Broken left humerus Surgery and Suck: Depression Help!
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So where do I begin. Maybe I should start with I am living in my own personal hell. Many say keep positive thoughts and to look at all the amazing people that surround and support me. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for my family, friends, and husband but some days seem hopeless. More days than others.
It has been 64 days since I broke my humerus in 5 different places. And about 61 days since a plate and pins has been surgically placed from my shoulder to my elbow. It all started on Sept 13th. I fell at one of my two jobs. The scary part is the job I was working at, at the time of my fall, I was working solo. As soon as I fell and heard that pop, I laid there screaming for help. Of course no one heard me so I mustered up enough courage to get up, in shock and hold my left arm in place with my right hand. I then called security telling them I am almost positive I broke my arm and to call an ambulance. Lets just say I was lucky to not have knocked myself out, because who knows when they would have founnd me. I count my blessings that I am alive.
Anyway the ambulance rushed me to the hospital where they cut off my sweatshirt and took x-rays. The whole situation felt surreal, like a nightmare. They soon after told me I had a spiral/oblique fracture to my distal humerus. The ortho PA on duty splinted me and told me to call the ortho that Monday for an appointment that Thursday. Unfortunately that Saturday night was a nightmare. I could literally feel my bone moving around and pain killers weren’t cutting it. My husband rushed me to an even closer ER the next morning. I had more x’rays done at the ER and was replinted. My husband even went out and bought a recliner since I couldn’t sleep anywhere else. I was then sent to the ortho for Monday. As soon as I entered the ortho on Monday I was set up for Surgery on Tuesday. The amount of pain I went through from when I broke it, up to surgery was excruciating all day long. So for the surgery I am grateful.
Did I ever tell you I never broke a bone in my life, nor did I ever go through surgery and anesthesia before. Going into surgery was probably the scariest moment of my life ever. However I was out for the count in a matter of seconds. While I was under my doctor found not one, not two, but five breaks coming off my spiral break. This lead to the surgery to last 7 hours instead of 3 hours. A plate and several pins were placed from my shoulder to elbow.
So you might be thinking well Lauren you had surgery and are no longer in excruciating pain every moment so whats wrong. Firstly I still get pain, just different kind and did still take pain meds for it. Also during the surgery the doc had to move over my radial nerve so I couldn’t move my fingers too well after the surgery. I now have radial palsy meaning weakness in the radial nerve. For the first 5 weeks I was in a splint with splint changes each week. My fingers can move a little better now but my thumb is still completely numb. But lucky part is my incision healed well; no infection etc.
This past couple of weeks have been one of the scariest. My ortho introduced me to a physical therapist and he said I needed to start moving my arm or I would be stuck with a bent arm that can’t turn over forever and at the same time the doc saw updated x-rays and my bones haven’t fused yet or even started. He needs a cat scan by week 12. Therefore the doc wants me to move my arm on my own using my good arm, but not too hard because he doesn’t want the plate coming out by accident and then he has to God forbid do another surgery. He doesn’t want me doing physical therapy yet because he is afraid it be too rough and will pull out my plate and pins. So definitely scares me when my doc wants me to wait for PT, move my arm on my own, and me now being afraid of it staying like this forever.
Basically I am in a make shift splint for the next two weeks. It is a half splint with ace bandage around it. Everynight my husband takes the splint off and I move my arm ever so slightly with my good arm.
I miss work, and doing normal things with friends without being in pain or nausea. I hate having people doing everything for me including me simple tasks of bathing and pulling my pants down to go to the bathroom. It is embarrassing and dehumanizing. I just want to get better sooner or just better at all.
Added stress I was taking too many percoset so I went cold turkey and went through all the withdrawal symptoms physically. But mentally I am more depressed then ever. I am so worried of never getting better,
I am scared sh*tless and just wish I knew someone who experienced the same trauma so I don’t feel alone. I am scared the feeling and movement won’t come back. I can’t be like this forever. I am already a mess, crying every moment.
7 likes, 154 replies
delsC Brokenwings29
Posted
About a month ago, I had a fall on the road while riding a bicycle and was lucky the car behind me stopped in time. Went to A&E in hospital at 1am and the doctor said it was just a minor crack. He put me on cast for 2 weeks before seeing a orthopaedic specialist.
After an xray It turns out that I had 2 cracks at the rotating bone and it was slightly shifted. A surgery was scheduled 2 days later, it was my first time doing a surgery with general anesthesia, crazy thoughts had gone through my mind again and again.
After the surgery I was on 2 weeks bandage and a brace adjusted to free movement. When the day finally came to remove my stitches, I realized that my arm was unable to straighten and bend above 60 degree and Supination was impossible.
1 week has passed and I only gained 10 degree of extension but no improvement in flexion and supination. I am getting more deppressed each day and developed an eating disorder to overcome my anxiety. I did what the PT told me to do and even push beyond a level 6 pain, it just doesn't get better.Am I permanently disabled?
