Codeine addiction (Nurofen Plus)

Hi mate. Are you buying three large boxes per day? Are you taking 96 a day? regards xx

I'm buying 2 a day on the regular but some times 3 why?

Hello lohed you say you need help, but help for what? Quite a few people read this thread, and can give you help or advice based on their own experiences, 

the more honest as to what you want you can be the better, do you want to quit? Do you just want advice or information? Please don't be shy, ask what you want, nobody here will judge you, or look down on you, we've all been affected by the curse of addiction to some degree, and will mostly want to help you, so just be honest as to what you want, and we'll do our best to help!

Hi Loched,

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I know the itching all too well. I too had a blocked bile duct as well as an inflamed gallbladder that was so bad it perforated my liver. I spent 2 weeks in hospital with a tube hanging out of my stomach to drain the excess fluid.

I abused neurofen plus for 9 years taking up to 60-70 a day at my lowest point. I some how (miraculously) never got an ulcer but I spent a considerable amount of time in agony from stomach and bowel irritation. It got to a point where all's I could eat was a couple spoonfuls of yoghurt a day. My weight dropped to 35kg's (I'm 164cm tall) and my body began to shut down.

By the end I wasn't even taking it for the high. The thought of taking them made me so ill but I knew if I didn't, I'd go into withdrawal and I would have rather died. I also had a lot of fear giving them up as my partner had never known me off the pills. Hell I didn't even know me off the pills! And now, eight months after quitting cold turkey I'm still trying to work it out.

There are a great many options for helping you to deal with the pain of withdrawal. You could try suboxone/subutex or methadone. My doctor offered this to me. I declined because I wanted to be rid of any kind of opiate in my body. What I did find very helpful was a drug called "gabbapentin". It's not specifically designed for withdrawals like subs and methadone are and it is not an opiate, but it works on a number of symptoms so you feel halfway human through detox. It was the only thing that could take away my insane restless legs and arms which almost drove me to insanity. It also helps with insomnia, anxiety and body aches and pains.

No matter what you do detoxing from opiates won't be rainbows and unicorns, feeling depressed, anxious and really low or boring is normal but it doesn't last forever. You have so much to live for mate. Do this for yourself, your wife and soon to be born baby.

If you ever need someone to chat to or advice don't hesitate to contact me.

Take care

Well said. Did you manage to stop for good? You really summarized it so well. I don't know who the real me is any more. I function only when I take NP. I tried to stop a few weeks ago. I had terrible retlessness and felt horrible. I would have persevered but I couldn't fulfil any commitments without the horrible stuff. i couldn't work or even use the phone while I was detoxing so, in the end, I began to take the drug. I am pretty sure that if I had had a clear 2 or 3 weeks with no responsibilities or commitments (or not having to deal owith or talk to anyone), I would have made it. I worry about what the other side could look like. I hope I can still be confident and do all the things I used to do. Did you (or anyone) try diazepam to get through the worst? I was wondering whtehr I should ask my doctor for some. Any thoughts? And please Lohed, try and do something about it. Nikki is so right. The advice and support is here x

Hi Drew,

I have quit for good but that was after 3 attempts at it. You're 100% right. You need time off from the world. I couldn't even answer my phone or reply to a message, it took what little strength I had just to walk 5 meters to the bathroom.

A lot of doctors will tell you after detoxing you'll be right as rain but it's far from the truth. Physically yes I was back to full health within 3 weeks, psychologically not so much. For a while I found it difficult to find a reason to get up in the morning because I didn't have pills to look forward to. Before my addiction I was a teenager still, by the time I quit I was almost 30. I didn't know who or what I was without them. It gets better though. It can take up to a year to fully recover from opiate addiction. It's a slow process but so worth it. I'd rather be dead than go back to them.

Personally I'm not a fan of diazepam. I've taken it twice before when I was in hospital for the first time and found it made me feel like more of a zombie. I actually requested the doctors take it off my meds chart. Diazapam can be very addictive and from what I've heard and researched a substantial amount worse to detox off than opiates. In saying that everyone is different. I just don't like it. Plus I have an addictive personality so I steer well clear of it.

I hope you can get some time to switch off the outside world and get better. Take care of you. Take it from someone who abused their own body to near death, three times with those toxic pills. You've gotta take care of you

Also, if you're looking for something to help you feel somewhat functional throughout detox gabbapentin or lyrica are really good. You need a prescription for them though.

Take care Drew and keep in touch.

Wow thanks nikki. What an amazing reply. I needed to hear this. Apart from knowing that I'm in for a lot of physical discomfort, I worry that I will feel low without my fix. You know what is like Nikki... when I am dosed up, I get bouts of energy where I can do anything. It lasts an hour or two and then the horrible effects take over so I then take more NP.

