Citalopram - Daily journal
Posted , 6 users are following.
Hey guys and gals! Erm... I'm not sure if this seems a little self indulgent but I'm going to do it anyway because I'd like to think it might be helpful.
I've been reading other threads about citalopram, anxiety, depression etc and although there are some really helpful comments of support, ultimately people post here because they're experiencing side effects or worried etc and are seeking help. It can seem almost like a sea of scary experiences. People don't tend to come here to share their positive or rather unremarkable experiences (there are some floating about mind). So I thought I'd start a thread that journaled my own experience whether it be filled with awful side effects or hardly any at all, but one that is a true reflection of a lived experience.
I came here initially wanting to find reassurance before starting on citalopram and had hoped to find something like this, but didn't. So here I am. Hope this is okay, and I hope it's helpful.
0 likes, 16 replies
CazChar83
Edited
So, background. I've lived with anxiety and paranoia for as long as I can remember. My depression is a result of being so exhausted from battling intrusive, negative thoughts every day.
I have a good job, a great partner and a loving family but I struggle to just be happy and relaxed and it makes me sad that I feel like I can't fully appreciate it all. I took the plunge and went to my GP on Monday, who prescribed Citalopram 10mg.
I waited until today to take it because I didn't want to start it while I was in work.
Now, it probably wasn't the best idea to get nice and drunk at a Christmas party last night, but here we are. Haha.
I took my first tablet this morning at 9:30am and to be honest, I think I've had very little in the way of side effects. I've been hungover and usually with this comes some level of anxiety. Like a general feeling of unease. I felt a little bit spaced out around the 1 hour mark but tried not to allow myself to focus on it too much. My partner suggested we went out for lunch and I could quite easily have said no but I went with it. I had a short rush of nausea while sat in a cafe which triggered a rush of anxiety and I felt my cheeks get hot but it passed in less than a minute. I couldn't finish my food or coffee, because I simply wasn't interested. Not sure if that was the hangover or the meds. We'll find out tomorrow but I've been fine since then. I'm expecting that as I start to build it up in my system, I may experience more in the way of initial side effects but so far so good. Nothing I couldn't handle. I'll be interested to see how I sleep tonight.
See you tomorrow for day 2!
ian90586 CazChar83
Posted
Hi,you are right in saying that there aren't really any positive comments on these forums to show that any antidepressant has helped them,though there are a couple and one in particular on the Sertraline forum. That's because when you feel recovered and you move on with your life,you're not interested in dwelling on the time when you were really ill and looking for support in your darkest days and want to forget it. I've done it myself. Reading over and over again, to see if other people are experiencing the terrible things you are going through and looking for any morsel of comfort you can gain when you don't think you can endure it another day.
That's what happens when you think you can't go on and you turn to antidepressants to make you better,only to find out in the first weeks and months of taking them that they make you worse then you were before. That's why in the beginning of treatment these forums help people to get through the worst times of their lives.
you're right,it wasn't a very good idea to go and get drunk the night before starting antidepressants as alcohol is a depressant and won't help you any in the beginning of treatment, especially as things worsen anyway.
CazChar83 ian90586
Edited
I never said I was perfect 😃
CazChar83
Posted
Day 2
I slept well last night considering I usually wake once or twice. And upon waking I genuinely felt good. Took my 2nd tablet at 9:30am and for the most part I've felt fine.
There hasn't been any particular point of the day where I've felt a surge in anything. But I have felt a bit foggy and vague for the majority of the day.
I've been out and about with my partner, shopping and visiting his parents and there were a couple of times I could've asked to go home and have a lie down but I pushed through.
I think I'm dealing with any side effects in the same way I deal with all of the symptoms of my anxiety; by not giving it too much attention. It seems to help.
Tomorrow may be a different story entirely. I'm back at work and my partner and home comforts won't be there. It'll be harder for me to suppress anxious feelings so let's see how that pans out.
CazChar83
Posted
It might be worth noting that if I seem optimistic, it's because I finally took the plunge after more than 2 years of avoiding another SSRI. Having options (now that I've finally caved) gives me a sense of hope.
Ps. I now have a headache I can't shake. Kind of like a tension headache so I've given up trying to wrap presents and I'm settling down to watch TV with a peppermint and liquorice tea.
Today has felt OK, but long.
