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Can't take another day of it

Posted , 12 users are following.

Jen09
Jen09

My depression and anxiety has really taken over my life to the point where I can't even remember what it was like before it all started. Every day I wake up dreading the day. It's been going on for 3 months now with slightly ok times in between. I just feel completely stuck and helpless it's stopping me from living each day I feel as though I'm just trying survive I just can't live like this any more sad sorry for such a negative post I'm just loosing the will to fight 

3 likes, 33 replies

33 Replies

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  • alexander_39124
    alexander_39124 Jen09

    Posted

    Depression is a nightmare but they say it can be controlled,you must seek help first then try and join up with certain discussion groups, hypnotherapy may also help also Reki class can also help people.

    You also have to believe in yourself,start some new hobbies that involved meeting other people,all is not lost.

    I suffer with chronic nightmare's every night for over yrs now and i am back to another GP thats going to look into my nightmare,mine comes from the subconscious mind and i am trying to find the switch i lost a business and had work cover injuries etc.

    You will get there,best wishes Alexander.

    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 alexander_39124

      Posted

      Reiki is a good idea. But going to lots of groups is not. It takes up all of your time and the other people drag you down. But the worst part of it is that it becomes your lifestyle of choice. Instead of being a wife or girlfriend or mother or sister or friend you become the depressed person who thinks about and talks about nothing else - boring everyone else to tears and ruining all of your relationships. A lot of people with depression could have got better but prefer to keep feeling sdorry for themselves and thinking about those negatives rather than start to lead a happy normal life - because that means becoming a wife or daughter again and having some sort of responsibility towards other people for a change instead of just seeing comfortt. It is a bit like drinking and drinking to keep getting drunk because when you are sober you have to be grown up.
  • Blaqk
    Blaqk Jen09

    Posted

    Hi 

    I know how you feel, I have had severe depression for nearly 10 years and in that time i've felt every level of low and done just about everything including drinking and drug use to make it go away. In the end you have to find something in your life to cling onto,which sounds easier that it is, but it may well be you already have something or someone and your depression doesn't let you realise. My mum is very sick so I love for her and hope to fix myself in the meantime. The fact that you're willing to talk about it, even to strangers, shows a level of understanding and progression. Sometimes it really is all too much and that's when you have to hand this over to someone else, no matter how hard it may be, your GP or a friend or a family member and let them help you make all the right choices. I didn't tell anyone until this year and it's a lot harder the longer you leave it, and it makes it harder for them to help you. Is there something in particular that started this or is it a culmination of things? Hope this helps, you are not alone and you can win it is nowhere near too late. I hope to hear from you x Amber

    • Jen09
      Jen09 Blaqk

      Posted

      Sorry to hear about your situation, I wish your mum well, the thing I'm clinging on to at the moment is just hope because even if you can't find anything else hope still exists and you are worthy of enjoying the rest if your life x 
    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 Blaqk

      Posted

      Alcohol is a quick fix but causes depression. It depletes your magnesium and gives you hangover headaches too then. When people say they are depressed is this true or are they unhappy? Very different. Most of the cases presented to me by so called depressed people are really unhappy people, they are not ill. Talking about it does not prove the person wants to get better or understandsd it, a lot of them talk about it but that is all they do, just talk and talk and talk and seek sympathy, and then they get addicted to thinking they are the depressed person seeking sympathy instead of the unhappy person finding ways to improve their life. Why would a family member need to make your decisions for you? Being depressed or unhappy should not stop you from being able to think rationally and logically and intelligently.
  • Jen09
    Jen09

    Posted

    Thankyou so much for all your replys, I decided to change my attitude today so after my very very bad morning I decided I was going to fight it, I did not have one more crying break down for the rest of the day I still felt very bad though but I pushed through it, I'm normally okish in the evening but because I've kept the anxiety pent up all day I have woken up with terrible anxiety my arms and legs are tingling and my chest is very tight. I do not think my medication (20mg citolopram is helping my anxiety) I now know that my anxiety had caused the depression and not the other way round... I really appreciate this forum as I am very new to all this and you guys help me I understand it more and know I am not alone

    Jen x  

    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 Jen09

      Posted

      Lots of medications cause depression and/or anxiety.
  • Jen09
    Jen09

    Posted

    P.s. I had a strong coffee and two diet cokes today so... Caffeine and anxiety do not mix well! 
  • hypercat
    hypercat Jen09

    Posted

    Sometimes Jen all you can do is survive,  just grit your teeth and get on with it.  I did that many a time at work just getting through the day best I could and when you get home think - I did it and managed to do my job without making a complete tit of myself smile  .  There is a certain satisfaction in that and pride as well.  

