Citalopram: 20mg for 8 weeks then 30mg for 2 weeks - feel much worse!
Posted , 247 users are following.
Hi everyone. First time posting here. I am worried that I feel much worse after an increase in my Citalopram dosage from 20mg to 30mg.
[u]Some symptoms I've been experiencing:[/u]
- insomnia and bad sleep during the night
- tiredness and "brain fog" during the day
- persistent anxiety and circular thoughts
- feeling reckless and self-destructive
- hopelessness, feeling lost and directionless
- unable to write or be creative for my studies
- panic attacks and chest pains, which have never subsided throughout my 10 weeks on Citalopram
Please can anyone offer some advice or share their experience. I just really want to know that it gets better and that my life will improve on the increased dose. I am really not coping right now and can't see a way forward.
Thank you.
5 likes, 913 replies
chris58372 Guest
Posted
Im so glad I found this thread this morning as it feels like im going crazy and it feels like im never going to get better.
Ive taken Citalopram for 10 years since i was 32. Initially 20mg then upped to 40mg a few years ago after a breakdown in work.
I decided last Autumn i was going to try and come off them. I weened myself off by Xmas and all was good.
However, about 6 weeks after i stopped the meds i started feeling anxious again. I ignored at first just putting it down to the stress of work but then it started getting worse.
I went back on 20mg but 3 weeks later they were not touching me so I went back and doctor told me to stick out the 20mg. Another 3 weeks but getting worse and to the point that i could barely sleep (3 hours max if i was lucky) and thinking about work constantly. Before work, after work, convincing myself i cant cope. Cant cope with work leads to the mind wandering and then i cant cope with life and I start thinking really irrational thoughts.
It come to a head a couple of Sundays ago and ive had to take time off work. I started on 40mg 9 days ago but it has been horrific. i dont ever remember it getting this bad all the times i started, or increased the dosage previously.
I got some sleeping pills so i am getting sleep but as soon as I wake its back to square one. In fact i dread waking up. Yesterday, Day 9 on 40mg, was the worst yet.
Ive been going to the gym or for long walks in these 9 days, tried to meditate, tried talking to family and friends, but i just cant shake the feeling.
Probably naive thinking but after taking them for 10 years , and only having a 2 month break, i would have expected to start to feel better by now after 6 weeks on 20mg and 9-10 days on 40mg.
This morning was not as bad as yesterday, and then I come across this thread which has given me some hope, so I am PRAYING this is the first chink of light on the road to recovery.
Sorry to ramble on but i just needed to get it off my chest as no matter how much you talk to friends and family they dont truly understand how debilitating anxiety and depression can be.
chloe04670 chris58372
Posted
Hi chris58372,
This is my second time on citalopram but id been off them for about a year before going back on them 5 weeks ago. I dont remember the side effects being as bad as they were this time around and have been really struggling with mornings too. I have been having more good days than bad this week though so hopefully things will start to ease for you soon. Ive started doing yoga and meditation in the mornings before work and that does seem to help. Hope things ease for you soon.
chris58372 chloe04670
Posted
Thanks Chloe
Had a poor nights sleep last night and woke a little anxious this morning. Not as bad as ive been feeling prior to yesterday l, but yesterday was my first good day for weeks, and i was really hoping it would continue today and get 2 in a row.
I was due to see a counsellor for the first time ever today but theyve called this morning to cancel so thats knocked me back too.
Hopefully its just the morning feeling and the will improve.
gemma77546 chris58372
Posted
Hi, your situation sounds a lot like what i was going through last year. I too have been on them before and I recovered on 20mg. I came off them and due to a situation with work the anxiety came back, I tried to cope but it was no good so I went back onto the citalopram. It feels like its taken longer second time round to get over it but its a year today since it all started and I can promise you it does get better.I've had to go up to 30mg. There is no quick fix though, you will gradually improve over months. Be kind to yourself though, its just your brain saying its struggling a bit. When i was bad i had some cognitive behavioural therapy and it did help, the councellor messed me about at the start and that knocked me too. We're all here for you though so keep in touch as it really helped me last year.
andrew83432 chris58372
Posted
hi pal , i got upped from 20 mg to 30 mg and waited it out 16 weeek and got no better worse if anything , my dr switched my meds to 50mg sertraline its only been a week and half and feel alot better than i did, think the citalopram just stopped working for me
amanda21726 chris58372
Posted
HI Chris
how are you doing now, 4 months later?
suestev andrew83432
Posted
did the sertraline have side effects at first. i felt so ill at the beginning with citalopram, i couldnt bear to go through that again. i have emitophobia so anything that makes me feel sick petrifies me.
dubry7605074 Guest
Posted
Welcome. First thing, if you went off completely from fall to Christmas, that was way too fast. Especially after being on them for 10 years. To do the taper properly, it should take you a year minimum. These meds work very dlowly and extremely powerful. You have severe side effects from withdrawals plus all the startup effects from changing dosages over and over. Spend quite a bit of time on each fosage to see which is right gor you. More is not always better with yhese meds. Good luck and you can always count on the prople in this forum.
lois95799 dubry7605074
Posted
totally agreed with dubry.
lyndawal Guest
Posted
Hello,
I have just come across this Forum and it is so interesting.