I do need space from the world. I am sure I could do it if I had that. The problem for me is that I became a mature student last year and I only have a small grant. I haven't really got the money at the moment to go away anywhere. At home, I'm too accessible. I have to answer the phone and deal with things. Last time I got through four days and then people started coming round or phoning. I had to take NP again to be able to get off the bed. I have even been looking at cheap hostels. It's so difficult. I don't belive that there are any facilities run by the NHS or similar that I could escape to. I think centres are only provided for what they consider are more serious addictions. Even my GP doesn't take it that seriously. I am so happy for you. Please, please never go back. You are an inspiration xx

Thankyou Drew you made my morning! Nobody has said I'm an inspiration before. Although I don't look at myself that way.

Unfortunately there is so much ignorance surrounding codeine addiction. I'm not sure where you are located but here in Australia codeine is highly regulated. There are a lot of rules regarding it's use and prescription but there's not a lot of help offered to anybody that wants to quit.

It's totally normal to be fearful when faced with the concept of giving up codeine but once you get through the rough of it the other side is so much brighter. I actually have more confidence in myself than before. Whilst on codeine I was very quiet and shy and very restrictive of what I would say. I'm much more outspoken now (which some people don't like lol) and I'm not fearful of standing up for myself and what I believe in. My biggest issue is actually feeling emotions now. On codeine I never really felt or cared for much else other than codeine. Now I have to feel all these pesky human emotions which is not a bad thing, just an adjustment

Maybe you could just tell everyone you're going away on a holiday and just bunker down at home and ignore everything.

You're already halfway there just by acknowledging that you don't want the pills in your life anymore. Even if it takes you ten goes at getting clean, don't be discouraged or disheartened. Percevierence is the key.

Take care Drew

He's right nikki48530,

I've been commenting a lot on the Australian related codeine forums but you posts was the first one I came across on these forums. You've shared so much of your struggles and for the new people reading that it's like getting hit in the head with a hammer and realising "that I am not alone in this"

You deserve to be proud and feel as though you have attributed to people making positive changes in their lives simply through sharing your story. I would bet money on it that you've given hope to people whose doctors haven't, made people realise that they are not worthless drug addicts or bad parents and given people the belief that they could, will and can overcome the problems they're going through at the moment. Your post is the first one I read here on these forums and I haven't taken codeine for about 2 months now. I did choose another option which I've spoken about on the Australian Real Time Recording topic and even ended up being interviewed on the radio over here.

Be proud in what you've accomplished because you will never know how many people you've helped in the process of just you being honest.

WilRo

The itching could be an allergic reactionto it, be very careful. You have a new addition to be around for as well as your wife. She probably isn't as oblivious as you think. Gradually cut down say 2 each time you take them and then 2 less each day,it is surprising how little your body needs. That worked for me 1st time. This time I kinda stumbled across switching from ibuprofen and codeine to paracetamol and codeine. You don't get stomach cramps, nausea,shaking,sweating,diarrhea,leg cramps etc. I went to my gp for help a couple of years ago and told him I was addicted and he looked at me like I was stupid and asked what I meant.

This is a very real issue. Some have died from this stuff.

People have also committed suicide because they felt so low going cold turkey, it amazes me that some Gp's tell people to try that method.

one important thing is to understand that everybody is different and will all experience different symptoms and problems, for differing lengths of time and intensity!

Hi WilRo,

Thankyou so much for your kind words they have touched my heart

I would love to help anyone I can in their journey to give up opiates because I know and lived the shame, embarrassment and isolation of this addiction for so long. I hate to think of others going through this agony and it really dissapoints me what little help and knowledge the people in power have on the subject.

Good on you for helping spread awareness on this subject as it is viewed as such a hush hush topic amongst both those abusing it as well as those that haven't experienced first hand the destructiveness of codeine addiction.

Congratulations on your fantastic achievement! I'm so happy to hear you have given up codeine you've accomplished an amazing and very difficult thing, I hope you feel empowered by it.

How are you feeling now after the 2 months clean of opiates?

You are so welcome. It's great to read your story. There are many people on here suffering and who are scared of what recovery might mean. I want to rid myself of this awful drug but I am worried about the future. Seeing your story has inspired me. I am in the UK and codeine is easier to come by which probably means that addiction is not taken seriously. There is very little support. I understand what you mean about feeling nothing except for codeine. I have lost all my passion for life and music and the things I loved. Equally I am worried about feeling emotion again. It was good therefore to hear you say that actually it is good to feel again. It is brilliant that even though you have put this behind you, you are willing to share your experiences to give others strength.

