Can Depression/Anxiety make you think you don't love someone?

hi your not the only one going through this But I currently am going through this I have a one-year-old and I met the love of my life while I was pregnant with my one-year-old and we shall in love instantly and the next thing you know I can see if my four months old which is now here on my birthdayAnd had him November 20 and after I had him me and my partner said if you want to go to resort and I started monthly thanking situations like what if we don’t last together what if he finds Someone better than me but if he doesn’t love me anymore so I kind a wanna way to minutes and then on our last day before we left the resort I ask myself do I love you why am I here and it made my heart break saying those type of stuff like I don’t love you anymore and he hasn’t really done anything to make you feel that way it’s just instantly came in at the time I knew that something was wrong my thoughts running every day about do I love him or is this what you gonna lasting it’ll be days where I didn’t wanna be around him or hate him this minute or I love him and this just too much and then it hits me from time to time and I keep it to myself and it hurts me to even hear myself say it in my head that I don’t love you anymore and this and that and the third it just really scares me and I completely agree with you’re going through I feel like it’s some sort of postpartum depression because I didn’t wait and nobody really told me about hormones or depression and waiting to have a baby’m waiting to have a baby and he’s currently mildly going through what I’m going through since he’s a new father he sometimes experience what I experience it when it comes to depression and I’m really glad that I’m not the only one going through this because it makes you think that you don’t love him when you do it makes you think that you guys are not gonna last and makes you think that he’s gonna be like this forever and is only temporary so I’m praying that I can get out of this funk because it causes not only that anxiety and symptom but depreciation not wanna do anything this is yourself and the kids have that thought I’m just tired of going through this 沈

i cannot express the relief i felt finding this thread. I know im late to it but i figured i'd add my own experiences here.

I've been in a relationship with my partner for almost a year. Our one year anniversary is coming up soon and while i am excited for it im also very nervous.

But a few days ago i began feeling like i dont love them, or that i dont love them enough to be a good partner to them. We've been really happy up to this point, they helped me through things and i helped them through things too. Until one night, i was laying in bed and the thoughts hit me like a truck.

"do i still love them?"

ever since that night, i've felt extreme guilt. I know i really care for them but i feel like it isn't "enough". Like i'm lying through my teeth with every tender word at times. Or even that i'm incapable of feeling love. And when i do feel some kind of love for them it all crashes down on me negatively because i either dont think its strong enough or i've managed to convince myself i'm leading them on or only using them for affection. Specifically the thought of leading them on brings me immense amounts of distress because thats something i'd never want to do.

i've been honest with them, which is something i didn't want to do to avoid hurting them but they've been nothing but understanding. I've asked them about breaking up a few times before i realized that would probably just make me even more miserable because i cant handle the thought of losing them. I want things to stay the same, but i feel like i need to break up and run from them, let them find someone better because i genuinely feel like they deserve someone who doesn't think or feel this way.

Its been 5 days since i began feeling this way. Me and my partner agreed it would be better if i just lived life how i always did and just tried to ease myself into a state of normalcy, and talked to them when i felt bad, but its hard. Everything that used to make me happy before seems filthy and bitter now, especially when i'm at my worst. I've had so many ups and downs during this period of time, i feel myself slowly calming down but then everything just crashes back down and i feel really afraid. Because i definitely believe this has something to do with depression or anxiety but another part of me will always picture myself as a cruel, awful person. I yearn for things to go back to normal and they kind of have, me and my partner talked as we usually do today and i felt mostly fine but small feelings of guilt kept sneaking up on me until i just felt awful all over again.

There are times when i even feel guilty talking to my partner, about anything. It feels like theres something watching over me constantly, judging my every move and everything i think about.

It really hurts. I've always had trouble understanding certain thoughts and feelings which scares me even more, because i feel like i never actually loved them and that its all been a lie. I want to do the right thing but i dont know what that even is. It's terrifying to think about how long this will last, too. I just want things to go back to normal completely and i want to feel genuinely happy again, without a worry in the world. I dont feel even slightly in control with how i think or feel. I've been falling back into self harm as well which is terrifying

I am so incredibly sorry to anyone who might feel this way as well. Just know that you are not alone, i understand, it seriously hurts a lot. I'd appreciate some advice as well, because at times it feels like i cant even live with myself.

Thank you and have a nice day.

