Christmas

Posted , 8 users are following.

I have never felt like this before......I am absolutely dreading Christmas.  My girls are grown up now, but I have always loved the planning and excitement of Christmas....even as they became adults.  Now I wish I could just hide away and pretend it wasn't happening. 

I dread the socialising I will have to do, and I cannot bear the thought of trying to write Christmas cards and choose presents.  What is happening to me?? 

It is making me so sad because I feel that I can no longer find pleasure in the simplest of things.  I feel that I am getting ready to leave this earth, even though I should have many years in front of me.  It's a terrible way to feel because I have so much to live for.

Sorry.  I find it hard to post my feelings because I know that I am so much better off than so many on here, I read your posts and I feel so selfish for feeling depressed.

I just wondered if I was alone in dreading the festive season coming.

Patxxx

1 like, 24 replies

Report / Delete

24 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    not at all, i hate any ceremonies, xmas, easter etc the lot, however it may have somthing to do with my upbringing and that everyone who celebrates such things are brainwashed, i.e. following trends that are brought/teached to every generation, if ppl could choose for themselfs would be such an impact to the economy, i wud love to see xmas banished etc.....

     

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi pat

    I feel 100% the same way you do. I've lost half a year with my depression and I'm still not recovered. This year will is the first Christmas I'm truly dreading! You are definitely not selfish you are being honest! Your post makes me feel like I'm not alone in my dread of Christmas this year. I'm with you in respect of being expected to socialise with family. ...when every part of me wants solitude. I am also with you when you say there is no pleasure in the simplest of things and kind of thinking life has stopped at 55.

    I guess we are not recovered yet pat but it's so important we keep that flicker of hope. I plan to talk to my family prior to Christmas and explain that this year I'm not well enough to participate in the festive activities. .followed by a sincere apology. After that I'm hoping they will understand and respect my wishes! Like you the thought of shopping or wrapping presents is a no go for me. I will take the easy option and dish out cash!!

    I usually try to please everyone but with this illness it's not possible.

    So pat. .you are not alone and again your definitely not selfish!! We can say humbug together lol.

    Chin up pat...We will get better and who knows next Christmas we may be kicking up our heels!! xx

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Oh Lorraine, thank you so much for your wonderful reply, you have helped me more than you could ever know.

      I think I will try to do what you said and explain to my family, but I find it hard to explain to them.  That was brilliant advice, thank you.

      I am just so grateful for your reply and to know that someone else feels the same, thank you, thank you.

      So okay, it's "Humbug" this year and let's look forward to better years, kicking those heels up.

      Pat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    No I think that you are not alone in dreading Christmas but little comfort though it is I think you will look forward to Christmases again. Had Christmas been 6 months ago I would have felt like you but now I am mildly optimistic. I hope that you are getting help to explore why you feel so bad, probably antidepressants and also some talking therapy. It is a hard time when children grow into adults and one has to face that they are off to live their own lives but new things develops and we move on. Sometimes it is like mourning and gradually letting time heal our wounds. I trust you will feel better soon.
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Patricia not you are not alone as there are lots of us who dread Christmas too and it isn't always because of depression.  

    Why don't you just give money or vouchers this year?   You could put a positive spin on it couldn't you?    I don't know about the socialising though.    x

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    You are definitely not alone. I used to love Christmas when my 3 kids were young. Seeing them getting excited, writing letters to Santa,making stockings to hang up. Hiding presents, being woken up at 5am.

    when they were aware that Santa wasn't real was when I started to dread Xmas. It all became far to mercenary, once the presents were opened that was it. Not having any family there was just the five of us. A lot of hard work and money for nothing.

    every year I say I'm going to be organised, cards written, presents bought and wrapped, but I never do.

    i even dread decorating the Xmas tree and finding all the decorations they made at school and whose turn it was to put the Angel on top. Once Xmas day is over, for me anyway Xmas has gone.

    i know a lot of people feel the same, so don't worry. Now soon will be the moaning about whose turn it is to invite mum and dad. If I could and they wanted to come, I'd have all my children, partners and grand children under my roof and try and recapture how Xmas was. I've bought my cards, but can't find them! Christmas hey!

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    if its any help, xmas, on a worldwide scale will soon be abolished smile
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Patricia please don't think you're being selfish in how you feel about Christmas, because you most definitely aren't . What you are being is honest, yes there will be people who will be worse off than many of us. There will be many more who pretend they will be looking forward to it, when in actual fact they are living in a false fantasy world, where they have to give the best or biggest presents. They have to have the biggest tree, the best floral displays, oh and of course the best set table and decorations. To them, Christmas is a competition and to them material things are their ideal Christmas.

