1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Alcohol Consumption

Checking in again......

Posted , 11 users are following.

sue2016
sue2016

My first post was on the mental health forum.  I mentioned there that I was cutting down on alcohol and was aiming to stop 1 Jan.

Update is that I have now had 13 alcoholfree days, but have binged on two days.  First binge was 16 units and yesterday was 10,  I've also started counselling to deal with umpteen problems and so-called catastophic events that have happened throughout my life.  This has brought up many horrible memories and have had quite a few nightmares.  Thing is, is it all worth it?  I am now in my sixties and been carrying this around for most of my life.  I'm finding it extremely difficult to cope with my thoughts.  Have shared most things from my childhood and teenage years with my husband - but some I just didnt want to tell him for fear he would think badly of me . But last night I did and wish now I had kept my mouth shut. His first thought was I'd brought it on myself.  I'm devastated.  If i hadnt had some wine i would not have mentioned it.  Had counselling session yesterday and it seems to bring things back into my mind.  The last thing I should have done was had wine.

Have shared things with so-called friends in the past nd its come back to bite me.  Theyve turned against me and while I know that I really dont need friends like that, who ask you to share and show interest for all the wrong reasons, I feel sick at the thought of the things theyve said to me and about me since.... and that they know so much 

trying to look on the positive side of things and its very difficult 

thanks for reading

2 likes, 36 replies

36 Replies

Prev
  • colin30375
    colin30375 sue2016

    Posted

     Hello Sue, I too am in my 60's and it's better not to drink however life changing it can be - and it will be. The majority of non alcoholics have no idea what being an alcoholic is like and I've learned that we shouldn't expect them to.

    I think you did the right thing to tell your husband; maybe he will come to terms with it and help you. Most families are ashamed if they have an alcoholic in their family but it's your life and try to make the most of it. Think about your own welfare and esteem. Please don't be a people pleaser. It will only lead you to drink to please them and they'll still criticise you drunk or sober. Ignore them unless they want to help. 

    When you've been sober for some time, you'll find out who to tell and who not to.... eventually, it won't bother you. Take pride in being a sober person with your wits about you especially when you see your friends drunk. Being drunk is no life.

    Early days for you so it is a long learning process. The best thing that helped me was talking to other alcoholics; I learned much, much more from them than ANYONE else - professionals included.

    Don't beat  yourself up about the past, you have an illness whether it's genetic, learned or whatever........ it doesn't matter; you're ill so keep away from people who won't help. It's not easy but it is worth it. You don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to. Of course your husband needed to know; my guess is that he is thinking about his own pride and is confused but he wont know what to do and he'll feel all kinds of negative emotions. He can learn if he chooses to.

    You know that lots of people love to pull people down; tell them you will not allow them to make you a victim or you'll end your relationship with them. When you've been sober for some time, it won't bother you - they're not your friends anyway if they treat you as you say they do.

    I don't know of anyone who chose to be an alcoholic. I didn't choose to have other illness's but I got them. You didn't choose to be an alcoholic but you can choose to find a way to stop drinking.

    I wish you well, it's time to think about your own life or you wont be of any use to anyone. 

  • sue2016
    sue2016

    Posted

    thanks for all replies.  Have just read through all of them again because have had quite a few binges since I last posted.

    Counseling has helped with my  depression.  But I find myself feeling a little bit happier and wanting to "celebrate" with a glass or two.  Sometimes it is just that.

    I used to drink to block things out and opening up to the counsellor has helped, but I don't understand why I still go on to binge. I used to get argumentative which doesnt happen now .  It's affecting my relationships.   I am totally confused and frightened.  I feel so vulnerable and that any moment my whole life is going to fall apart.  God knows.  This weekend has been awful.  Last weekend was awful.  I can't take this any more.  I'm scared.  I look dreaful and feel dreadful.  When is it going to stop

    Not drunk since Sunday. Intend never to drink again.  Seems like Im moving very slowly forward in some ways and taking huge leaps back in others.  I love my husband and son but they are begining to hate me

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 sue2016

      Posted

      They dont hate you...they hate alcohol.

      ​remove the alcohol and life gets better....not that i am doing that...but I know that it works from 8 years of experience.

       

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.