Can we have patient modesty ?

it’s not the medical community’s fault that men are dying at an early age because they don’t get the medical help they need! It’s because THEY CHOOSE to be BIG BABIES and not to seek out the medical attention they need because they don’t want a woman see their PRIVATES! What a joke!

Peggy,

?You can see an article about how you can have maximum modesty for colonoscopy by going to http://patientmodesty.org/colonoscopymodesty.aspx.

?Misty 

Hi; colonoscopy shorts, in UK, are ghastly paper type material, loose fitting with a large flap at the back to give access to your bottom. I had the procedure without any anaesthetics because it is not painful and safer to do when you are alert. the problem is, for men, certain round parts of their anatomy migrate into the legs of the shorts and when you are asked to roll over these get trapped with excruciating pain. If I have another colonoscopy I will ask to give hem a miss, after all you can't get more personal than shoving 4 foot of hose up your rear, so a possible view of the rear of your scrotum is hardly earth shattering. Having had a number of these procedures including cystoscopies (with 3 women present and watching) I have no dignity left.

"The healthcare system here in the states doesn't care about male modesty"

That is true because that is not what they are there for.  I am very grateful to the people who take care of my body, regardless of their gender.

Did you ever go thru with the procedure? Were you able to get male nurses?

Regards,

Raffie

There's no modesty in the prostate wards. The only male I encountered was my doctor. Didn't consider it a problem except for one nurse who thought my johnson was a rubber band.

Bob:

American Urologists offices & urology departments in the hospitals are places where men are humiliated the most.

Through the years, our society and the medical community has viewed women as being meek and mild mannered. Someone who should be sheltered and cared for with kid gloves.

At the same time society and the healthcare community have viewed men as strong, heartless, emotionless warriors. Our healthcare community expects their male patient’s to hand their respect and dignity over at the door and then put up, shut up, and take anything the medical community throws their way.

Men today are strong, full of heart and have emotions.

In reality, he’s a puppy dog at heart. Because of the way society views the male gender, today’s man just chooses not to show their emotions in public or especially in a medical setting out of fear of being branded weak or a sissy.

Most male patients today are looked upon as “objects” rather than human beings. It's this insensitivity towards a male’s dignity and privacy that is running rampant through our healthcare system today which in turn is causing more and more men to suffer in silence over the injustices the medical community has and continues to lay upon them.

 Currently, a man’s only alternative to being psychologically demeaned and humiliated by the medical community is to walk away from healthcare all together and die an early death much to the devastation of their loved ones.

The only way this injustice will stop is if all men put aside their fear of feeling weak and/or inadequate when dealing with these people & just tell them women are afforded same gender care, you want same gender care also if that is what you really want.

Healthcare has used society's view of the male gender against men long enough. It's time for it to STOP.

The way it stops is men start talking and JUST SAY NO FEMALES.

It will not be easy but the sooner you start the easier it will get and the more men that say enough is enough, will cause the medical community to have to listen to all men and make changes to give men CPR. Choice, Privacy, and Respect.

I heard there's even a twitter link now pushing patient modesty.

It's time for healthcare to start listening!

Regards,

Raffie

Hi Raffie. I actually prefer females because with a few exceptions of course they are generally more gentle than males, and if there is one place you want gentleness it is for your penis after prostate surgery.

I have never felt any sense of embarrasment or shame being naked in front of any woman for any reason. Maybe it's because I was raised by my mother and aunt who gave me baths and wiped my bum before I was old enough to do it myself. In the military we had to move our bowels sitting on toilet bowls against the wall with no partitions, while other guys shined their shoes sitting between our legs, as there were no other lights in the barracks except in the latrines. Once again, I prefer to be treated by females whenever possible. Modesty is not part of my psychology.

Hi Donald:

I'm thinking of trying something with a seamstress I know.

Take a v-neck t-shirt. Cut the outside of each shoulder & sew in a velcro strip on each one to hold it close. That way they can run an IV line without an issue.

Next go down one side of the t-shirt & slice it open. Sew in velcro strips again to secure it closed. That would give personnel complete access to the chest area if needed.

Next take a pair of pajama bottoms or sweats & snip down the outside of the leg past the groin. Sew in velcro tabs to close.

That would give the patient the privacy they deserve while at the same time not hindering any medical personnel from doing their jobs.

Besides speaking up against a rigged system, we need to do whatever we can to protect our dignity because those of us that have had to deal with the system know, they aren't gonna help us.

Regards,

Raffie

Hi Don:

Hospital urology depts. have to change. The only way that will happen is when men that want their dignity & privacy protected get past the fear of seeming to look weak & stand strong and speak up.

Speaking up when you're in that situation I know is very hard but for the good of all men they need to do it. It gets easier with each NO.

I know some gentlemen that have walked away from PCa treatments simply due to the way the staff treated them. The staff being all young females.

Urology depts. will not get a passing grade from many men until they get the message & replace some of the females with males so there is a balance so those that want same gender care can get it.

The least they should do for those getting opposite gender care is schedule the patient with the same staff all the time.

Regards,

Raffie

Hi Peggy:

She's comfortable being intimately exposed to her gynecologist. He knows no nurse or scribe.

