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Cit 20mg and DP/DR Frustrated in DC

Posted , 7 users are following.

mike_13766
mike_13766

I have both/anxiety/depression but I think it's the anxiety which spurned the depression after I was stalked for 6 months.. Anyways, I been on cit 20mg for about 3 weeks now.. The most bothersome aspect of the drug is that since day one since I started taking it has kept me in somewhat derealized state throughout the day. I do take benzos to help alleviate my reaction to this effect but it bothers me more not knowing if it will ever go away.. I had some level of DP/DR prior because of my trauma once I started cit.. But it seems the cit enhances it more so then relieves it.

I also noticed I do better at night.. I'm not sure why that is.. Maybe it's because the drug is at its lowest level in my blood.. not sure.. Anyways, thanks for taking time to read and would love to know other people's experience with this med at 20mg and if the DP/DR ever goes away while on the cit..

1 like, 32 replies

32 Replies

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  • mike_13766
    mike_13766

    Posted

    Hello everyone.. Today was one of the worse dual I have had in the last 3 weeks. I had moments of clarity last night and felt good only be to be robbed today with feelings of hopelessness and doubt. I'm hoping the medication will start having some positive effects sometime this week it has been lomg overdue as now I'm pretty desperate for relief.im hoping everybody is turning the page for something more positive and start feeling better soon.

    Thanks,

    mike

    • linda72262
      linda72262 mike_13766

      Posted

      Hi Mike,

      Hang in there.  It will get better.  It's just a bit early for you right now.  You have to stay as positive as you can and just keep on going.  If you find yourself feeling low, take a walk.  Focus on the physical aspect of walking and just notice things - use lots of positive self talk - "I'm doing all right", "I can do this even though I don't feel perfect", "I will get through this", "I am getting through this", "I am through the roughest part", "I am already 3 weeks in"...

      Each person who goes through this journey wishes it could be quicker, but the reality is that it takes some time.  In the big scheme of things, it isn't all that long, it just feels like it is as you are working through it.  Honestly, you will be amazed at how good you feel in the upcoming weeks.

      Take  care,

      Best,

      Linda

    • mike_13766
      mike_13766 linda72262

      Posted

      Linda,

      thanks for the awesome encouragement. I appreciate all help,and assistance you have been providing. I know what you mean but I'm just and impatient person and wanting to get back up on the saddle drives me nuts. 

      So today seems okay so far but I have been studying to keep my mind busy. I read and study upto six hours a day to avoid how I'm feeling.. I know I'm overdoing it but it's better then dwelling. I appreciate your response it so,what gives me hope confused

      So how are you feeling today? 

      - Mike

    • linda72262
      linda72262 mike_13766

      Posted

      Hi Mike,

      Glad to hear you are coping today.  Around weeks 3 and 4, I was doing crossword puzzles constantly - just to try and stay focussed on something - I wasn't able to read until about week 5.  Haven't done a crossword in weeks now - don't feel the need to distract myself anymore.biggrin

      You just need to do whatever feels like it helps you right now.  You just need to get through a few more weeks and you will be amazed at the changes.  Hang in there, Mike.

      Best,

      Linda

    • smbasenberg
      smbasenberg linda72262

      Posted

      Hi Linda,

      I just wanted to let you know that I love reading your posts, you are so positive and it is definitely encouraging!

      Today is day 10 on Cit 20mg for me, I previously took it for 5 years and then decided to get off of it but ended up doing so too quickly (started feeling moody and emotional then developed anxiety symptoms again) so I started again. Around the same time I started the Cit again I found out I have high blood pressure and Diabeties so I'm also taking new meds for those issues too. All at 23 years old, ugh!

      I think I'm doing better than I was a week ago, I didn't do much of anything last week (took vacation to just chill and deal with everything) and now I'm back to work as of last Weds. I was sooooo anxious about going back to work, afraid of losing my job and furthermore losing my house, etc.

      I still don't feel comfortable driving (which I love to do normally) and seem to be so in my head when I'm driving that it makes me anxious. Every time I go to work I get this anticipatory anxiety about driving and leaving (heart rate increase, sweating, worrying), I don't know why, I'm hoping this goes away soon though because I love to drive and it is a big part of my life. I haven't gone out besides work though 

    • smbasenberg
      smbasenberg linda72262

      Posted

      Woops, my post cut out and I sent too soon.

      Anyway, I haven't gone out besides going to work this week (work nights so I don't normally do anything during the week anyway when on this schedule).

      Any advice? I just want to get through this so bad, I hate feeling almost hopeless, like I'm stuck in this cycle.

