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Can't stop drinking

Posted , 33 users are following.

YLT
YLT

Hi. I've been drinking since I was 14. I'm now 39. For most of that time I've been a binge drinker. Often, like 2 or 3 times a month, drinking till I can't remember how I got home or what I was saying or doing. Now I drink most nights. Not loads every night but I do think about drinking  most days and look forward to the next time I can get melted.

Recently it's been affecting my relationship. My girlfriend has warned me that my drinking could be the end of our relationship. I love her more than anything but still I can't stop drinking. Sometimes I lie about what I've drunk or I hide empty bottles from her. I've  promised myself I'll cut down or I'll just have a couple instead of loads, but it never works.

I think it's now the time to stop all together but I'm not sure I can. I have a lot of good friends but socialising with them usually involves a night in the pub and I don't think I could do that without getting drunk.

I've also been trying to stop smoking for about 10 years and haven't really managed that either! I think I have an addictive personality and not sure what to try next. 

13 likes, 95 replies

95 Replies

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  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 YLT

    Posted

    As long as your alive there is hope!

    I hope you are able to sustain at the reception.

    That will bring your power back even stronger.

  • juanfo
    juanfo YLT

    Posted

    Hi bros. I have not had a drink for a week. Last night at midnight I had panic, jitters and paranoia. It all started after watching TV last night. I started to feel like somehow everything on the news was about me. After that I did not sleep all night from the fear. The panic and fear are out of control. Standing on the thin line that separates normal from insanity. Hanging on to my sanity by a thread. 
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 juanfo

      Posted

      Its only withdrawals...I don't say that lightly....because believe me I am TOO familiar with these symptoms....in another few days you should feel better.

      Can you take Melatonin where you are?  It not only helps sleep but also relaxes the mind.....it works well for me.

    • juanfo
      juanfo Misssy2

      Posted

      I don't know. I have to ask at the drugstore. I have to try to calm down but it's difficult at work with the boss not helping
  • juanfo
    juanfo YLT

    Posted

    I am easily not drinking. Feeling good. Feeling happy. The panic is gone. I expect it to return this weekend or the next. At first it is easy for me to stop drinking. Then as the days go by I forget the suffering. Then the craving and panic attacks eventually become unbearable. Counting the days just makes it worse. I have to let go. 
  • drpuneet95
    drpuneet95 YLT

    Posted

    Just believe first from your mind that it is possible to leave it.

    Then we will continue to next step,keep on drinking as you are but start condeming yourself after wards and start believing that you can leave it,were you drinking daily before 14 ,you were alive at that time too,many people who are not drinking daily are carrying on with life,just believe that it is possible to leave it.

  • sg1475
    sg1475 YLT

    Posted

    Hi there, i know just how you feel, i am 42 years old and have drunk on and off since 15.  I get addicted to anything, even down to having the same type of crisps each day with my drink.  I think some people do have more addictive personalities than others.  Have you tried any counselling or approaching AA, many people say its wonderful, i'm not good with groups of people so no good for me, i was looking into hypnotherapy and accupuncture, i'm ready to try anything as my willpower just isnt anywhere near enough and i have a four year old girl and don't want her to lose her mummy.  That should be reason enough but sadly not.  I would just concentrate on cutting back the drinking and then tackle the smoking when you feeling stronger because we know we will feel better for not drinking.  Good luck.
    • YLT
      YLT sg1475

      Posted

      Hi. I'm actually in a slightly better place now. Since my original post in, July 2014, I've only drank on 5 occasions and only twice did I get really really drunk. My last drink was 30 days ago and my intention is to never drink again.

      Things that helped me at the start were Jason Vale's 'kick the drink easily' book and a great blog by a New Zealand housewife trying to get sober. Just google 'Mrs D is going without'.

      I'm a Scottish guy surrounded by friends, family and colleagues who see drink as a must-have accompaniment for every occasion or mood, birthdays = drink, weddings = drink, Christmas, New Year, Easter, baby's being born, christenings, funerals, stress, happiness, sadness, boredom, the sun being out! Everything is an excuse for a drink.