    They love to socialise, not because they actually care about seeing people, but because they can open their house up to 'friends' so they can show off and hopefully go one better than everyone else. What you are doing is being honest and sharing genuine feelings.

    there will be many people who will spend Christmas alone and to them it's just another sad and lonely day the same as every other day. There will also be a lot of sad people looking back on happier times and long departed family and friends.

    the true meaning of Christmas has long gone, as shown by shops preparing and selling Christmas stuff from the end of augest and September.. December and January have the highest suicide cases,and common sense goes out of the window. Come the end of January the bills start pouring in for payment and they don't have the money to pay for everyday living and are in debt with credit cards maxed and all for what?  

    There is no obligation to socialise, you can say we're having a quiet Xmas, this year as I've not been well, so will have to decline their invite.

    there has been a huge fall in sales of Christmas cards with more and  more people opting to send Christmas greetings online with money saved sometimes donated to various charities. 

    At the end of the day, it's your Christmas too and why should you

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      spend it in a way that causes you stress, and just increases your depression or anxiety. Just remember there are many people feeling just like you, but unlike you they will not admit it.
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Oh yes I know that feeling. Kids grow up and leave, no one to make smile any more. My parents died years ago, my daughter lives down in England and my son, at 25 goes out celebrating and so Christmas morning is just me and my husband and he can be called Scrouge!!! It's awful and if I could afford it I would go away somewhere on my own. But on boxing day this year I have invited all my nephews and nieces and their families, it will be bedlum and I will need to cook and decorate the house as they all have children now but I can say that Christmas will not be so bleak. Sending you some festive cheer xxx. Oh and I always buy myself something special that I want, not expensive , chocolate, New knickers, a new book just to me from me xx
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Patricia, you are so wonderful and helpful to so many people on here <3 

    you deserve so much happiness, try not to stress yourself out about the upcoming holidays, those "times of joy" can be extra stressful for people suffering with depression but remember, it's not about cards or presents - it's about appreciating what we have, see your family for a few hours on christmas day, if it gets too much just go up for a "nap" and take some time for yourself. i'm having a very quiet christmas this year, i have no money to spoil anyone and can't put up with socialising for too long, but that is ok. we just have to tell ourselves, christmas is just like every other day - show your love for your family and more importantly, for yourself. 

    good luck pat xxx you="" deserve="" so="" much="" happiness,="" try="" not="" to="" stress="" yourself="" out="" about="" the="" upcoming="" holidays,="" those="" "times="" of="" joy"="" can="" be="" extra="" stressful="" for="" people="" suffering="" with="" depression="" but="" remember,="" it's="" not="" about="" cards="" or="" presents="" -="" it's="" about="" appreciating="" what="" we="" have,="" see="" your="" family="" for="" a="" few="" hours="" on="" christmas="" day,="" if="" it="" gets="" too="" much="" just="" go="" up="" for="" a="" "nap"="" and="" take="" some="" time="" for="" yourself.="" i'm="" having="" a="" very="" quiet="" christmas="" this="" year,="" i="" have="" no="" money="" to="" spoil="" anyone="" and="" can't="" put="" up="" with="" socialising="" for="" too="" long,="" but="" that="" is="" ok.="" we="" just="" have="" to="" tell="" ourselves,="" christmas="" is="" just="" like="" every="" other="" day="" -="" show="" your="" love="" for="" your="" family="" and="" more="" importantly,="" for="" yourself. ="" good="" luck="" pat="">

    you deserve so much happiness, try not to stress yourself out about the upcoming holidays, those "times of joy" can be extra stressful for people suffering with depression but remember, it's not about cards or presents - it's about appreciating what we have, see your family for a few hours on christmas day, if it gets too much just go up for a "nap" and take some time for yourself. i'm having a very quiet christmas this year, i have no money to spoil anyone and can't put up with socialising for too long, but that is ok. we just have to tell ourselves, christmas is just like every other day - show your love for your family and more importantly, for yourself. 

    good luck pat xxx>

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Thank you everyone.  Your posts have helped me so much.  It's so good to know that I am not alone in wishing Christmas could be cancelled. 

    I am going to take everything you have all said on board and I will put into practice all the good advice.  I guess my biggest problem will be trying not to come over as a party-pooper or a Mrs. Scrooge!!! 

    Again...thank you so much for taking the time to help me, I appreciate it so much.

    Pat xxxx

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up