Can Depression/Anxiety make you think you don't love someone?

just adding to my previous post - a tip i have that works sometimes is to laugh at your anxious thoughts. preferably out loud, it wont fix everything but its kinda like calling your anxiety out for being so silly and illogical. remember, just because you cant access money in a safe, doesnt mean it's not there. our love is still there, we just cant access it. im struggling just as much, but i know that i can beat this. and so can you.

Does anybody want a man's perspective? I am currently going through this situation... behaving as the guys you list below. But I am pretty well in touch with my emotions, motivations, core beliefs and wounds. I can tell you how I am feeling at the moment and why these fears and anxieties arise when things start to become... uncertain... between two people. When you go from a certain place, whether it's good or bad that place, to the UNKNOWN place. All of a sudden, your fears and anxieties spike and you almost don't know where they came from. This gives you more fear and anxiety as you feel unsafe and vulnerable to these powerful, troubling feelings. Raw elemental sensations that you can't just will away.

Anyhow I will write more very soon, on how this is going from my perspective with my ex whom I have a two year old daughter with. We are in this unknown place today based on an event that happened about two weeks ago. Our status was firmly NOT TOGETHER for about 1 1/2 years, but after this day it entered a 'maybe' stage. Maybe we can fix this, maybe it will work, maybe it's not completely over? This created a hellish question mark, which began to send my anxiety and fears soaring. There is old trauma between us... our previous breakups were horrible and created massive separation anxiety for me. To the point I was nearly suicidal for months. This was years ago but when this recent question mark situation arose, all those old wounds seemed to have been poked.

I fear an attachment. I fear a commitment that may very well lead to heart-searing pain once again. I fear being depressed, anxious, and separated from someone I am attached to. I have deep core wounds of there is something broken with me, there is something wrong with me, I do not have what it takes, I am unresilient and undisciplined and weak. These are s****y beliefs to hold but I cannot get them out of my heart.

I am sober today, make good money, am healthy, have a gorgeous incredible daughter, her mother (my ex) is also beautiful, kind, works hard, and is a wonderful mom. But I fear I don't have what it takes... and the prospect of this, of trying and failing, of miserably attempting to apply myself but fearing that I know the outcome anyways (failure) creates massive anxiety, fear and panic in me when I am around her and my daughter anymore. This started suddenly only two weeks ago...

What happened two weeks ago you ask.... wow I guess I'm doing it all now. I had a massively awful reaction to corticosteroids prescribed for a dental procedure. To some unlucky humans they have terrible side effects to mood and mental stability. For 3-4 days I was off my rocker, extremely emotional, sobbing for nothing, worrying, pining, obsessing about little random occurences. It was traumatizing truly. During this unlucky time, my ex decided to tell me she was attempting to finally date again and ready to move on with her life.

Normally yes I would be sad.. I mean we were still sleeping together (big, massive never to be repeated mistake)... but I handled it extremely bad with this hyperemotional state I was in. I begged her back, begged her to let me make things right, etc. etc. This is what led to this question mark status now between us and to me being bogged down by awful irrational anxiety and fears. Everything feels unsettled and that creates anxiety.. anxiety is fear of the unknown.. The more massive the unknown the more massive the anxiety. Imagine people on trial who may face 30 years in prison... the anxiety must be impossible to even imagine.

Anyhow... My anxiety with her now is due to feeling I am incapable of making her happy, of truly making a relationship and marriage work with her or any woman. And that I will once again hurt her, my daughter, and moreso MYSELF massively and then not be able to handle the fallout. I don't want to hurt others, I am tired of causing pain to myself and others when deep in my mind I know the right answer. I simply don't have the guts to face the music.

May it work between us...? If I can quell my anxiety and fear, then perhaps YES. But right now, this sense of anxiety and panic pops up when we are together... and my brain and body naturally respond with "LEAVE, THIS IS THE PROBLEM, WE CANNOT DO THIS.""

If I could get the anxiety and fears to go away, to turn to peace and calm, I could then listen closer to my intuition. Listen for God's soft voice. But when the massive anxiety is rearing it's head... we cannot hear anything else but "RUN. MAKE THIS STOP. ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE THIS STOP, DO IT.""

Sigh... this s**t isn't easy, friends. I don't understand. My focus now is to understand these core wounds that make me feel worthless and feel incapable so that I may feel resilient, capable, blessed and worthy. If I feel strong, capable and worthy, I am praying I will feel stable and secure enough to raise my daughter as the daddy she deserves. And to make my lovely and good-hearted ex and child's mother happy and content and loved.

Paul

hi,

just wanted to share that i am in a similar situation. i cried while reading all of these posts because they are all so relatable. long story short, ive been with my bf for almost 2 years and for the past few months, i have thoughts that come and go about not being in love with him any more. we live an hour away from each other and see each other 1-2 x week. whenever i spend an extended period of time with him, these feelings dissolve. but sometimes i just get this gut feeling that im not in love with him. i try to find solid evidence but i cant. i cannot see my future without him. i love him so much. he is literally my person. but this guilt and these intrusive thoughts are making feel so guilty and im becoming depressed. i am praying to god to give me strength to overcome these negative thoughts. but its so difficult. i just feel so sad. i dont look forward to things in life lately. i have a history of anxiety but manage it with meditation, deep breathing and prayer. i dont know what to do. when i think about ending things with him i get panic attacks. i cannot fathom the thought. but can i live this way forever? if anyone wants to connect, share a similar experience, or provide each other with support, a friend, please message me. thanks for reading and may God bless you all with the comfort you are looking for.

This is what i have been looking for. Ive felt for the last year that i am going insane. i could not have typed it out better myself you have described everything that i am going through. Its a horrible situation but i am relived that i am not the only one going through this confusing and depressing time. Has anyone found anything that helps? Ive tried anti depressants and it was a no, anxiety tablets did nothing and i am still trying to look for the right therapy to help my main issue which is with my partner.

These emotions might make you feel that way. But you should know every human being on this earth is worthy of being loved and being able to love. You should work on these emotions before they take over you and the belief that is manifesting now becomes permanent and can’t be averted.

It can appear to feel this way, but this doesn’t mean you don’t care for your loved ones. If you feel like you are not getting along with someone, talk with your friend. Every problem has a solution. Your anxiety does too

If anyone else feels the pain that Chantal had to go through, confide in your partner and don’t keep them in the dark. This can only be worked out together.