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not want to leave the house

Posted , 13 users are following.

susan556
susan556

OK theres been so miuch said about how the menapause is affecting us ranging from physical to mental problems, im asking do any of you ever  feel like you dont want to go out anywhere,  even somewhere nice! i dont think ive been out my front gate on my own for at least five years now, i only go out with hubby to the car, walk along to the bank, pop  into a couple of charity shops then home, neighbors have commented about this to each other, whats my problem. going up mums tomorrow to stay for the weekend then home on Monday, love to see her and spend time with her but im glad to be home again.

 

4 likes, 33 replies

33 Replies

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  • maria73432
    maria73432 susan556

    Posted

    Yes I can very much relate to what you are going through. I am usually a physically active and social person, but the last two years I have enjoyed my own company the best. I consider it a good day if I dont need to go out and I am ok even when the phone doesn't ring... Hope this is only a phase and won't be like this now from now on, but certainly enjoying my in time at this stage in my life...

     

  • marlene21102
    marlene21102 susan556

    Posted

    Susan my mum was exactly like that good few years  maybe about 4/5 ,didn't know at that time it was menopause,we 3 kids were still at school ,think she felt as you say Safe ,but prior to this happening my dad had just suddenly died .so brought I believe early meno at 42 .My looking back now she had it really bad me and my eldest sister have mentioned how bad she had it and panic meno attacks ,now I know how she felt .  What you feel will pass as it did for my mum  back then you were left to cope on your own ,not much improvement today ,but now there are these sites to get on and chat to others as you have .helps clear your thoughts hearing others get these issues .not so scary in your thinking then .Your get by this ,just another hurdle to jump over ,you will to .
  • sprohop
    sprohop susan556

    Posted

    I do go out but prefer to be at home feel more secure and safer.
  • susan47122
    susan47122 susan556

    Posted

    There are times I just want to stay home and not go out anywhere but I would not make it a habbit because it can cause more problems you can become depressed and have more anxieties. Being active in a social group would be good than just staying home all day 
  • caroleUJ62
    caroleUJ62 susan556

    Posted

    Hi, I am totally the same. I have been quite agraphobic for several years anyway, after spending years travelling the world, particulary the Far East. I lived and worked there for severl years.

    Now I am stuck in a provincial town, and because I cant drive for medical reasons its a long story -but  basically because I was attacked some years back and went on anxiety medication and have a real struggle - still - coming off it. My drivintg licene was revoked because I simply couldnt come off the stuff. Stayed in all the time, lost contact with practically all friends and most of family.

    Have a very understanding husband and very lively 17 year old son, who I have to admit completely exhausts me.  If I mention that I feel rubbish all the time to him because  I'm going through the menopause - well its pointless - he looks at me like I'm from another planet.

    Last year I went on a foreign holiday with my husband and son for the first time in a few years, and it stressed me out so much I cant currently contemplate going on another one, = not until I'm through the menopause. Getting all the awful of this at the moment, - you name it I've got it.  The worst thing ever.

  • teresa58143
    teresa58143 susan556

    Posted

    hi yes im having problems at the moment i feel miserable im 51 years of age dont kniw whats wrong with me
    • susan556
      susan556 teresa58143

      Posted

      Hi Teresa, awfull isnt. Is it only recently youve felt like this? Are you menopausal?

      Sue 

  • teresa58143
    teresa58143 susan556

    Posted

    Hi SuSan I feel weird not sure when to be in or out I'm 51 everything feels weird I was bullied a few yrs ago and it affected me really badly and I can't decide what's right and what's not if u know what I mean

    • susan556
      susan556 teresa58143

      Posted

      Teresa  thats awfull you being bullied and  how long ago was this? I ask if your going through the menapause or brewing up for it as this alone can give us all sorts of unwanted emotions and may be this thats giving you the reminders of being bullied. The bullies probably had their own unidentified issues which is why some of these bully others but no excuse. Are you married,? any children?
    • teresa58143
      teresa58143 susan556

      Posted

      Hi SuSan thanks for replying I have a partner and a grandchild well I have 4 but not allowed to see others cause they line in Glasgow and I'm in England my son doesn't speak to me cause I left his dad. I have a daughter she is lovely. My partners my rock. SuSan how can u decide what u want to do and when u want to go out I'm confused because of the buoys it happened 16 yrs ago but it's still I'm bedded in my mind and I'm scared of ppl x

