Cfs/me Why do I feel so needy

Hi, I'm not surprised that you have lost some confidence. You have a debilitating illness which, by it's nature, makes you feel weak and vulnerable. This affects every aspect of your life. You can gradually regain your confidence by focusing on what CAN do rather than focusing on what you can't do. Hope this helps.

 

This is a really difficult one.  You say that your husband reassures you all the time but you still feel needy and insecure.  Feling needy is totally understandable.  We are vulnerable while we are struggling with this illness.  But maybe feeling insecure and unwanted isn't necessarily normal.   One thing I have had to learn is to trust my feelings.  For many years my husband kept his true feelings about my health to himself for fear of hurting me; not realizing that these feelings were actually manifesting themselves in a thousand little ways which made me feel judged, unwanted, unvalued etc. One day I asked him to be totally honest about his feelings and was pretty shocked to hear what he had been attempting to hide for so long. That's been hard to deal with but at least you can deal with the truth much more effectively than half or even untruths however well intended.  Of course this may not be relevant for your situation at all.  However I have found that starting conversations by saying something like I'd understand if things were difficult for my husband for example just so he knew that it was ok to open up about the problems.  All the best and I hope you feel better about yourself soon.  Counselling has also been a great help to me with feeling better about myself despite my limitations. There are a lot of great resources out there that are worth checking out.  This condition is bad enough in itself and we need to be convinced that we are of value despite it. 

Hi..

I have to say its a common problem, mainly i think because of how the illness destroys the person you are. You turn into something you dont recognise and neither do the people around you. I started with this condition 22years ago and quickly went from a happy supper health person into a gibbering wreck that struggled to do anything and even put 2 words together, so its no wonder we have no confidence really is it.  

I have done a lot of research on my journey and found that due to how it acts on your nervous system, it causes anxiety and stress, thats part of the illness and couple that with the cognitive deficits you also get your personality does degenerate somewhat sadly.  Its all part of the disease ... so being needy in not so much you, but rather what this condition has turned you into.

Dealing with family who dont understand makes the situation so much worse, its amazing to think family dont know you at all.I think we have to stick with the people who do empathise with us and leave the others to be ignorant. My sons are working and will probably move out soon cant imagine how it will be without them as they are the few people who see me day in day out struggling.Yes its good you have your children to keep you going, although must be difficult if they are young.