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Can't stop thinking about my anxiety!!

Posted , 15 users are following.

kaseydawn
kaseydawn

Hi my name is Kasey this is my first time on any kind of forum So I thought I'd give it a go. Ive recently just turned 18 and basically I'm going through severe anxiety and depression and I'm so exhausted. I can't catch a break from the vicious cycle of continuous anxious thoughts running through my head 24/7. no matter what i do I'm thinking about my anxiety and anything related. After my severe panic attack on Wednesday night due to a bad trip on mariguana I went to my doctor the next day because It was too much for me. She's put me back on Xanax (temporarily) meanwhile trialling fluoxetine another few weeks to see if my anxiety improves otherwise il be trying out a new medication. The whole process is just so stressful because I feel like my whole life is on hold. All I want is my life back. I hope I start to feel better soon because this anxiety and depression is too overwhelming for me. I wouldn't ever dream of ending my life but how I feel right now, I don't want to live like this.. It's too much for me. Everytime it occurs it feels like il be permanently stuck this way forever. This will be my third time my mind has been stuck in the thought pattern of 'I can't stop thinking about anxiety' and the last two times it only lasted about a week or two until I got bored of the thought and longer was afraid of it which I also know its key to getting through it but it's so tough. I'm just so sick of feeling this way and I'm becoming self destructive because of it. I just don't know what to do anymore I want my life back sad

2 likes, 30 replies

30 Replies

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  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 kaseydawn

    Posted

    You had anxiety and still took illicit drugs? Thats a downright crazy thing to do
    • kaseydawn
      kaseydawn jmcg2014

      Posted

      Basically my anxiety is very on and off I can feel completely myself, then something can trigger it and il go 100 steps back. Up until Wednesday I was starting to feel pretty good and I had even smoked some mariguana the week before and it completely relaxed me. I smoked way to much for my body to handle however on Wednesday which lead to a very bad panic attack. I know now that drugs don't agree with me and I definitely will be staying away from them!
  • claire53364
    claire53364 kaseydawn

    Posted

    i have to agree  taking  drugs will not help u at all   been there done that  if anything it will make u worse, i stopped  all my   prescribed  meds and i deal  with my anxiety myself yes its hard  sometimes i take  diazepam  but not often   
    • kaseydawn
      kaseydawn claire53364

      Posted

      I know it's really not worth risking it and I'm staying clear from any drugs or alcohol. for now I think I should probably stay on my medication because last time I felt this exact way I was able to wean myself off the medication and take as needed. Although that was only when I felt 100% and Im definitely not there yet.
  • alan14850
    alan14850 kaseydawn

    Posted

    Can you tell me what ur childhood was like .was it happy or was you sad .was you well behaved or dod you go off the rails .are ur parents happy .did you get bullied .or did you have stress through exams .
    • kaseydawn
      kaseydawn alan14850

      Posted

      From ever since I can remember I've always been quite an anxious person. Throughout childhood to now. I mainly had attachment issues from leaving my mum this occurred in kindergarten, I remember my mum would stay most days with me and I hated when she was gone. When I started at school I had no problems when my mum left and I was completely fine up until year 3. (I live in New Zealand not sure what grade that would of been, I was around 7). But basically I was placed in a class with none of my friends and I was bullied throughout that year. When my mum dropped me off in the mornings I would cry for hours to the point where I had to sit in the reading corner and my teacher would try calm me down. The next few years seemed to be fine though and I didn't have any attachment issues nor did any bullying occur. I would say I was doing just fine until middle school where I had watched a scary movie and had terrible anxiety from it. I think I was around 12? I had night terrors and I was struggling sleeping in my own bed (I had slept with my mum in her bed until I was 12) this was the first time I went to a councillor and after 12 weeks I was completely fine I had no troubles sleeping and I was happy to sleep on my own. My anxiety didn't come around until I was in my second to last year at high school so I would of been 16. At the time I had become vegan and so my iron levels were very low and it was making me very fatigue and at the same time I was receiving a lot of online hate on the site called 'ask fm' where you can receive questions from anonymous people. As a result my anxiety became bad again and this resulted in depersonalisation. I went to a phycologist who put me on iron tonic and it suggested I eat fish as a form of protein and it worked perfectly and I was back to my self again. I believe I was doing very well up until July last year where I drank a lot of alcohol and smoked a lot of weed at a party with my bf and I had a very bad trip! I recovered just fine up until about 2 weeks later where I had a panic attack because I felt really behind on school and became overwhelmed. This caused my anxiety to come back aswell as depersonalisation aswell feeling like I couldn't stop thinking about the idea of anxiety.. I became very depressed and couldn't go to school for a week or two because it gotten so bad. I started to see a psychiatrist who prescribed me to fluoxetine aswell as diazepam. I was feeling good again minus the occasional panic attacks but pretty much returned to myself. I stopped taking my medication around December last year and I was fine up until about a month and a half ago where my anxiety got bad again I'm not really sure why. I think it was mainly feeling like my life wasn't really going anywhere and feeling lost in the world.. I decided to have a break year this year I'm working part time until I decide what I might want to study next year but thinking about my future ect stresses me out so much I kind of avoid it. So basically I started back on fluoxetine (my dosage is doubled) I'm coming up to my 5th week now and I was starting to feel a bit better up until Wednesday of course due to my bad trip on weed. I don't know know what to say really.. I believe there is always a trigger for my anxiety but it's frustrating because each time it occurs it feels like it's getting worse
  • hannah53
    hannah53 kaseydawn