I also am going through something similar. My boyfriend and I have been together a year things progressed quite quickly and he suffers from depression and anxiety really badly and he is an alcoholic. Every few weeks he would say that he didn't deserve me I always tried to be positive and patient and show him he was deserving. This past January we had a great weekend planned together and he told me how much he loved me leading up to it then hours before we were meeting he called told me he didn't love me it was over he never wanted to see me again he was drunk. I was devastated. The drink progressively became an issue with covid and being laid off for so long. A few days later he called me to say sorry he didn't mean to treat me that way he just wasn't sure about the relationship. I was hurt. I have a fantastic relationship w his mom and sister and they were concerned about him and his treatment of me. They checked in on him multiple times to make sure he was okay. He ended up telling them that he loved me so much that I was the love of his life he told his mom he never loved someone so much. a week later he told me that he loved me and didn't want to live a life without me that I was the love of his life. He wanted to get a place for us to live together. Fast-forward to March we had been looking for a place 2 weeks ago we signed a lease and were to get our keys this week. moving tomorrow. Wednesday he told me he was so excited all morning and that he was excited for our life together. that afternoon he told me to forget him he was no longer moving in with me it was over he was so drunk. he said he doesnt love me like he should. He blocked and deleted me on everything. Im truly gutted how can this happen? I move tomorrow it should be exciting and we should be doing this together ive never felt so gutted. How can i go from being the love of his life to him not loving me like he should?

I am going through this exact same thing right now with my partner....

My partner and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and got engaged last August. We are both extremely close and have had a great relationship the entire time outside of a few small issues but we worked them out.

My partner has a lot of family drama. His mother has depression/anxiety and is bipolar and very controlling of my partner, emotionally a lot. A couple years ago his mother and father separated and a bit after that he had a depression/anxiety episode where he became distant stopped saying he loved me and all. This went on for about a 1 1/2 weeks then he got over it and said it was his depression/anxiety causing him to feel that way because of his family. His mom has done a lot of crazy stuff, attempted suicide, drank and drive, got arrested, etc. Also, last summer his mom wanted my partner to pay for her lawyer and he didn't and she told him "Your dead to me." Fast forward a couple weeks ago, my partner talked to his mom on the phone and she went crazy about his father wanting to finalize their divorce. He was also in a very emotionally and little bit physically abusive relationship before me.

After my partner talked to his mother he became distant again and few days later he broke up with me and said he didn't have the same feelings for me any more and wasn't in love with me. He also said he didn't want to lose me. He gave me 0 signs before he talked to his mother that he was even the slightest bit out of love with me. We talked a couple days after that and he made me feel a bit better about things and said it was mainly his mother which triggered it. He said he is not who he wants to be. He has a lot of things to work out with his family and put his foot down on several things. We both said we hoped we can try again. He has been on generic zoloft for a few years and I am thinking he may need to switch his medicine. He is going to go see his primary care next week to get a referral to a therapist. I have not talked to him really since April 5 and apparently he has unfollowed me on Facebook because he no longer likes or is interested in anything I am whereas before almost instantly he would like or become interested in my posts. I'm just so very baffled because it's like my best friend and soulmate became a complete and total stranger overnight. I believe though deep down he is still in love with me and it's just his depression/anxiety and issues with his family that has taken control of him right now.

hi chantal

ive just read what you said and i have been struggleing a couple months with exactly what you have explained. i have been completely cluless of what ive had and now i know. i just want to know how your doing and how you got through it if you did

isabel

hi chantal

ive just read what you said and i have been struggleing a couple months with exactly what you have explained. i have been completely cluless of what ive had and now i know. i just want to know how your doing and how you got through it if you did

isabel

Hi, My name is Ugonna Ogboko. I'm a student researcher doing an observation in an online setting. You guys all seem to have the same experiences when it comes to having depression and anxiety in a relationship. You guys have the same opinions and feelings when it comes to this subject.

when i read this i cried so HARD because i exactly feel the same, and i thought it was only me:(

I've been like this for the past 3 weeks and I'm scared so much and i feel so depressed!

back in 2018 before i even meet my boyfriend i was depressed and i went to a therapy and took a lot of pills back then and i got better, and when i stopped the pills i was totally fine until now...

i truly don't wanna lose my boyfriend!! 😦

sorry if my English is bad

Hi guys - really hoping someone can help me here

Me and my boyfriend were super happy for a whole year - I've never been so infatuated with someone in my life - he is literally me in male form, we do so many fun things together, he gets me and I get him. A few months back he went through a very depressed stage, and panic ended our relationship. After about a week he completely went back on what he said and asked for me back. He has been trying so hard ever since and I was wary at first but so so overjoyed he asked for me back. I left it about a month then decided to officially be back with him. It felt like a whirlwind and so right, I knew he was in therapy for his depression and I felt totally secure. About a week in we had a brief tiff over him being jealous (something he experienced over insecurity I had wanted to be with other people when he broke off with me), something changed in my brain - literally like a switch, and now I honestly cant look at him the same way. Every time he tries to give me affection or text me I feel anxious and stressed and panicky. I have literally gone from seeing this guy as my entire world to not wanting to be anywhere near him in a 30 second period. I am so so devastated because I know he is a good match for me, he has had his issues but he is deeply sensitive and understanding, proud of me, encouraging and has everything in common with me. I have never ever had doubts before this. It is scaring me because it is eating me up, I know I don't want it to be over but its like my brain is telling me to get away - what do I do... I don't want to feel like this, I just want to feel like I did before.