    • teresa58143
      teresa58143

      Posted

      Can I also ask you SuSan why do ppl say that they are never in their houses why bother having one then my main issue is trying to decide what's right and wrong does it matter if I don't have BBC parties in summer does it matter that I spend a lot of time watching TV on my own in the house my brain is frazzled with knowing how to get bk on track . What's your main issues x

    • susan556
      susan556 teresa58143

      Posted

      Teresa  i think a lot of the way we  feel and cope  depends on our upbringing too. If one was like loved by both parents and treated kindly and encouraged to have our opinions politley given then we grow up into happy confident adults, but if your bought up with a very strict father who didn't want kids anyway and memorys are of that being slapped often, told to be quite and picked on and blamed for things you didn't do, spend all your school years in fear of every body, teachers and other kids, always being told you lack in confidence and as kid never taken out anywhere then your hardly going to delevope onto this bubbly outgoing adult.  I had my first baby at 17 and went onto have another 4, this was my life, staying at home looking after and bringing up five sons.   Hubby working all hrs to manage, all week and weekends.No such things as family tax credits then or money for kids with ADHA. ect The only people i saw was mums in the school playground and my mum would try and pop down to visit or id go up hers. We never had a holiday in 46 years of marriage.  Its become very much the normal for me to be indoors 6 days out of 7 except when i stay up mums once a fortnight since dad died four years ago. We do get the bus and go down town, tour the charity shops and back home again, I cant face going out anywhere on my own, i dread the doorbell ringing if im on my own and know it isnt one of our sons calling. Sometimes i even dont want to go out the gate and put the rubbish out!  How silly is that! Ive read about others feeling this way when approaching the menopause and thats ones that prior to this were happy confident women as well.   Yes im like you, happy to stay in, my hobby making reborn dolls. We shouldnt be made to feel we are abnormal in anyway as long as we are happy thats the main thing. I think its others attitudes that make us feel somehow we arnt quite right, some thrive on going out, enjoy their own company, well i dont and im known in the neighborhood as the lady who never goes out.  But im also known as the lady who is kind, friendly and helpfull by many on the doll forum i belong to. I can easily chat away on line. as not face to face. x

       

    • teresa58143
      teresa58143 susan556

      Posted

      Yea that sounds exactly like me I moved from Glasgow to England for a better life cause it's more green if u know what I mean having a back garden has helped me a lot cause if it's sunny and I'm not going out I can sit in then peacefully on my own

  • Wannaflbttr1
    Wannaflbttr1 susan556

    Posted

    Hi Susan,

    I relly WANT to stay in, but i force myself to go out.  I mostly dont want to go out because im afraid i will not feel well and it will be embarrassing, etc, etc.  BUT i also am determined not to waste the time given to me on this earth,  so I make myself go...on whale watches, parties, concerts, work....sometimes I feel awful, but never once have i passed out or caused a scene.   I do love staying home, but even today im going to a friends 40th birthday party and i feel like crap right now, but if I have to leave by ambulance, so be it.  I am not letting this THING keep me from living my life. That is the way i handled it and i know this way may not be for everyone, but i refuse to add agoraphobia to my list of things to conquer.   I am a social person so i miss being around my family and friends bit I realize it may not be the same for everyone!

    • teresa58143
      teresa58143 Wannaflbttr1

      Posted

      How do u decide when to be in or out how do u switch of from bullies it all scares me and affects my work I would appreciate any help plz
    • susan556
      susan556 teresa58143

      Posted

      Hi Teresa its me again, I think the decision to be in or out depends on for one thing the weather and another thing where you intend to go,and who with. With me its going out on my own and to places where there's crowds, i dont mean like shopping centres i mean a family gathering  where your exspected to chat and feel at ease where you havnt met some of them before. i never used to be like this, would think nothing of walking out down town and back on my own.But then i didn't have to converse with anyone for to long, your in a shop and out again. As for switching off from bullies these ones generally attack many others as well, its what they do, Try to see it as a pass event,Who knows now maybe they even feel some remorse for their actions. i dont know what they did to you or said so of course i cant know what impact this would have on you but are the two connected in some way, the bullies and going out?  You say its affecting your work, were you bullied at work? I do ask my hubby lets go for a walk but it never happens so most the time im indoors. Would yours go out with you even if its only for a walk.

    • teresa58143
      teresa58143 susan556

      Posted

      Hi yes I was bullied at work by a workmate she analysed everything in my life so I bought a tent so I could live outside cause she said u shouldn't be indoors if it's sunny so when March comes I take panic attacks. Yes my partner will do anything for me I left my husband cause he wouldn't help me . It's so confusing I'm not a ppl person cause of the bullying cause I'm scared of it happening again.

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