Cynder delsC
Posted
So sorry you're going through this. It is scary and painful. I couldn't straighten my arm either after I shattered my wrist and humerus. Follow up with PT. My accident happened 9 months ago and I am still going to therapy. Keep working at it and you will regain the use of your arm. Do not give up. It takes a long time but you will get there!
delsC Cynder
Posted
Thanks. It has been 19 days since my last post. My elbow showed very little improvements, supination is 95% healed although there is still some stiffness every morning after I wake up.
On normal situation, my flexion is about 90 degree. With aggressive bending, it can reach 110 degree. But every 1hr it goes back to 90 degree and I have to bend aggressively again.
On normal situation, my extension is about 30 degree. With aggressive stretching, it can straighten to 20 degree. Same thing, every 1hr it goes back to 30 degree.
I am getting frustrated and depressed, I work so hard and endured the pain, every hour and every min as long as I am awake I just keep moving, massaging, working on it. Yet everyday I woke up facing the same reality again and again. I am starting to think that it's either the metal plate or abnormal bone is causing this.
Should I go have another xray or MRI to show me what exactly is blocking my motion?
BrokenEmma delsC
Posted
You should have more movement than that. I think you should definitely have an x-ray to see how things have settled after the operation.
I truly understand how you feel. I had a plate and screws fixed in my arm 10 weeks ago today. It's been a nightmare. I'm still in pain and find it hard to sleep which turns me into an emotional mess.
Still on lot's of pain killers and do feel very depressed at times.
Hopefully your movement will improve but I think what you are going through all sound fairly normal. Speak to your consultant, GP and physiotherapists to find out if this is all normal.
Not knowing makes me very nervous but once I know that everything I'm going through is normal I do feel a little relieved.
Not that that helps with the pain.
Good luck and try and stay strong.
We have to no matter how hard it seems.
bubbles46 BrokenEmma
Posted
delsC BrokenEmma
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It's getting worst now. When I bend my elbow for too long, my pinky and ring fingers starts to feel numb. This happens suddenly and even my arm feels numb sometimes when straighten. When I tap my harden scar tissue, there is this tingling sharp numb sensation. Is it the nerves being compressed and hurt when I was bending the elbow?
My incision cut is along the joint where there is a huge nerve on that area...
BrokenEmma delsC
Posted
delsC BrokenEmma
Posted
He is on leave and only comes back on our next appointment date. The hospital don't encourage me to change a doctor as they have no full understanding of my condition even with my medical report. Right now I can only wait
BrokenEmma delsC
Posted
I think you're going to have to be patient. Once your consultant is back and you have your visit speak about all your concerns.
Carry on with the exercise and pain killers.
Speak to your GP till then and see if there is anything they can recommend.
I've just started taking gabapentin which is for nerve pain and I think it's starting to work. Ask about that medication perhaps.
Stay strong.
sandy39611 delsC
Posted
U sound just like me. I had to go to pain management to get on oxycotin. That is the ONLY thing that helped me I injured my self may 2016 I only got past about 100 degrees of flexion about Bob 2016. Sept 2016 I had a manipulation under anesthesia. That didnt help. U shud really think bout pain management. U sound just like me. That's the only thing that helped me.
sandy39611 delsC
Posted
sandy39611 bubbles46
Posted
If pain is the limiting factor beg for pain management for 1st to get drugs. That's the only thing that helped me. I had an MIA it didn't help..onky oxy helped. But get off of it asap the withdrawal sucks!
sandy39611 delsC
Posted
Beg for pain management. If pain is ur limiting factor get to the doctor!!! It's expensive but it's the ONLY way I moved my arm again! I had a manipulation u see anestitia it didn't work! Don't waste any more time. I had to be put on oxycotin. It worked miracles!
delsC sandy39611
Posted
5 weeks passed after the surgery and my improvements seems to have stopped now. My friends has been telling me to come to terms with it and learn to use the hand for everything
BrokenEmma delsC
Posted
Honestly if you only had the surgery 5 weeks ago it's hardly surprising you are still having these problems. I'm at 10 weeks and still have terrible swelling, constant throbbing and sleepless nights. I look like I have a huge muscle in my arm and around scar it feels like rock, limited movement and stiffness.
I saw my surgen yesterday as I was concerned that I'm in constant pain etc.
He thinks I have complex regional pain syndrome.
But isn't worried at all. It all normal and he said I'm where he'd expect for 10 weeks.
He said expect pain and swelling for up to a year.
I've had naproxin, oxicotin, orimorph, codeine and now am trying gabapentin. All have had side effects and I'm still in pain.
What you are feeling is normal, try to stop worrying and remember there is no quick fix. It's going to take time.
X
delsC BrokenEmma
Posted
omg thanks Emma! My doctor and therapist both told me most patients would have recovered by now. Seems like I should get a second opinion or just change to another hospital. I shall wait for my next appointment and see how it goes then. But I feel better than now knowing there are people in similar situation as me and I'm not the only one.
BrokenEmma delsC
Posted
Bless you. I know it's scary feeling you're the only one.
I feel so much better since I found this forum.
I think healing time is different for everyone.
A young very fit man may recover a lot faster where as a 30+ might take 3 times as long.
Keep that chin up.x
bubbles46 sandy39611
Posted
sandy39611 delsC
Posted