    Posted

    Have you tried differebtvtypes of meditstion? Since I started 6 months ago I e felt a lot better in my mind for doing thus everyday. Just finding ways to breath and relax help no end. Also natural remedies, I use lavender oils sbdbtjibgs in the bath, you'll be surprised how much these things help.
    • kaseydawn
      kaseydawn hannah53

      Posted

      It doesn't last long enough for me to have try different methods but I'm open to anything. I take iron and magnesium tablets I'm not sure if they would really help? Could you suggest anything else?
  • vijay50750
    vijay50750 kaseydawn

    Posted

    Dear Kasey,

    Chin up, You have been strong to discuss this.

    Say you have a wound that you happened to get when you fell down.

    You keep picking on the wound with a tooth pick, How long do you think it is going to take the wound to heal? Probably forever?.... 

    Same with the anxiety. It is like an old wound, the more you think about it, the painful it is and the more you remain.

    First steps:-

    Do not take Illegal drugs. They cause more anxiety and Worry.

    Schedule time... Very Important step...

    Do this in such a way that your day is divided into 3rds or quarters... ie 8 hour periods or 6 hour periods.

    8 hour periods:-

    1st 8 hours- preferably early day to afternoon:- scheduled for Early morning  Exercise, Breakfast and Beginning College/ Hobbies/ Volunteering( Depends What you do in the day, whether you are in College or Working.)...

    2nd 8 hours- Preferably early afternoon to Night:- Lunch with friends, Afternoon College/ Movie on T.V., Making dinner, Prayer( If you pray)

    3 rd 8 hours - Rest including Sleep.

    During the day, Keep one hour, preferably in the 2nd Period for Anxiety. Call it the Anxiety hour and schedule your anxiety for that, Whenever the anxious thoughts come up remember to schedule it for anxiety hour. But remember, this Anxiety hour Schedule moves up 1 hour every day, ie... If you scheduled it for 6 pm today, it should be scheduled for 7 pm tomorrow, 8 pm day after, 9 pm after that, 10 pm the next day etc.

    That way after a few days, the anxiety hour goes into your rest and sleeping period, so you would be asleep when that hour passes.

    the anxiety hour lasts for 1 hour only and during this time, I do not ask you to think about anxiety, But rather focus on the Positive things in your life, Anything positive. Anything, even if it was a beautiful flower you saw in a shop, or maybe a great coloured car, or a funny scene of a movie.

    Even a Beautiful scent that you liked....

    Anxiety hour does not mean that you should think of your anxious thoughts.

    It is for you to tell your mind to re schedule the anxiety for that hour, especially if you keep getting the anxiety thoughts during the day.

    Schedule another hour called the Relaxation hour... It can be your anxiety hour as well, but this relaxation hour is kept anytime that you are awake.

    During this hour or even The anxiety hour (if it comes during an awake time) I want you to give 20 minutes to Breathe fully.

    20 minutes.... no Disturbance.... No distraction...... Your body on the bed... or on the mat... or wherever comfortable.... Limp... not moving.... and slowly breathe through your nose..... letting the air get pushed to your abdomen (Not the chest).... 5 seconds to breathe in 2 seconds pause...... 5 seconds to breathe out.... 3 seconds pause.... do this continously for 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 5 mines more, every passing day so you increase it to 20 -25 minutes a day.

    There is an amazing program called STOP PANIC on the Google Play website which has an audio relaxation module. it helps a Lot.