I can relate on so many levels - I too have been on Cipramil for over 10 years.
Originally 10mg which sorted my anxiety out in a few months but carried on taking. I then had a relapse about 6 months ago totally out of the blue (after 9.5 years!), and Doctor upped my dose to 20mg.
I went through the worsening phase for a couple of months and though things eased off a little, it did not work completely so Doctor upped me again to 30mg - 20 in the morning 10 in the evening.
This was about 2 months ago but I an still suffering the nausea - mainly every morning.
I have been given Cyclizine - an ant-sickness and take this to combat the sickness and it does work but sometimes flares up again later in the day.
I have been told that upping dosage makes the anxiety worse and have felt like just stopping the tablets all together but that's probably not a good idea - especially as I am going away to America for hols next week - I am probably anxious about felling anxious with the stress of the airport, etc!
Hoping when I finally get there I can chill and come back a new person!
I too would love to get hold of this book that is being mentioned - could some-one send me the link too?
babysteps Guest
Posted
HI. I have been on 20mg for a year now and it does get better. For me, it was a combination of citalopram medication and CBT. Lots of change in my life to look after myself. I had terrible insomnia which very gradually eased off. It still comes and goes but i don't let it worry me now. X
k9164 Guest
Posted
Hello All,
if anybody has the books or links katecoggs referred to can you please private message me. Thank you!!!
k9164 Guest
Posted
Hello All,
if anybody has the books or links katecoggs referred to can you please private message me. Thank you!!!
steven1976 Guest
Posted
@katecogs This is my 3rd time on CIT in 8 years and it has only been 6 days but omg the mornings are so severe and can't recall having so many intrusive thoughts all at the same time. Have any of you experienced this before and how long does it last. I did have them the last but not as intense.
sheila92428 steven1976
Posted
I had a lot of intrusive thoughts this time around but with time, i.e. several weeks they have decreased. Its just awful I know, they will decrease. I was very panicky about it to start with they have decreased.Bear with, although not easy.
katecogs steven1976
Posted
Hi Steven
Sorry, just seen your message and post. I've just messaged you too.
Sorry you've had to return to meds again - yes I've been on them twice and both times I had a different experience.
Intrusive thoughts are just a side effect of anxiety - an anxious body = anxious thoughts which can become wacky / weird. As the anxiety lessens so too will those intrusive thoughts.
Yes I had lots of intrusive thoughts - had them 24/7.
The meds heighten anxiety at first so thats probably why the intrusive thoughts are so raw at the moment, and as you progress on the meds the anxiety will ease followed by the thoughts.
Thoughts are one of the things people find the worst - but remember they're not true, this is not you, and its just anxiety foxing you. Don't fight them because they'll come anyway, but instead just recognise they're there, let them be, don't engage with them, don't try and fix them - allowing them to 'just be' in the head they'll feel less intense. Very difficult I know ......
But I've messaged you anyway too.
K x
katiescb katecogs
Posted
Hi, this forum and your advice has been incredibly reassuring, thank you.
I'm 5 weeks in with Citalopram (started on 10mg for 3 weeks and have been on 20mg for the last 2weeks), I've found the side effects pretty bad but I do feel a bit calmer and the constant thoughts/busy head has slowed down. I've found a great meditation App which has helped separate the physical symptoms from the thoughts and it has helped me to understand anxiety a bit too.
It's a lot to get your head around especially when without realising this has probably been a problem for much longer than i initially thought (maybe 25+ years...silly really).
Like a lot of people I'd really like the link for the book you recommend please. To try and approach it from a few different angles I guess! Sorry you have to keep messaging people.
Thanks,
Katie
katecogs katiescb
Posted
Hi katiescb
Yes starting meds can be tricky as your body settles - and you may find the anxiety will come and go for a little while yet. But just keep going.
The thoughts are a side effect of anxiety, and the meds heighten anxiety to start with, hence why the thoughts become more frequent. It will all settle.
It is a lot to understand, and lots of people become terrified of the thoughts and try and fix it (I did too), making the anxiety worse. Understanding the thoughts ARE just a side effect and will help a little as anxiety lessens making it easier to bear.
Yes most people have a build up prior to having anxiety long before the condition starts - anxiety doesn’t often just appear overnight. The body has been prepared well in advance (usually with stress) until ‘pop’ when the adrenaline has reached its limit, becomes too much and simply boils over resulting in anxiety. From there we become afraid of the feelings of anxiety and all associated side effects, and so we enter the anxiety cycle (anxiety produces fear of anxiety, produces thoughts and side effects, produces fear of thoughts and side effect which all produces more anxiety).
I’ll pm you with the link - and would be nice to know too the meditation app xx
amanda21726 katiescb
Posted
hi katie
I echo your sentiments re Katecogs.
please may i know which is the meditation app you find so helpful. There are so many of them out there, it is good to have a recommendation.
Thanks
Mandabenn