CazChar83
Posted
Day 3
Slept OK last night except I dreamt a lot. I don't usually remember dreams but last night it felt long and vivid. I was particularly angry in my dream.
Had the usual feeling of dread and nerves driving to work. Nothing to do with work, I like my job. Just the usual generalised feelings of anxiety that rush through me for no reason whatsoever.
Finding myself tiring much earlier than I usually would. I could feel myself getting slower around 3pm and then the headache kicked in. My head feels tight and then my jaw becomes tense. It's a bit like when I'm dehydrated or haven't eaten for a while and my brain feels like it could shrivel up and disappear. The jaw clenching feels more like I'm bracing myself against the headache.
Still happy not to be experiencing anything particularly horrific but it'll be nice to have a bite to eat and go to bed early and hopefully sleep off the headache.
CazChar83
Posted
Day 4
Very little to report. My only complaint is a bit of a headache but I'm attributing it to not having drank much today. My self care is lacking. My tiredness is probably a result of this too.
My main thoughts today are that my side effects have been pretty mild compared to some people. I might be lucky, but maybe 10mg is too low a dose to have any effect on me, good or bad?
Hoping to feel some changes in the way I deal with some situations as the weeks go on. I'd like very much to be able to not ruminate on things that make me feel bad. That will be my turning point I think.
Anyway, I'll probably only pop back with anything significant. You don't need a blow by blow of me having dehydration headaches. Haha. Not even sure if this gets read or is helpful to anybody, but it's a form of catharsis and a way for me to measure my own progress I guess.
jessica61856 CazChar83
Posted
I want to thank you for sharing your days with us. I've been suffering with anxiety since mid July. Things have gotten better since then but my anxiety is still lingering. Can't seem to shake it. I been living my life as normal as I possibly can. Not letting it stop me from doing things. It does get hard but I think this is the only way to combat it. I have also learned to control my worrying but I do find myself worrying about my anxiety more than anything.
CazChar83 jessica61856
Posted
Hi Jessica. I'm glad you're making progress with your anxiety. It's a cruel affliction huh?!
I know when I've felt anxious, I find it helpful to just stop and breathe slowly. Like there is a certain peace to be inhaled. It's hard when you're deep in it though, I know.
You are moving in the right direction. Stick at it. You deserve peace and happiness.
jessica61856 CazChar83
Posted
yes. I freakin hate anxiety!!!
I will try breathing through it. 😊
Thank you very much.
lorraine90511 CazChar83
Posted
thank you for sharing your journey, i have tead jt and im sure others have and found it nice to read. im glad youre not suffering much with side affects. mine were awful. stay safe 😃
CazChar83 lorraine90511
Posted
Thank you Lorraine. I just wanted to reassure people and give them a real lived experience to follow. It's been pretty boring so far but I think for those who are rocking up here with severe anxiety and fearing the worst, it may just help someone down off the ceiling.
CazChar83
Posted
Day 6
Sleep has become just that tiny bit more elusive. I've not been able to have a good night's sleep all week, even after a knackering day at work.
I've made a concerted effort to stay hydrated and the headaches aren't as bad. Still finding that I'm tense around my jaw so having to remind myself to relax.
No noticeable changes in mood or anxiety levels as yet but that's to be expected so early on. The dark, cold nights are keeping my mood pretty flat.
I'll catch up on some sleep at the weekend and hopefully feel less of a grump!
ashley92970 CazChar83
Posted
so how are you feeling now?
CazChar83 ashley92970
Posted
Hi, sorry I've not been on to reply.
I've been good, thank you.
It's been about 5 weeks and the side effects have gone away. I had a blip or two over Christmas but I forgot to take my tablets for a couple of days.
I found that with my side effects gone, my mood/anxiety stable, and my usual routine disrupted by the festive period, I just innocently forgot.
My initial headaches and nausea have gone and the very minor issue of orgasm in the bedroom only last a little while.
I've made a point now of making sure I drink plenty of water every day (2 litres) and it's making a positive contribution to my wellbeing overall.
I still lack some motivation for getting on with things outside of work but we are getting a rescue dog on 16th so my sense of responsibility will be another kick up the arse.
Work feels positive and I'm not allowing things to get to me like I used to. I do, however, feel like I may consider an increase to 20mg as I can find myself feeling a little flat at times but I want to give myself time. I worry this improvement is a bit of a placebo effect but time will tell.