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About 2 years ago after the death of a child I started using more opiates. This has become a serious problem. I'm going to run out and am terrified. I am taking 2,10mg vicodin and 2 soma (strong muscle relaxer) at a time just to keep from getting sick. Sometimes I take more. I also take Oxy as well - 10 mg tablets. Sometimes I take 20 to 25 pills a day from the time I wake to the time I go to bed. I do have back problems and legitimate pain, but I admit I'm using it to cope as well. I think that's what has gotten me into trouble. My last refill I gave my bottles to my husband so that he could lock them up and give me my recommended dose each day so that I wouldn't run out ealry and go through hell. Well, he took them. himself. He knows what I'm going through and that I've felt suicidal over the loss of my child (not his child) and that I'm really trying to get better and he took them. Now I'm almost out and I don't know how I will cope. I'm sad and so broken. I feel like no one is there for me. HOW can I get through this? WHAT can I do? I would have been better off keeping my bottles and being strong and only taking the prescribed amount because now I'm screwed and I'm just so upset. Any advice? I'm scared and I do have another child to care for and no family support so I can't check myself in somewhere. Withdrawal will hit hard and I don't know if I can cope with it.
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