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Checking in again......

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sue2016
sue2016

My first post was on the mental health forum.  I mentioned there that I was cutting down on alcohol and was aiming to stop 1 Jan.

Update is that I have now had 13 alcoholfree days, but have binged on two days.  First binge was 16 units and yesterday was 10,  I've also started counselling to deal with umpteen problems and so-called catastophic events that have happened throughout my life.  This has brought up many horrible memories and have had quite a few nightmares.  Thing is, is it all worth it?  I am now in my sixties and been carrying this around for most of my life.  I'm finding it extremely difficult to cope with my thoughts.  Have shared most things from my childhood and teenage years with my husband - but some I just didnt want to tell him for fear he would think badly of me . But last night I did and wish now I had kept my mouth shut. His first thought was I'd brought it on myself.  I'm devastated.  If i hadnt had some wine i would not have mentioned it.  Had counselling session yesterday and it seems to bring things back into my mind.  The last thing I should have done was had wine.

Have shared things with so-called friends in the past nd its come back to bite me.  Theyve turned against me and while I know that I really dont need friends like that, who ask you to share and show interest for all the wrong reasons, I feel sick at the thought of the things theyve said to me and about me since.... and that they know so much 

trying to look on the positive side of things and its very difficult 

thanks for reading

2 likes, 36 replies

36 Replies

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  • vickylou
    vickylou sue2016

    Posted

    I'm not quite sure which sue I'm replying to, but my comments apply to all.

    Have you tried CBT? I've just finished an eight week one to one course and found it to be excellent help.

    Unlike counselling, CBT deals with the present and focuses on thoughts and feelings and why we do certain things.

    obviously in my case, the focus was on alcohol, and the impact on not just me, but also other family members.

    One example, SITUATION who, what, when, where did you start drinking this week?

    ​FEELINGS what did you feel when you opened the bottle?

    THOUGHTS  what was going through your mind when you opened the bottle, did it really make you feel better

    Counselling is a much deeper way of trying to help. It goes back to what is the earliest memory. It involves certain events in your life, how it affected you. 

    I li had the choice of both and chose CBT. I'm 56 and seem to have wasted so much energy and negative thoughts throughout my adult life and did not want to dreg up old memories. The people involved are now dead and I got no positive answers when they were alive. I've learned to leave the past, in the past. I can't alter it and yes certain things still hurt if I let them.

    I would thoroughly recommend CBT, but like everything, you have to open your mind and be honest. It's hard work and very tiring, but well worth it if you put your mind to it.

    • sue2016
      sue2016 vickylou

      Posted

      Yes have. Many times. Too many issues to deal with. It focuses on too small an area
    • vickylou
      vickylou sue2016

      Posted

      Counselling may be a better option for you. You decide whatever you feel is an issue. There may be many things you want to discuss and explore and with counselling you decide what and for how long. It goes much deeper than CBT. If nothing else has helped, why not give it a go, if you feel it's not for you, then don't go back. I was very scathing about CBT, but gave it a go. For me it was far better than taking anti depressants which don't work when alcohol is involved.

       

  • susan60053
    susan60053 sue2016

    Posted

    Hi to all of us called Sue ! ? Totally confused now ! ? Who is who, not bothered we have the same problem and all advice is very helpful so thanks to you all outt there. Been having a clear out of all the hidden bottles-so many!!!  Now don't know where to put them before hubby appears? By the way they were all empty.Oh Dear.Love from one of the Susan's X
  • susan60053
    susan60053 sue2016

    Posted

    Hi.Actually I could do with Skip to get rid of bottles before tomorrow.my house has to look tidy before Hubby returns from helping out one of sons in London. Been Absolutly Hillariouse today sorry about spelling but you hopefully know what i mean ? X

     

    • sue2016
      sue2016 susan60053

      Posted

      lol well sounds more positive!!  throwing stuff out is very therapeutic!!

      cheesygrin

      Keep going........ smile

       

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree sue2016

      Posted

      Sue2016 (just so I don't get the wrong Sue) have a look into getting Selincro for the drinking problem. I can help you keep the quantity down and over time, it can help restore your choice about drinking. Selincro might cause initial side-effects for some, not at all for others. Often, if you can get the alcohol under control, a lot of the rest takes care of itself and your therapy sessions will be more effective. Look up the Cthree foundation, there's a link to the OptionsSaveLives discussion board there. Feel free to set up an account there, it's no charge and there and you'll find some help and some info. 
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree sue2016

      Posted

      Should have been "It can help you keep the quantity down...."

      Arrgh! No edit button!

    • sue2016
      sue2016 ADEfree

      Posted

      Thanks for your post smile

      I am managing to stay away from drinking at the moment.... only (??) two drinking evenings since 1st Jan........... actually its better if I stay off it, because it seems to open doors in my mind and thoughts overwhelm me causing a lot of upset..... 

      I have read the forums on the CThree site and found the stories helpful, as I can relate to them.  I've also mentioned selincro to my doctor but she wasnt aware of it.  But I will keep it in mind because I like the social side of drinking 

      Thanks again for your  help

    • Guest
      Guest susan60053

      Posted

      Love your honesty! I worry when the bin men come to our house on a monday and always have to sneak a few more bottles in the bin without hubby seeing x
    • vickylou
      vickylou Guest

      Posted

      At one time, my biggest fear was my oh loosing something like a receipt and going through the bin and finding my bottles at the bottom!!
    • nicole36330
      nicole36330 vickylou

      Posted

      Lol Vicky

      Our house backs onto parkland so every time I walked the dog I used to take an empty bottle of wine out to throw in the fields

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree sue2016

      Posted

      Sue2016 -

      You're quite welcome. Good job on keeping away from the drink and glad to hear you've perused the message board. Selincro has only been out for a short time and not all doctors know about it. Of the ones that do, not all know how to educate the patient on how to use it so you may need to do some calling around. Some on OptionsSaveLives might be able to give you a lead on a clinic that's more experienced with prescribing it and educating the patient on how to use it.

      One thing that you might want to check into on the web is something called the "Alcohol Deprivation Effect". You can find stories posted on OptionsSaveLives of people that have run afoul of that one. It's not something that is an issue for everybody, some have no problem with it at all. It's good to be aware of it though, you might be able to save a friend or family member a lot of trouble. 

    • Toooo_
      Toooo_ sue2016

      Posted

      Well done!

      When I binge it also opens very dark doors in my mind. I feel stronger and more able to cope with traumas in my life when I'm alcohol free.

      I also enjoy the social aspects of drinking but I don't think that is an option for me anymore, as it always end I'm a week binge and disaster for me whenever I try to social drink.

    • Guest
      Guest vickylou

      Posted

      I dread recycling day. I always hope that everyone in suburbia where I live have gone to work by the time the bin men get there. It sounds like a bottle bank in our house. Not proud of it but glad I'm not the only person that has been through it x
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