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Can't have sex

Posted , 12 users are following.

SMM103
SMM103

Had post op check yesterday at 17weeks............ yes took me that long to get one!  The op (A&P and sf) has gone somewhat wrong, I am too tight to have intercourse.  Sorry if tmi, but just the facts.

Consultant has never seen this before, to be honest cant remember exactly what he said but it's the back part of my vj .  He gave me 2 options 1. surgery 2. dialators.  I opted for 2 just could not face further surgery having recently starting to feel a bit normal.  They said to use dialators for 3 months and see how it goes, if no change I would need surgery.

It has just taken so long to recover from this op and now further blooming issues....... so fed up with it all.  The literature, in my opinion gives such an unrealistic timeframe for recovery.  Thank god for this forum.  Feeling a bit down atm and just so fed up with it all.  Husband is good and understanding though so suppose that's something..

0 likes, 24 replies

24 Replies

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  • dorothy03601
    dorothy03601 SMM103

    Posted

    Could it be that because of no exam in 17 weeks the vagina tightened?  I think I would want a second opinion.  Praying for you.
    • SMM103
      SMM103 dorothy03601

      Posted

      I think it may have been picked up sooner and I could have started working on the issue or taking action before I had gone through all of this healing.  Thanks dorothy x
  • phyl_40063
    phyl_40063 SMM103

    Posted

    Feel for you SMM,

    I had my post op check at 12 weeks, and they did ask if had sex; they know the op has been successful if been able to engage in penetrative sex.

    At that point I hadn't as I was scared due to posterior repair being sensitive at back end of vag opening. Anyhow gave it a go day or two later using plenty KYgel and everything fine.

    At 16 weeks post op still a bIt sore at the back end of vag, feels taught and if sitting too long without good support gets quite raw and sore.

    Hope dialators work for you, take care.

    Phyl x💖

  • Imnotadoctor
    Imnotadoctor SMM103

    Posted

    17 weeks that's a long wait! I've only had the AR so far as my consultant said he wouldn't do both at the same time as it could make me "too tight down below". I was really surprised when I found this forum & realised that lots of women have had both done at the same time. It seems to be OK for most women but perhaps there is a risk? Matron did check my consultant out for me & he is very good. I was a bit miffed as I now have to go through it all again when (& if) I get the PR done. I think we don't really appreciate how much this op can take out of you. I really hope you get this sorted out as soon as possible it must be very distressing for you. Can you get a second opinion as more surgery is not something you want unless you really have to? I don't know how old you are but if you are menopausal then something like Vagifem might help. Good luck X
    • SMM103
      SMM103 Imnotadoctor

      Posted

      Thanks you,  I'm 53 so will give myself time for this to sink in and consider seeing GP for vagifem. Thank youx
    • SMM103
      SMM103

      Posted

      Thanks guys, you really are all so supportive and it does help me knowing you are all out there.  It is so tough, no one wanted to give me a post op check, I kept asking for one and eventually got one.  I do believe I will be able to overcome this, I'm just not ready to give up on that side of my life just yet.... at 53...  It is just such a tough surgery which impacts on so many women and I feel does not get the attention or funding it deserves.  

       

    • Imnotadoctor
      Imnotadoctor SMM103

      Posted

      Same age as me! I've been using it for a year & doctor says it's helping. Keep positive I'm sure they will sort it out for you. 🙂
    • phyl_40063
      phyl_40063 SMM103

      Posted

      I asked my GP for Vagifem, after looking into it. Wish I'd know about it pre-op as it thickens the walls allowing repair to work better.

      Anyhow using it post op. Read somewhere that it helps if internally dry as is the walls after surgery!