Has anyone on here felt like this and does it get better? Can my mind switch back? I will literally do anything

thank you x

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I've been through this many times, over many years. It is the result of emotional exhaustion. When the emotional exhaustion eventually is tackled, and is gone, everything that you knew, in your feelings for the person, will go right back to where they were, before this started happening. Trust me!

You gotta find balance in yourself change ya diet start working out start doing things that trigger happy signals in your brain even if its your fav funny movie you laughter is anxietys worse nightmare

You gotta find balance in yourself change ya diet start working out start doing things that trigger happy signals in your brain even if its your fav funny movie you laughter is anxietys worse nightmare

I've been reading this and all these comments for about over a month now. Its all mind-blowing, terrifying and relieving to see that so many people have experienced the same thing. and that it seems to get better. ive been hesitant to reply to this. i guess the fact that we are all here means that we do love and care about our partners dearly, otheriwse we wouldn't fight so hard. but heres my story:

i've had a lot of past trauama (sexual assault, domestic violence, being cheated on or treated without value in relationships) and even before i was in serious relationship, i had attempted suicide and had been extremely depressed. more recently, my aunty was disganosed with cancer. when i got with my partner, from the start he just ticked all the boxes and I felt so loved and cared for, but was still insecure and had issues. thats when i realised i had bad relationship Anxiety, and started worrying all the time about little things, unable to shake it. my inability to deal with relationship anxiety, recent events and possibly the new emotional intensity i was having has just put me into a depression. i see my whole world and future in him, and there's no one else i want to be with but the colour is drained from everything. i know i couldn't be without this person. but at some point, I began to go numb and i felt like i couldn't access the love i have for him, and all my time was spent worrying or numb, and anxious about the numbness. and i would have panic attacks from not being able to feel for him, yet still i want to him all the the time, i like the affection,but i get afraid of it because it doenst always relieve me. i fall asleep on the phone to him every night and its just something i need to do, because when i calm down i feel a little more at home. i constantly worry that im not feeling enough, and i keep asking myself if i love him which evokes an undertone of guilt and fear in that numbness. because i know i want to be with him, all the time, but i can't access that happy feeling, that feeling that everything is okay,and i just want to sit there and love him no question. he is my one, and I know it. to me, theres no one like him in the world. he has the biggest heart, hes so honest, genuine and gentle with me. he hasnt changed and hes been there whenever he can. and no matter what he says or does, it doenst make it better which hurts . when he says i love you, i just get this tight anxiety, guilt and hesitation. i know i love him, its knowledge, but my feelings are absent. I've lost my love for life and the things that make me who i am. music is just sounds, the highway's i loved to look at are just roads, the excitement of getting my lisence is trampled by anxiety. i feel as though i cant enjoy anything anymore, even doing things with my boyfriend, the anxiety still sticks. although it does go away when im with him sometimes or on the phone with him. but the worst thing is feeling that way when hes right by my side. and i can't blame myself because i know this has nothing to do with him, its my own mental thing which has sadly gone too far. however, when i text him, i get the anxious feeling and i just wish texting him was enough. i have a lump in my throat most of the time which worsens it. its from guiilt and anxiety. i also get anxious in public and if i change context (like getting off a bus) because my mood might change. what i fear most is if the love i have starts rushing back, the complex relationship anxiety may return too. which just isnt fair to him, and ive been fighting hard every day. i guess i just want one day i know everything is okay and i can relax and love him. i love him to my core and even if my empathy isnt present, id be there for him every day and make it better as much as i could. i see my future with him but im afraid it'll last forever. ever since these symptoms began and i told him, hes urged me to get mental help, which i have been persuing. hes been there for me the whole ride and hes amazing for that, he deserves for the man he loves so much to be healthy and reciprocate. im only here for him, im trying to fix this becaude its hurting him. it's confusing, because i care so damn much and i still take trains for hours just so he doesn't ride alone. i buy him coffees every chance i can. i give him 6 paragraphs of reassurance and love when he feels a little down. but the passion and feeling in it is covered up by numbness or Anxiety. i do what i do because i love him, but i cant relax in that thought of love. we are so emotionally similar and have the same goals. id do anything for him, and i only want him , but im emotionally dead, and im unable to access the emotions associated to that love. ill fight this for him to the end if i have to. and mental illness surely is a cruel thing. we just have to remember that we aren't cold, unfeeling, unloving people. were human, and we are just sick. and we can get better and feel the love again, not just for our partners, but for life. im a hypocrite for saying it because i dont feel human anymore most days. but i can try. i guess if im looking for anything more here, its just reassurance that ill be okay and that itll turn to normal eventually, and any tips that anyone has for dealing with anxious thoughts or intrusive anxious thoughts related to a relationship. also, if anyone has experienced this and its gotten better, tell me your story. i am extremely afraid. and if i haven't Exactly explained it all correctly, chantal's story is basically the exact same thing.