Consequences and what is rock bottom for an alcoholic?

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Rock bottom: I've lost everything more than once and I mean everything. Wives, homes, business's, friends, money - everything. Almost my life.

Consequences: Trouble with authority (no police record), debt, major illness and years spent re-building after gaining sobriety.

Who believes that our self will is one of the main problems?  

 

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  • Posted

    Yes and no.

    I never lost my wife (rather unfortunate that), I didn't have a business to lose, but I was never sacked from a job, because I never drank whilst working and started work promptly everyday. I never got into debt, perhaps because I have always earnt enough money to pay for alcohol and I don't have any other vices, such as drugs, smoking or gambling.

    Illness did come to me, a stroke, of which no doubt alcohol played its part. I tend to keep far away from the police, so no trouble and I was a happy drinker, mainly social.

    I perhaps have more self will than some people, after I learnt what the process was that was going on with me and how I needed medical help (drugs)* to bring me back to normal. I certainly wouldn't have done it through talking to people, in fact both at the stroke rehab hospital and the alcohol recovery centre, I eschewed group therapy, because it does absolutely nothing for me.

    People can talk about self will,as if we should all have it. But that is like saying, we can all be what we want, if we try hard enough and really want it. Which isn't true, not everyone can become an astronaut or brain surgeon and if are physically and vertically challeneged, you are never going to make the front or second row of a rugby pack, no matter how much effort you put into it.

    So, self will is something that some people have and some don't and it is not something you can teach to people. You need to alter the situation for every personality. Unfortunately people in the alcohol recovery centres are not usually qualified enough to get to that level.

    * You would normally have to drag me kicking and screaming to take medications, and that includes ibuprofen, but for recovering from drinking, I realise that it is different.

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    • Posted

      I get your point. With regard to my self will, I'm really thinking about my attitude towards my wives and business...... and lots of other things too; you didn't mention it but my aspirations didn't match my abilities. Therein lies the defect with my self will which was one of my worst problems; it still rears it's ugly head sometimes.

      Sorry about the stroke, I had a life or death experience which may recur but being sober helped me to deal with it and I dont think much about it now.

      I lost it all especially financially because I was always too drunk to function. Sobriety came along and I was able to turn things around.

       

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  • Posted

    RHGB do you miss your occations when you wen to pubs and like that. Did you too drank every day? I have not drank for 2 days but I am quite restless now so I have been eating 2 cookies and yesterday say a film. I am use to bee lite dissy and now i am not. I am trying not to drink until weekend. I have alot of fat around my belly...It because of all beers every day. I hate it...
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    • Posted

      Yes, I miss going down the pub and having a chat with people over a few beers, or maybe quite a few beers, and yes, it does make me sad sometimes. There was a rugby match on last Saturday afternoon, and I bet the pub was packed with people watching it and enjoying themselves.

      Yes, I drank every day.

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    • Posted

      Yes It it not the same sit on a bar drinking a soda its boring then I rather be home are you the same? But at the same time drinking every day is not good for healthy or pocket. If I drink to much on fridays I am tired and lacy and boring doing things with my dogs and that is sad too because they deserve a better life than an owner who is tired from drinking every saturday...
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    • Posted

      This is what I fear,the boredom.What replaces the drink?

      I briefly became indifferent to alcohol using Baclofen and it was the best feeling,not even wanting a drink,looking at a nice glass of wine and not even wanting it.But it wasn't the way as its not licensed and side effects are awful so I persevere with naltrexone

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    • Posted

      Hi bibi,

      I've just posted to your original post.

      I see you've sent a similar post about missing being in bars to RHGB too.  

      A few weeks (I can't remember exactly how long now) before I became sober I only didn't drink when I blacked out or got a little sleep. Yes, I used to drink everyday for as long as I can remember.

      I lived in a halfway house for aprox' a year and then rented a small flat/apartment closer to my mother who was stil alive then of course.

      I didn't go out with friends at all for months. I was too worried about starting to drink again than missing nights out with friends. They passed my flat on their way out shouting through the letter box about me being an old washer woman. ha ha.

      I did start to go out eventually, had to put up with all the jests and jokes made about me not drinking. I became their taxi driver so at least I got the use of their cars until I got my own.

      I always left the bar/pub when they got drunk and stupid; I remember thinking that I used to be like that.

      RHGB mentioned rugby; I went to a lot of live matches and watched them again and again on video at home. Then things changed for me when I changed.

      I hope you get well. Get some help bibi.

       

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    • Posted

      I would not go in a pub (bar) to drink soft drinks (soda). It is a waste of money, you are around people enjoying themselves drinking, you may as well be at home. I have a dog and she will not let me forget to take her out for walks.
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  • Posted

    In the summer sitting on a restaurant taking a beer in the sun...the problem is that I dont want taking ONE I want to take at least FOUR...