That is a good idea. I could just pretend that I'm away. I will give that some thought. It may be the way forward. Thanks again Nikki. I hope that others draw strength from your posts.Take care and lots of love x

Hello again. You too have helped. I am convinced your idea of cold turkey is the right one x

You are right. I found cutting down so difficult but cold turkey is very unpleasant too. It is a personal choice. x

Nikki. i know you must be busy but could you do me a favour and list all the things I and others have to look forward to. I think if we saw it in black and white, it would give us the incentive to suffer the recovery and come out on the other side. Thank you in advance. Love D x

Hi Drew,

Of course I can

So many things change after detoxing as your body recovers I'll list as many I can think of for you...

As I mentioned previously my confidence has increased exponencially, I am longer the door mat I once was. I feel emotions now, my love and passion for music and art returned, I find happiness and joy from the smaller things in life, I am very contious about the way I treat others now, I am able to find beauty in nature and my surroundings (sounds lame but just seeing a bird fly past or a beautiful flower makes me smile), I can feel love again, I am doing things to benefit my career, I am able to recognise and acknowledge certain destructive things I say or do and work on changing them, I feel the healthiest I've ever felt, my head is clear, I actually want to spend time with people (on codeine all's I wanted to do was sit at home and take my pills), and last but not least I am actually proud of myself rather than feeling shame and disgust.

Also I can't stress to you how amazing it feels to not have to constantly be worrying about where I'm going to get my next fix from, how I'm going to hide it and how crap I'm gonna feel after it wears off. It's a really liberating feeling.

It's only after your head and body are clear of opiates when you realise how much they change you. It can be quite daunting having to try and rediscover who you are. But now I am able to recognise how much of crap person I was and how much I hurt the people close to me. It's really difficult to come to terms with but it's a part of growing and healing the psychological trauma I put myself and others through.

Sorry this ended up super long lol I tried to list everything but I'm sure I've left out a few.

Hope it helps

NIKKI NIKKI NIKKI! Thank you so much. I wondered whether I was being a bit silly asking you for a list of benefits but I am so glad I did ask. You are so kind to do this. I have printed your words and pinned them on my wall.

Can you imagine how much these words can help anyone here who is struggling. We need to hear this. We need to have something to aim for.

Your posts have also made me be a bit more honest with myself. I used to like to think that it was only the physical issues as to why I keep using opiates. I now know that, although the physical withdrawal is unpleasant, I am using opiates to get the effect. I take far more than I need to ward away any physical effects. I am taking it to get the effect. I kid myself that this effect helps me cope better with life. I kid myself that it is worth the stomach pain, the endless journeys to chemists and the tiredness. I started to worry about what I will replace my little 'highs' with. You have given me the answer Nikki. I can replace those 'highs' with everything you said.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. Love Drew xx

You are most welcome Drew

I'm so glad I could be of help. I'd love to be able to help even just one person rid themselves of the control opiates have on their life.

There's so much on the other side and while it's not always easy, it's more than worth it.

Please keep in touch and keep me posted. And remember, even if it takes you ten times to find success, don't feel ashamed and never feel worthless. You are fighting a fierce component but I know you can kick it's butt ??

The fact that you have achieved it gives me (and I am sure others here) hope. Although I know it's killing me (I feel really unhealthy and I'm losing weight), I just can't imagine life without the 'highs' the NP gives me. I seem to need to take it to function with confidence which makes it so damned hard to give up. Reading your story has taught me that the 'highs' that I think I would miss will be replaced with something better. My next step is to create the space I need. Can I ask just one more question Nikki? I know we are all different but how many days of cold turkey is likely before I can get back to a little normailty. Some here have dais 5 days, others say longer. I need to get a rough idea of how long I can tell people I will be away. I am going to pretend I'm on holiday. I was thinking I would need at least one week until I'm ready to talk to people or, at least, try to behave naturally. At the moment, after about day 3, I am in too much of a state to even pick up the telephone. Any thoughts you have would be helpful because I need a plan. Thank you again for your inspiration. Love Drew x

It depends. I took gabbapentin because by day 5 of no sleep and constant restless legs and arms I was having a mental breakdown. As soon as I took it I was able to function somewhat normally i.e answer the phone, go for short walks and get a little sleep. I started feeling better by day 8 or 9. If you don't go the gabbapentin I'd say by day 7 you'll feel a little better and be back to functionality by day 10ish.

If I were you I'd tell people you're going away for 2 weeks and you should be feeling much better by then. Just a little tired and drained. Going through detox really takes every bit of strength you have so it takes a while to get out of the groggy haze but most of the initial nasty side effects should be gone by then. After the 2 weeks you can just tell people you're tired from ur trip or getting over the flu and they'd buy it

Thanks again Nikki. About two weeks... that's really helpful. You are so kind to take the trouble to do this. It sounds funny but it's my mum I need to avoid. She is selfish and rings me every day and plays the guilt trip if I don't talk to her. I love her because she is my mum but I dislike her very much xx

You're welcome Drew anything I can do to help. No question is too silly to ask me.