      Thanks,

      Stephanie

    • linda72262
      linda72262 smbasenberg

      Posted

      Hi Stephanie,

      You are doing very well - the first month is can be very difficult.  I notice some improvement after about week 5, but the biggiest improvement came around week 6 and 7.  I really did experience a lot of side effects and my anxiety was so bad initally, that I was way beyond being a mess.  I worked part time over the first couple of weeks and then took the last week of June as sick time.  I am off in July and August and don't have to go back to work till September.  The past few weeks, I have been dropping by the office to say "hi" and do a few odds and ends.  I find that repetition is the best thing I did.  I drove every day  - usually just to the grocery or store or for short errands - eventually, I fel better and better about it until I don't think o being anxious in the care at all.  I had more visits to the grocery story, the drycleaner, the gas stations, half hour coffes with friends and wailks around the neighbourhood by myself for with my husband or friend.  Eventually, all of these tasks became easy for me.  I am actually getting ready to take a cross country road trip across Canada to move my daugher into her new apartment in Ottawa where she is attending school in the far.  I am really looking forward to itbiggrinI honestly feel very close to feeling perfectly normal.  I have the odd twinge of anxiety every week or so, but it passes very quickly.  I am truly enjoying my life again.  My best advice to you is to just stay as positive as you can and keep going day by day.  You are still early in the process and it really does take some time to get the meds at a therapeutic level in your system.  You also have to push yourself a bit - don't overdo it, but do a little errand or walk when you can.  Exercise helps tremendously.  I even started playing tennis - just love smashing the ball and after about 40 minutes or so, I feel like I have really accomplished something and am working toward getting healthier at the same time.  I lost a lot of weight in the beginning - over 20 lbs - I have kept it off, even though my appetite is now great.  I look and feel much better.

      You will definitely get to this stage, you are just going to have to get through the next month or so, but soon, you will be giving adive to other "newbies" on this site.

      Take care, Stephanie,

      Best,

      Linda

  • mike_13766
    mike_13766

    Posted

    Hello all,

    maybe you could provide some assistance here.. In addition to the celexa I'm taking 1mg ativan daily based on doctors recommendation. However, I notice most of the time when take my celexa I'm not feeling that great but when I take my ativan I feel much better then celexa by itself. I guess my fear is that the ativan is what works and not the SSRI. It will be approaching 4 weeks on Tuesday with limited improvement. I also asked my pdoc and he said it would be impossible to tell since we cannot track the agents in the cns..

    I guess my biggest fear is that the celexa isn't working and I'm stuck on benzos to deal with my,anxieties and depression when I was originally prescribed this medication for both..Any input would be great...

    -Mike

     

    • linda72262
      linda72262 mike_13766

      Posted

      Hi Mike,

      I am actually on celexa, too.  It really does take 4 - 6 weeks to get into your system.  You will start to see a big change around week 5 and it will only get better from there.  Ativan is a good med, but it won't solve your probems permently - it is very fast acting.  In the beginning, my doc wanted to give me some ativan, but I am leery of most meds, so he told me to take my sleeping pill, zoplicone  - which I am very comfortable with - in small dosages during the day.  I did that thorughout weeks 4 adn 5 and then I didn't need it anymore.  REally, the celexa will work  - just take some time.  Use the ativan while you need it until the celexa reaches therapeutic levels - you won't require the ativan after that!!!!!

      Keep exercising  - force yourself to do for regular walks - you will find that they will get easier and easier as the days progress.  You have to live with anxiety for a bit longer, so while you are waiting - improve the health of your body.  It is really wonderful to be in better physical shape and not have anxiety at the same time.  You will love it.

      Be patient, Mike

      You will feel better soon!!!!!

      BESt,

      Linda

      Hugs

    • mike_13766
      mike_13766 linda72262

      Posted

      Linda,

      than so from writing back. Did you notice and improvement in your depression or just in your anxieties? Or did one improvement come before the other? It's seems for me the anxiety fuels the depression and I'm hoping the medication takes care of both. 

    • mike_13766
      mike_13766 linda72262

      Posted

      Ugh today has been rough..I'm now one month on cit 20mg.. Today lots of anxiety and had to take 1mg of ativan to help quell the anxieties.. Also my derealization is peaking because of the additional breakthrough anxiety. I'm hoping as I go into my 5th weeks things will take a better turn for me.. I have tried many meds but this will the first medication I have been in the longest.. I'm hoping all my initial suffering has not been in vane. 

      I also sent sent my doc and email asking if I could increase my ativan from 1mg to 1.5mg for buffer until,meds take hold. I'm seeing him on the 12 and hopefully have better to report then when I saw him last sad 

      BTW were you still,anxious at week 4 as well?

      Thanks,

      Mike

    • linda72262
      linda72262 mike_13766

      Posted

      Hi Mike,

      Yes, I was still very anxious and depressed during my 4th week.  I noticed thie biggest turnaround between week 5 and week 7.  The depression goes away as the anxiety subsides - and i t definitely does subside.  You just have to keep as positive as you can for the next couple of weeks.  You should start noticing some moments of decreased anxiety over the next week.  Those moments will turn into hours quite quickly.  You will get there, Mike!!!

      Best,

      Linda

    • mike_13766
      mike_13766 linda72262

      Posted

      Linda,

      thanks for the response. I did notice I'm a little,apathetic about things. I'm hoping this passes since I'm going into week 5. Also did you notice fatigue on the medication? I have noticed recently I'm sleeping more then normal.. Do you know if these effects subside overtime?

  • dave37586
    dave37586 mike_13766

    Posted

    I went on citalopram and get dp still get it from time to time, I used to freak myself out wondering why I felt so isolated, alone, as if I hadn't woken up from my dream, panic panic panic, rolling round on the floor, my mother thought I'd lost it, even I did, now when I feel this sense of dp/dr I relax myself and ride it out as I know I've seen it through many of time, turns out losing a lot in life at the time was bottled up so it was in fact the depression that caused dp. The mind is such an amazing thing.
    • mike_13766
      mike_13766 dave37586

      Posted

      Dave,

      did you have dp or dr once you started the cit? I had when I  since April. However, I noticed it increase once on the cit. I was just curious if you had it initially and did it ever go away for you? I want to stay on the meds but might have to get,off if the dp dr doesn't lessen.

      Thanks,

      Mike

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