

      I said that I had stopped due to joint pains or his preferred one Rivaroxaban that

      I have always said is contra indicated for patients with artificial heart

      valves and confirmed to me by the makers. He gave the usual cardiologists

      answer that it just has not been trialled on valve replacement patients as they

      are small group and that if it caused a brain bleed it would be less

      devastating than a stroke caused by a clot! In the end I agreed to try it. A

      nurse I had earlier been speaking to later said that I had surprised her by

      agreeing so easily.

      Another X-Ray was done around lunch time. My bed was

      opposite the window to the nurses station. I could see a doctor, the sister and

      two nurses with very concerned looks on their faces looking at a monitor. I

      thought that must be my results and the doctor (Ukranian)came through to see me

      still with the concerned look on her face. I said that I knew it was my results

      they were discussing. She said that the pneumothorax had worsened and that she

      needed insert a tube to let the air out. She said that it happens to one of

      their 30/40 patients a month but a nurse said that it has been happening more

      often recently.

      I was not too concerned as I had fluid drained from a lung

      after my aortic valve replacement that had taken three days to clear. She went

      away to get the equipment and then laid this impressive collection. Anyway

      after several shots of lidocaine and some morphine she inserted a long needle

      and a tube between my ribs. The tube went into a container with sterile

      solution and soon bubbles from the air were going through the solution. When

      they stopped she asked me to cough to force more out and turn from one side to

      the other force more air out. She went off to other things after telling me to

      keep active to keep the air flowing. When I stood up the tube filled with blood

      so I called for a nurse who was not sure if that should be happening. The

      doctor came back and was not too concerned about it but my chest pain was

      increasing making it difficult to move or breathe deeply. I was given more

      morphine and more oxygen through my mask and told to breathe as strongly as possible to expand my lung.

      The doctor decided that little was now coming out and if she removed the drain

      the pain would stop.

      Back for another X-Ray that showed that most of the air had

      been extracted and very little liquid was now in the area. The doctor

      confidently expected that all would be well by morning.

      During the afternoon I noticed Fridays first patient going

      into the main ward with his wife and hoped that he had not developed my

      problem. His wife came in to tell me that during the morning he had developed a

      chest pain that was going up into his throat and that he was sweating and had a

      headache. They did an ECG and checked him over and told him that he had a

      virus. Hospital acquired??

      I had the X-Ray around 8.30 on Sunday morning and this time

      the doctor came back with a smile saying that it was clear and that I could go

      home. The consultant and his team came around again. My heart rate was still

      hovering at 100bpm and I asked him about another cardioversion or ablation to

      rid me of this AF beast. I have over the past few weeks had a numbness or lack

      of feeling in my left foot and lower leg that is now also starting to affect

      the right foot and have been having tests to find a cause for it. The

      consultant said that he would like that to be diagnosed fully before taking

      that route and would leave it for six months before seeing me to discuss it and

      by that time would know if the single chamber pacemaker was doing its job. I

      had also told him that I had inquired at a private hospital about having a left

      atrial appendage closure fitted (Watchman device) he said that they fit an

      alternative device the Amplatzer Device that we could discuss in the future to

      avoid the need for blood thinners.

      I was still unhappy to be left with untreated AF and later

      spoke to the doctor who had performed the chest drainage. She suggested

      Diltiazem MR as an alternative and gave me some plus a prescription. It turned

      out to be a calcium antagonist and probably as bad for side effects as

      Bisoprolol and is contra indicated for me in some ways.

      Write ups on pacemaker procedures seem to vary greatly for

      the recovery period. My dressing was removed the next day and I can wash

      normally from day five. Some say that the arm must not be raised over shoulder

      height my one says head height but I’m playing that one safe. No way do I want

      to need to have the wire detach itself.

      I do not need any painkillers for the shoulder but I’m aware

      of it and it is a bit stiff. My concern is what movements I make when asleep or

      when first waking up and stretching without thinking. The wound looks quite

      neat with little swelling and I’m not sure if it is a bruise round it or if it

      is the antiseptic they splashed all over. I have to take 500mg of penicillin

      four times a day for five days. The first nurse gave me two capsules but the

      second only gave me one. When I questioned it the first one had obviously got

      it wrong. As they keep the drugs locked in your cupboard you are dependent on

      them giving them at the correct time. It did not always happen and I only had

      three on Saturday and other times the doses were either early or late.

      After taking the Diltiazem on Sunday my heart rate dropped

      to 61. I wondered if it dropped below that and the pacemaker had kicked in. In

      the evening it crept up to 78 and was similar this morning. Today it has been

      around 66.

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