I know where you're coming from with the mum thing. My mother is also quite self centred and believes she is always right. So I know what it's like to deal with a difficult mother lol

At the end of the day though you need to do what's right for you not her. She will still be there at the end of it even if you don't call her every day. Take care of you that's your number one priority

Thanks Nikki. What is it with some mum's? If I don't do everything the way she sees it, she punishes me. I dislike it and wish I could just cut off from her completely. I am 54 and she still tries to make me feel small. She has no tact and offends everyone with her comments xx

I think it's just the luck of the draw with parents. Some people are blessed. Some are not.

My mother and father have left me carrying a lot of emotional scars into my adulthood that I don't think will ever go away. I can only hope that I do not pass these onto my kids when/if I have them.

If my mother ever got along with anyone it sounds as though it would be with your mum. She also has no tact and hurts a lot of people with her words and actions and refuses to acknowledge or take responsibility for how she makes people feel. She completely blindsides all the hell she put myself and my sister through which hurts a lot. It's so easy for her to forget or ignore what happened. I only wish it were that easy for me and my sister.

In the past year or so I've grown to realise that although she would like to keep the upper hand, I am no longer a child. I do not answer to her and I do not need to live my life to please to her. Unfortunately my sister is much younger than me and is still in her grasp.

I think the best we can do is not pass on or spread these habits to others, which is often easier said than done.

Hello Nikki. Thanks for your honesty. I have only just begun to realise what a devastating impact my mum had on me and my siblings. My sister hasn't spoken to her in 10 years. She couldn't not take it any more. Still my mum refuses to accept any responsibility for the breakdown. I have really started to look at it because of the affect it's had on me. She is exactly as you describe. I found this article on narcisstic personality disorder. It is my mum to a tee. She punishes and threatens if people do anything she doesn't agree with. She also forms her opinions on weak evidence. She never says sorry and the word 'love' is not in her vocabulary. Horrible xxx

What is great Nikki is that, after reading what you said, I feel it's OK to feel as I do about her. I have always felt guilty about feeling bad about her but she is horrible and damaging and I need to address it. Not with her... she never would accept it and will punish me if I critize her. I have to address it within me xx

Drew it as if you were describing my mother! She has never once said the word sorry to me and my entire childhood up to the age of about 25-26 never told me she loved me. This has had a dramatic impact on my views regarding my own self worth and has shown through in my relationships throughout my life. My mother is a master manipulator and uses guilt as her weapon. I cannot remember a time when she didn't make feel guilt over something. I am still easily manipulated by guilt from others to this day that it eats me alive. My mother has always harped on about how awful her mother was to her only to repeat the same negative pattern. It's time to break the cycle.

I would say express your true feelings to your mother as I have but if she's anything like mine it'll fall on deaf ears. The response I got from my mother, "that never happened"

Nikki, your mum sounds like mine so much. She uses guilt all the time in every respect. Us siblings all have 'approval' issues. We desperately seek approval. She often used 'divide and rule' tactics and set siblings against each other. She once asked my brother to beat me up. If we did anything she didn't approve of she would put us down hit us or insult us. Deeply personal insults sometimes. I grew up fearful and lacking in confidence. I experimented with alcohol at an early age to overcome my insecurity. Let me know what you think. It has helped me see that I am not going mad and that I am dealing with a mother who has a personality disorder. Much love Drew x

 

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Drew you are so right. Our parents are our first form of contact. They shape and mould us from birth. Children are so impressionable and to have certain behaviours thrust upon us helps determine who we become. For instance, having never met my father after he left when I was two left me doubting myself and growing up never feeling good enough. As a result this has followed me into my adult life. My mother also contributed to these feelings by never saying she loves me. I still sometimes feel as though I don't deserve to be loved by people even myself.

Try thinking of your thoughts as a book. Each time we tell ourselves we're not good enough or we are worthless we are etching these words deeper into this book until they are "permanently" tattooed in our minds. Once this occurs it is very difficult to break this thought pattern, but it can be done. It sounds super cheesy but I have a journal that I write particular mantras in. So each week I'll choose a new one, write it down and then every day I'll constantly repeat this to myself in my head. Thus re writing my negative thought patterns. It does take time and dedication but it works.

Something that helped me regarding my mum was reminding myself that whilst she is my mother and brought me into this world, I am under no obligation to let her hurt me because of this fact. Being related to someone doesn't give you an all access pass to destroy them.

Also, I pm'd u my email address let me know if u didn't get it.

Thanks so much again Nikki. I think that is super advice. I do tend to feel obligated because she brought me into the world. If I am totally honest, if she were not my mother, I would not have someone like that in my life xxx