breathing !

have u died yet? the answer is no. and there's no point in worrying about it until it happens. im saying this because i have actually been having the same kind of experience, hence why and how i even found this forum/post. my background info is that im 20 and male. i started having the exact same daydream like thoughts such as "what if im this piece of food im chewing on right now is the one that sends me outta here. what if this is my last breathe and i choke and die right in front of my family"  very scary thoughts. at first they didnt bother me at all. I actually believe you have to be very smart and intelligent to imagine such a thing so vividly, I really do.  I bet you are smart. almost too smart for your own good, honestly. that's how i started feeling about myself.  this feeling can almost be described as "being too aware of death" and it's an achy feeling that begins to stop you from enjoying life. (this is only from personal experience) now my life hasn't gone to shambles or anything. my life is acutally pretty good. i have advice for how to conquer this.

Advice time:

First of all, understand that you are probably fine (at this point you probably hate when people tell you that you are fine cuz they don't know what you feel). Believe me, it's an unwordly feeling. I still truly believe that anyone with this type of anxiety is way smart. too smart for their own good like i said before. ever look at those stupid idiots just enjoying life and not worrying about the fact that they could die at any second? stupid idiots! haha. obviously kidding but seriously, to be able to just think of this and effect your physicality is pretty amazing.

Second advice, give yourself a chance. We are both young and don't really have any clue as to how this started. Before you go looking for a medicine to cure whatever the hell this is, just slow your role. you will get over this because it's just another little chapter in your life. you will conquer this feeling and be able to express to others what you did to make yourself feel better about it. we learned the hard way that anxiety can really effect just about anyone, because you honestly cannot comprehend anxiety attacks unless you've dealt with them yourself. i was getting lumps in my throat, my heart rate was faster, chest hurt, felt like i couldn't get in a fulfilling breath, kept having those same crazy thoughts. this sh*t builds up like snowball. that's why you just have to stop for a second and call yourself crazy. this is coming from one of the largest hypochondriacs in the world steph. my family thinks i act like a headcase haha.  i honestly do want my parents to make me a doctor's appointment because i think i have acid reflux which can make you burp and acid may cause minor swelling of the esophagus and yada yada yada self online research. i've been starting to feel better tho ;] =] lol. they think im a knucklehead.

More advice. Be better. Be better than you were. Realize that when these episodes all started you were not perfect. No one is perfect, but maybe you can push yourself to be a little better. I started going to the gym again. I haven't been smoking weed (as much lmao). I still eat junk food but I also eat some healthy stuff. you get the point. make sure you are getting enough sleep. sometimes if you let these thoughts control you, you become lazy and don't do things at actually make you feel better. also analyze your spirituality. i have honestly been having a lot of thoughts about God. I have been a proud Jew my whole life, but I feel in today's society, not believing in God is becoming more prominent. It makes you think about weird things, things that may go against how you have carried yourself your entire life. these are interesting thoughts that can actually be unhealthy and possibly subconsiously the cause for some. maybe even me. but after confronting the problem directly I have come to the conclusion that I love being Jewish and how it has shaped my life and given me certain outlooks on things. I don't know if this has anything to do with thoughts you have been having. but for this paragraph, basically confront things that may be making you feel bad, physically and potentially subconsciously. you're probably fine tho ;] .

more. surround yourself with people. just be around people you like and people you love.

meditate and or stretch. one good meditation technique is sitting in place with your eyes closed. start with a couple slow breaths. become a mountain in your mind. and any thought that comes up is just a cloud that blows away with the wind. and you watch that thought blow away. this is a relaxing technique that helps improve your mental strength. because we took our ridiculous thoughts to the next level such as this. "what if i lose contorl of my left hand. nah that's just a thought that i won't think of anymore. but what if I can't stop thinking about it?!!?" just tell yourself to shut up and start paying attention to something that matters. meditate or stretch and become the mountain. and these ridiculous mindsets will flutter away.

i hope you will cope with this. you are a strong 22 year old woman and you don't take no for an answer =].  i hope that maybe something i have said can provide some help or support. i wasn't trying to sound like an anxiety guru or anything because I honestly havent dealt with it for a long time. i just feel like, if i am smart enough to come up with such ridiculous things in my mind, then i am smart enough to stop coming up with such ridiculous things in my mind. ya know? you know. another thing that helped me is this.. i'd rather i have to deal with this than my little brother.  i thought about it. anything that can possibly happen to me, is better than what it would be if it happened to someone i cared about.  all i can do is just be the best and happiest i can be while im here and help those around me.  so u should do the same. feel better, you may not be perfect tomorrow, just keep getting better. later.