Men only want the same thing the medical community has been giving women for years.

Choice. The ability to ask for and receive same gender care for any intimate related medical issues without always being questioned about it.

Privacy. Men want their privacy protected like a healthcare worker would protect their own privacy if they were a patient. Female nurses freely admit they are the “King of the gossipers.” Patient interactions should be kept between the patient and the caregiver. Not the whole medical floor or hospital. Every time a caregiver talks about a patient interaction, they are ruining their own reputation and further destroying the patient/provider relationship.

Respect. Finally, respect isn’t given, it’s earned and men earned the right long ago to have their dignity respected the same way the healthcare community freely respects a women’s. The medical community needs training apparently on just how to better respect their male patients.

There are men and women who are comfortable being intimately exposed to the opposite gender in a medical scenario. By the same token, there are also men and women who for many different reasons may not be comfortable being intimately exposed to the opposite gender in a medical scenario.

The healthcare industry chose to address women’s concerns but completely ignored men. That is what has to and will change.

When a woman goes in to have her annual mammogram she won’t have a male x-ray technician giving her the test. When she goes to have her baby, her delivery room will be staffed with only female personnel if she so chooses.

She has CHOICES.

Something men are not given.

A man goes in for anything urological related and 99% of the people he comes in contact with and intimately exposed to will be female. This is unacceptable to some men. A man has the same right to same gender care as a woman does.

It’s this lack of respect for male patients that is causing them to walk away from needed healthcare.

Here are two of many examples of how the healthcare system treats its male patients.

[b]https://edition.cnn.com/2017/09/15/health/upmc-denver-patient-genitals/index[b].html

Our healthcare system is trading men’s lives for dollars and nobody (including the families of guys who walk away), seems to care.

The healthcare system is broken but together we can rebuild it into a world class system the country can be proud of.

Regards,

Raffie

Hi, I have to agree. I have no problem with female health staff, or medical students but I must be ASKED. When the female urology consultant just walked in and pulled off my modesty sheet, she said nothing, the two nurses present all had a good gawp.

The point is, she should have told me what she wanted to do and ASK my permission to remove the sheet. She should have introduced the other two females and explained why they were in the room and ASKED me if I was comfortable with this.

Before she grabbed hold of my penis, she should have told me what she was going to do and ASK permission. Did the other two women, dressed as nurses, have to stand and watch, they seemed to play no part in the procedure so need not have been there.

If the consultant wanted a chaperone she should have ASKED if it was OK and check on gender choices.

I am not shy by any means, and not too worried about the gender of staff as long as they are the best, but for a week I felt humiliated and abused - maybe silly, but that's how I felt.

Hello PaWiSu.

I'm sorry you had a bad week. It shouldn't have happened.

The one area I take issue with female healthcare staff is when the exam, test, or procedure is male specific and/or of an intimate nature. When those issues are in play, I and I alone, will control the entire interaction between patient and provider for the entire time I'm there. If not, I will leave. I refuse to be disrespected and/or humiliated by the American healthcare system anymore. They've done enough damage to men who they were entrusted to care for.

When your consultant walked in, the first thing she should have done was introduced herself, explained why she was there, and introduced her two colleagues to you along with their title if any and explain why they were there.

Next, she should have asked you, are you okay with their presence in the room. If you answer no, then she should have escorted them out.

The healthcare system wrongly ASSumes that ALL men are comfortable and will go along with ANYTHING they choose to do to them. It's their ASSuming, as to why men that want their dignity respected and their privacy protected must take a stand against the system & just stop things before they get started & say NO, for this type of exam, test, or procedure, I want a male.

In your situation, she as most female healthcare workers do, ASSumed since you're male, you'd have no issue with her just removing your modesty sheet with others around to look and gawk at you so that's what she did. She did their shock and awe routine. Expose and humiliate the patient in front of others so as to make them too shocked to say anything.

What she should have done was, after the others left the room, explain to you what the doctor ordered. Then tell you EXACTLY who does it, what was to be done, and how.

Afterwards, she should ask you if you have any questions about anything so far.

After ALL of your questions are answered, she should have then told you she has to remove your modesty sheet now to continue. Then ASK your permission to remove it?

This way, the patient has one more chance to stop things before they get started if they are uncomfortable in any way.

If you choose to proceed, when it's over she should thank you and allow you to cleanup and get dressed as possible, in private.

The system needs to be made to understand that men are people too not just objects. We have the same right as women to have our dignity respected and privacy protected during ever interaction with healthcare personnel.

Their problem is they think that just being polite to a patient is equivalent to respecting a patient's dignity. They still refuse to acknowledge that healthcare is not gender neutral. Their definition of dignity does not include what the patient thinks and that must change.

I would also say that part of their gender neutral slogan is that there is nothing sexual about healthcare, yet have you ever noticed just how much effort they put into keeping men away from female specific healthcare areas? If there really was nothing sexual about healthcare, why do they go to such lengths to protect women?

The way we make the system change is keep SPEAKING UP, get past your fear of its a medical situation, and do what you do best. Take control of the situation from the start so they know they will be respecting your dignity and protecting your privacy from intake to discharge.

We have to speak up if we want the system to change and balance the gender scales. If we don't, we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Regards,

Raffie