    Maybe the best thing is not to fight so hard just go with the flow and concentrate on whats what and taking care of business.  Then reward yourself for doing so well - a nice hot bath,  out with friends,  read a book etc.  I think stoicism is the secret of life - just enduring what you can't change but do change what you can.  Does this make any sense?  xx

    • carmel83758
      carmel83758 hypercat

      Posted

      You make a lot of sense, but I can see you are a lot more sensible, down to earth, realististic, mature and proactive than a lot of people. YOu would have made a great therapist. But someone with real depression (not just someone sayign they are depressed becauuse they are bored or unhappy) is often too physically ill with depression to go to work or go out with friends.
    • hypercat
      hypercat carmel83758

      Posted

      I'm not really talking about major depression here carmel.  I accept if it is that bad then work and socialising is impossible.   But I have struggled through mild and moderate depression using these methods.  When it did last get really bad I took time off work and was sacked for it!  

      Thank you for your kind words though.  I have struggled with depression for most of my life so am used to finding ways to deal with it and enduring and coping as best I can.

      I think there is a world of difference between being bored and unhappy and proper depression and I think most on the site have depression.     

    • Jen09
      Jen09 hypercat

      Posted

      Yes the trouble is my depression is very severe at the moment perhaps when the depression was more mild in the past I could have a more positive attitude and keep myself busy, but right now all I can do is just watch a film or tv and try my best to focus on it, I'm going back to my go this afternoon 
    • hypercat
      hypercat Jen09

      Posted

      Good luck with that Jen.  I really hope you start to feel better soon.  Take care.  x
  • Allycats
    Allycats Jen09

    Posted

    I know the feeling, like you're sitting on the moon and the worlds turning without you. You have to force yourself to get out of the house. Try jogging, and if you haven't done it before don't expect to have great stamina, but persevere. Re-engage. Look up mindfulness, it's a really useful tool. Meditation also, focus on your breathing, count each breath. Try doing this for 5 minutes to begin with, extend the amount of time when you feel able to. Baths are a good way of relaxing/relieving muscular tension. Literally you just have to fight the lack of motivation. Force yourself, you only live once. If the problem persists consult your doctor, deppression can be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, or medical problems like a problem with your thyroid gland-in which case blood tests would reveal that issue. A good way of coping is consulting professionals if you feel you have noone to talk to you. Open up to someone you trust like a close family member. You're not alone and remember that, there are many people going through similar situations that you can talk to. Sorry if I've flooded you a bit, I realise this response is a bit wordy.
  • louisthin
    louisthin Jen09

    Posted

    Hi Jen,

    I know roughly how you are feeling, I'm sure it's different for everyone. 

    I don't think carmel83758 has suffered a single day of depression is their life, and if they are a therapist, they seem to be a bad one!

    You haven't said anything about over-burdening those around you, and because it has only been three months for you a change of location to get you back on track may be just the thing. You say your work made you stressed, this may be the only issue, moving on to antidepressants may be the wrong move. It was I think for me. I am no expert, but I did what you are trying to do. I did it alone, I took antidepressants, I had one on one therapy over the phone (so your group sessions should be better).  I think mine was more of a nervous breakdown and a few days of having Valium so I could relax and stop panicking would have been better. Mine was work related stress too, and I still have managed to keep my business running, but with a reduced number of customers,I am still stressed and now cannot get myself off antidepressants. They didn't do much, and when I have tried to stop them, it is worse than before I started. Before I started I was going to jump off the local bridge, and couldn't concentrate on even a tv program without rewinding it over and over, because I couldn't stop thinking and panicking all the time. So to be worse trying to get off the tablets is pretty bad. I think sometimes a change of scene, some CBT, and maybe just straight forward therapy, before leaping back into your life might be better.  The CBT will give you goals etc. and ways to cope to move forward.  

    Anyway, just my opinion, if I could go back and do it again, I would try that. Just a small amount of Valium (addictive but I haven't developed a problem (and antidepressants are far more addictive)), to allow me to take a breath, some family comforts, different surroundings to regain my feet! Maybe, just maybe, over a year down the line I wouldn't still be in a similar place. So much lost time! 

    I hope your therapy goes well, no idea if what I've said is helpful. Please let us know how you're getting on. 

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