      It takes a while but you can retrain your brain to realise it's just a useless crutch that actually adds nothing.

      Sobriety really is so much better than drinking in almost every way. Never having a hangover is also excellent too! As is having more money, better skin, nails, hair, brighter eyes and less anxiety and depression. Seriously, if I can do it then anyone can. Good luck.

  • juanfo
    juanfo YLT

    Posted

    Had a strange day yesterday. My 3 y/o got sick so I had to leave work early to take him to see the Doc. On the drive to the mil's house some songs on the radio triggered the urge to drink. First one was Aerosmith's sweet emotion. Second song was Slowride by Foghat. I had the responsible adult thing to do which was take care of a medical emergency but for some reason all I wanted to do was party. It's so weird how the addiction is attached to the self-destructive side of my personality.
    • sg1475
      sg1475 juanfo

      Posted

      Have you tried Alan Carrs giving up alchohol book, it is supposed to be very good and works like cognitive therapy and changes what we think we think when we want a drink. i'm going to give a go at the weekend.
  • Maple
    Maple YLT

    Posted

    I hope you and found the strength. I can't can't find mine. I'm so lost I'm not a binge drinker I'm a daily . I made it 10 days last month after rehab. But you know..... What's next?? How many more blackouts till I do something horrible. I fall a lot I only know this though from the bruises. Willing to take any advice or just support.

    34 and don't see 44 available for me.

    Thanks Maple

  • sunnyday11
    sunnyday11 YLT

    Posted

    I just sit at home bored and drink with my hubby! Used to run a bar.
  • troy83653
    troy83653 YLT

    Posted

    This was very moving.. Each one teaches one. I've been battling alcoholism for some time. It's really shaken up most of my adult life and part of younger years. I used to do it because it was thing and I wanted to be with the in crowd. Then out of nowhere I'm not sure when it became addicting. I'm in the same boat with a woman that loves me. So much we got married, but my sickness has put our bond in serious jeopardy. I've never gotten to know my true self. If I'm not comfortable with my own company why would anyone else be? So reading what you said is definitely insightful and I want to thank you. A day at a time and if my heart and mind, body and soul are into it like they're supposed to be, there's nothing we can't change. I feel like I'm having an epiphany. Thanks for your humbling words.
  • cheri94608
    cheri94608 YLT

    Posted

    I get that you have a habit. A couple or 3 of actually that you have confessed to here. I have an eating habits so I do understand the hold they have.

    I am married to an alcoholic for 11 years now. We've lived apart from each other more than together. My therapist says I'm optimistic. Not certain if it's because I've been married 5 times or because I've been with my present husband for so long.

    Today I am sitting in my car outside of my home not wanting to go inside. It's lonely in there without him. I went out early this morning to return his phone that he left at my house Friday following an all too familiar game ( I say in gest) of Me: I know you've been drinking Him: no I have not Me: I can tell when you've been drinking Him: I've not drank anything and I'm proud of myself.

    Ding, ding, ding I'm convinced.

    2 days of fretting and I can't bare it any longer. I know where he is and he's not answering the phone. Has he died from alcohol poisoning? Has he aspirated on his own vomit? It crushes me, the sadness of him dying in a less than desirable motel where the depressed go to get away, all alone.

    I don't want him to die but more than that I don't want him to die alone. It just seems so sad.

    I knock, no answer, the door is unlocked. Afraid of what I may find I open the door anyway. There he lies sprawled over the bed. A partially eaten food tray, ano empty pack of cigarettes and an empty 1/2 gallon liquor bottle. He's alive. More coherent than I expected but pretty dazed and confused as to what I am doing there. My heart relaxes a bit knowing he is alive.

    But as I sit out here in my car my heart aches horribly now as I sit here knowing I can't keep doing this.

    If you have the " I would die for you" love for someone that is noble but if you truly love someone do what it takes to live for them.

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