    Visualizing your Positive thoughts during this period helps as well.

    You have a Friend in me.

    Take care... Chin Up you can do it.

     

    • kaseydawn
      kaseydawn vijay50750

      Posted

      Really appreciate this response, thank you so much! I'm open to anything and I like the idea of the anxiety hour. I have used a similar technique in the past however in this duration of time is to think about all your worries in a 20-30min time frame. The idea is to think about every anxiety in every aspect until you are bored of the topic, then return to the rest of your day. The only problem I have with trying to think about positive things is that my mind will resist it and il get really frustrated! I just kind of let my mind think what it must think I try not to dwell on it or let it affect me. Usually after about a month or so I have returned to a more normal thinking pattern. I think this is mainly because i don't fear the thoughts any more I come to accept them and they drift in time.

      I do practice breathing in 1,2 and 3 then exhaling out 1,2 3. This does help me when I'm experiencing a panic attack but in general I don't really practice this technique on a daily basis. Maybe I could try it, il give it a go anyway.

      Thank you! Really appreciate this and best wishes too you. (:

    • alexandra_jorda
      alexandra_jorda vijay50750

      Posted

      This is brilliant! My therapist also prescribes me special times to have anxiety. I have not tried it yet because I love distracting myself from anxious thoughts. But I think this is great advice!
  • joyce46400
    joyce46400 kaseydawn

    Posted

    Dear Kasey

    I am not normally on this site but I am just dealing with anxiety that has popped up again and I could not understand it.  I have no words of wisdom for you but I honestly believe exercise, deep breathing to get through attacks and eating a good diet helps.  Please please stay of drugs it honestly does not help in any matter in life you need to look to something else for relaxing,  Drugs just lead to problems further down the line when you meet the person you want to settle down with and start a family, if that is what you want.  Take care andI know you and I can do it. x

    • kaseydawn
      kaseydawn joyce46400

      Posted

      Thanks for your response! I agree that maintaining a healthy lifestyle is also key for overcoming anxiety, my family and doctor tell me this constantly. I'm finding it really hard however because I'm feeling so mentally weak I feel physically weak similtaniously. I basically don't eat when Im feeling this way, mainly because I don't feel like eating. This which of course makes me very nostalgic and fatigue. And then I don't feel like exercising because of how I'm feeling and it's so stressful. I'm hoping to feel more like myself when soon so I can begin a more healthier life style. I don't plan on going near any drugs for a long time (hopefully never). I realise now that they simply don't agree with me and that's fine I can't live with that. I wish you only happiness for you and all the best. We will find peace within ourselves and we will come out of this so much stronger. Good luck on your journey smile xx
    • chick30548
      chick30548 kaseydawn

      Posted

      i understand that was probably not to me lol... but you are nothing but rite. we will only become stronger from these things.... cool we just gotta stay cool and do our thing
  • felicia38700
    felicia38700 kaseydawn

    Posted

    Hi I'm Felicia and I'm 17 and Im going through what you are I thought I was reading my post I also had big panic attack while I was smoking weed it was a very bad trip it sucks because i never used to freak out I feel sick 24/7 I have so many crazy symptoms and I'm so depressed and no one takes me serious but I guess we just have to try to get through it with positive thoughts even though it's so damn hard I just want you to know that you're not alone and I hope you get better and I'll pray for you: )
    • kaseydawn
      kaseydawn felicia38700

      Posted

      Thanks so much for this! I feel so much better when I know there's others out there going through this with me because sometimes I feel so alone and like I'm the only one experiencing it. The truth to it is that there's millions of people that are going through this with us, and another million that have been through this and come out the other side perfectly fine! I think most importantly minds like ours can't handle the power of drugs as we are wired differently to others that can. One thing I've learned through taking drugs for me is that it's kind of like gambling, sometimes you have the best trip! Then other times you have an awful trip. In the end however you end up with all the stresses and anxieties that follow> likewise gambling you loose all your money. I guess it really is up to us to take that risk. I for one don't think it's worth it! My advice is to stay away from drugs and alcohol (unless you feel 100%). Even then though is it worth it?

      I defiantly hope that you can find a person who supports you with this because it is a serious issue. Perhaps talk to your mum? Sisters? Friends? Anyone close really! That extra support can do so much for you! You have my support of course. I could only recomend therapy though it is your choice, it can also help a lot. Maybe you could even see your GP and be 100% honest about how you're feeling and he/she may prescribe medication.

      Anyway all the best for you! We can do this! Xx

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