Can't stop crying...feel like a burden and affecting my family
Posted , 8 users are following.
Does anyone feel numb as if a wet blanket over your brain? Or is this what depression feels like? I have never felt like this before in my life until reactivated EBV...it's spring..wanna clean, walk my dog, play with grandbabies, cook out on grill for my family, help my aging parents, get my hair done (scared of chemicals in color), put on makeup, enjoy a movie...this all seems so far out of reach..I have been going to my oldest daughter's often to be with her and grandbabies (we always were together a lot before I sick also) but the past few days I can tell im wearing on my daughter..I know me being sick has been so difficult on my entire family but now i need to leave my daughter alone for awhile as even my granddaughters are getting frustrated cause I can't play like they were used to (they all have been so sweet and supportive but no one expected I would be ill this long and things are changing now).. I've been crying all day uncontrollably..this has amplified my symtoms 10 fold and I'm angry with myself for doing this! Anyway, my days will now consist of being home and basically sitting and staring at all that needs done here...is it time to try an antidepressant?Does anyone have same experience? And anyone try antidepressant? This doesn't necessarily feel like depression but maybe it is? I wish i could come on here and be more positive! I've stayed off for a couple days as i knew I would be a downer like now..im thinking of you all and hoping you all are making improvements! Wishing you well..lecasco
0 likes, 46 replies
craig07920 Lecasco
Posted
Hi Lesaco,
Oh goodness you are going through such pain, I do know the feeling Lesaco have actually been like that myself lately due to my own circumstances. It's just the combination of everything that hits you and just becomes overwhelming, I totally understand. Not only having to deal with the awful symptoms on a daily basis, but as you say looking around you and seeing the things you want to do and enjoy doing and not being able to do them causes so much heartbreak, and also remembering how your life was before is so difficult - I've been going through that too lately and it's almost like a grieving for the way things have been before.
Lesaco, just want you to know I'm thinking about you and understand and it's totally understandable for you to feel this way. It's not your fault at all, carrying a burden like you have been is so much to bear, remember to be kind to yourself and understanding to yourself and don't beat yourself up - because you have been going through a tough time.
Having said what I said before about missing your old way of life, just remember there IS hope and there IS recovery from this thing Lesaco. It's very frightening and harrowing to go through these months of uncertainty and mentally coping with why and how and when and if you are going to feel better - but let me reassure you that YOU WILL GET BETTER. In NO WAY do these symptoms last forever, they may last some months yes which I know it's heartbreaking in itself, but then is it the NORM to go on and make a full recovery. It doesn't matter what age you are when you get it, your body has amazing powers of recovery and will fight this thing off given time.
I went through very similar emotions to you, it brought me so down too. I have been on anti-depressants for many years, they really can help Lesaco. I have been on Escitolopram (Cipralex) for most of my adult life, and they have helped me and kept me on an even keel. More recently I have also been on amitrypyline, which is very good for pain and getting a restful sleep at night. It's definitely worth considering and talking to the doctor about, and of course there is nothing to be feel bad about - I have lived a healthy and happy life most of the time on these tablets and sometimes it's a chemical imbalance which can be corrected and allow you to live more normally and feel more normal.
There is NOTHING to be sorry about in terms of not coming on feeling positive or anything - you have been through so much and it's totally understandable you're so tired and weary.
Reading or listening to some healing and encouraging Bible verses has also been a great comfort to me, especially at my lowest moments. A good decree to speak over yourself every day is 'Lord, I am healed in the name of Jesus of Nazareth! I than You that You sent Jesus to take my sins and sickness away on the cross. Lord, I am saved by the stripes of Jesus, I am healed. I will prosper and be in perfect health today even as my soul prospers.'
Even if you don't feel like it just saying that once a day even has amazing effects, it is true even when we can't see it that our healing is paid for. Also listening to some healing soothing verses too can be great, there's loads of short and longer videos on You Tube that I've found very helpful and relaxing in my hardest moments.
Thinking about you and remember YOU ARE going to get through this - 100% I believe you are. Sometimes when you feel so low it helps to have someone else believe it for you, so rest assured that I totally believe it for you even if it's hard to feel or see that yourself right now.
Take care and hang in there - remember it's okay to rest and accept that today things might not be perfect, but that this is a storm that will pass and things will get back to normal again with time.
Craig
brent_83487 Lecasco
Posted
craig07920 brent_83487
Posted
Craig
40with.gf. craig07920
Posted
Thanks Craig, you're awesome x
craig07920 40with.gf.
Posted
You're awesome too Caroline! Big hugs!! xx
Lecasco craig07920
Posted
God bless you Craig! I thank you so much for the encouragement and your Faith! I pray for your healing also! It's so incredible that through your own pain you continue to support so many! You're wonderful! Wishing you well! Lecasco
Lecasco brent_83487
Posted
Thank you Brent..I'm trying to hang in there..I'm sorry you're struggling too! Hopefully we can heal and move on from these challenging times..God bless
craig07920 Lecasco
Posted
Thanks so much Lesaco, your words of encouragement and prayers mean so much to me too as really need them right now also!! I can relate to the emotions you are going through and the feelings of fear and discouragement, it's awful and tiring and painful to go through this day after day and week after week.
Just grateful for such a forum of nice and kind people who have been supporting each other, I feel like a bit of a fraud on here as my glandular fever was many years ago but it was so painful at the time that I just know a forum like this would have helped me so much if I'd known about it or had access to it at the time.
Thinking of you and wishing you well too - just remember baby steps and don't look too far ahead for now, it's all you can do and take rest knowing God is going to take care of the outcome of this in a positive favour for you - I really believe that.
Craig