      X☺

    • robyn94818
      robyn94818 phyl_40063

      Posted

      I can't imagine poking a plastic introducing probe up where the cream needs depositing while there are new fragile wounds & damaged tissues up there anyway. Imagine poking that plastic thing into a wound & bursting a stitch! I would think you couldn't start that cream until 6wks & only if post-op progress internal check has been had. It's no different to the shock reading on here that girls have been feeling around inside quite early on!!! No, no, no!!!
    • phyl_40063
      phyl_40063 robyn94818

      Posted

      I didn't start using it robyn till after my 12 week post op , using tablet form but you are right it is quite sensitive. Wounds are all healed by then and stitches should be dissolved, although deep tissues take longer so probably sensitivity from there!

      X

    • Lululucky
      Lululucky robyn94818

      Posted

      I'm doing it only three weeks post op. My consultant asked me to take oral antibiotics to avoid infection, but I didn't want it because I tend to develop thrush after. So he asked me to put vaginal cream with antibiotics. It's bloody scary to put that plastic tube in..I hate it so much, but I do think he's an excellent surgeon so I'm doing what he asked me to.
    • robyn94818
      robyn94818 Lululucky

      Posted

      I'm sure that is ok as you will be being very careful. I haven't heard of hormonal vag cream that has antibiotic in it? Or vag antibiotics other than thrush cream. Also don't think many Urogynae's give propylactic oral antibiotics either. I imagine from 6wks on it is pretty safe so long as somebody qualifed has checked inside to see it is all healed well enough. After all, clearance to have sex is often given at 6wk post-op if all healed sufficiently.
    • moira13817
      moira13817 robyn94818

      Posted

      I started back on Ovestan, using an applicator, at 3 weeks post op. to help with incontinence.  I found it only mildly uncomfortable but I don't push it far in and if I don't use it, my incontinence is worse.  I guess with everything  we weigh the pros and cons and I'd rather the small risk of infection than soaking through pads and trousers as I was.  (I am better now).
  • robyn94818
    robyn94818 SMM103

    Posted

    I was also told anterior repair first as can end up too tight having both done at same time. I was disappointed. Surgeon only told me that just before going into theatre. I think so much on here entirely depends on grades of prolapse and there can be so many other added problems before first surgery. Perineal repairs required also from traumatic childbirth, etc. I imagine there aren't very often 2 vag areas quite the same as the next. So comparing in detail here often misleads others unless we know the extent of the problems leading to surgery. I opted for bladder sling which to me makes pretty certain that bladder stays up where it should be. I thought long & hard about mesh controversy. Everything foreign put into our bodies has a small risk of rejection. My very experienced Urogynae assured me that nobody uses the dodgy mesh that caused problems few years ago. It was withdrawn from the market. I think he said the risk of complications is as low as 2% which Doctors would never 100% guarantee no risk of problems later. I'm 8mths post anterior repair with TOP (I think that's what it was called) sling & my pre-op problems well behind me.
    • terri5304
      terri5304 robyn94818

      Posted

      I too had the istop mesh reinforcement sling back in March and it's been a difficult recovery. I find it quite uncomfortable sometimes and have developed a further prolapse. Did you have difficulty in walking or sitting for too long?
    • robyn94818
      robyn94818 terri5304

      Posted

      No, none of those problems. Did you have just the anterior repair? Sorry that you are having probs. I have never been able to tell the sling is in there. Maybe there is some chance that it's not perfectly positioned. Hopefully yours isn't to do with the actual mesh. Our prolapses could have been quite different at outset.
    • terri5304
      terri5304 robyn94818

      Posted

      Yes had anterior repair along with reconstruction of vault and hernia repair. I feel the anterior repair has only partially worked as I have further prolapse and voiding issues once again!
    • SMM103
      SMM103 robyn94818

      Posted

      No, I never had that advice hindsight is a wonderful thing.  Glad you were able to make an informed decision.

      Not quite sure where your thread is going considering my original post? I must have missed some? 

      Im sure most on here consider that we are all different and don't compare on here in detail.  I personally have found it wonderful supportive resource and find it very useful to compare experiences.

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