    But I am going to still eat Naltrexone the worst period starts soon when the summer comes I go out with my dogs I want to stop take something on the way and that is not a Soda its always a beer (sometimes wine but i drink wine as fast as it was beer so get drunk and I am afraid of my dogs lifes they are small they can get killed If i get to drunk).

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    • Posted

      Hi bibi,

      When I was confident about my sobiety, I went to bars and pubs to enjoy the conpany of friends and to enjoy the atmosphere. It was the only social outlet they were interested in and was certainly my playground since my mid teens although I did enjoy other outlets such as ten pin bowling, playing squash, watching rugby and taking part in other activities. I iiked going to the cinema - another example that suited me.

      It took me awhile to feel comfortable and ignore the jibes and was happy to sit with a soft drink. When they got drunk, I always left. My friends were happy to go to cricket matches and other sporting events where they could have a few beers knowing that the final destnation would be the pub.

      But, that was their scene; I was the recovering alcoholic not them so I found other things to do and concentrated more on my musical studies and business and found other things to do.

      Being in a bar with a soft drink came naturally after awhile and there are so many pleasurable things to do in this big wild world without alcohol.

      Alcoholism is, for us, a critical issue but it isn't everything. From time to time, I need to bolster my resolve; that's one reason I'm here but I decided early on not to spend all my life dealing with it; I wasted enough of my life drinking and recovering from it. 

      Yesterday for example, i did some work and then went on an island hpping boat trip. Maybe I digress but i do live in a beautiful and affordable place where I wake up to sunshine everyday for most of the year; unlike the gey skies of England and the Swedish climate although both of those countries are beautiul for the most part.

      Dealing with your addicton is your priority but once achieved, there are so many wonderful things to get pleasure from without alcohol.

      There are people on these forums who are wise, intelligent, knowledgeable and give good advice better in some cases than I can despite my having years of experience. I hope people recognise them.

      Who'd have ever thought that I'll soon be going downstairs in my restaurant to check the beer situation without a second spent thinking about having one myself. 

      Best wishes, I hope you can soon make a breakthrough.    

         

       

       

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    • Posted

      I read an article yesterday in the paper that people who started to drink when they were sober for a long time it was not because like people think "ok he choise to drink again" no it was because his tool in the brain was not working IT Was because of SOCIAL STRESS...My brother told me yesterday he dont want me to drink at home because he can stay sober for 4 weeks but then when he see that I have beer in the fridge he feel it would be good to take some then he have to stay at home from work for a week because he cant stop drinking...I am not like that...but I have to think about him he is my twin brother...We want to do things with our dogs in the weekends not have hangovers ...then the dog suffers because we are lazy to take them out for long walks.
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    • Posted

      Hi bibi,

      I think it doesn't matter what it says in the papers at the moment about anything to do with anyone else.

      I think the major issue you should concentrate on is to get yourself well and that appears to be a need for you to get some medical advice and help as soon as possible. 

      You're in a dangerous situation; can you and would you get someone else to take care of your dogs while you get some help?

       

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    • Posted

      I do have help by my medicine and support by my brother. I eat Naltrexone and I dont want any other help. I got help 2 years ago by a advicer but that was not my way to go. I want to do It my way. I dont want to stop but I need a long brake and when I drink I need to take a Naltrexone 1 hour before I drink. No I am not in a dangerous situation I use to drink much more 4 years ago. With Naltrexone I dont drink as much as I use to do. I am going to take a break...I have not been drinking since saturday so I am glad...every day is a battle but I work every day and I dont want to lose my job.
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    • Posted

      Hi bibi,

      Glad to hear you're not in a dangerous situation and good to hear you're steady with your job. I just wonder why every day is a battle for you?

      I hear that Naltrexone is a winner for most so it's obviously right for the route you've chosen to take.  

       

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    • Posted

      Because the alcoshop is next door and In my head i am thinking "should I take some beer why not....then why when I look at my big belly-beer...I feel ugly horrible....then I thing at my economy....then again I think mayby ....or why not ...and so on...or have you overcome that kind of thinking...My cousine stopped because the doctor said he cant drink anymore otherwise he will die....that is another story than I should not drink...but now.....yes...no...yes...no....
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    • Posted

      Yes, if you have been drinking heavily for many years, alcohol effects your mind and body. If you stop drinking (with or without medication), your body still crave alcohol (PAWS or post acute withdrawal syndrome).

      What this means is tha alcohol has changed your mind and body and you need a long period without it to return to normality. Because often people who give up have a craving that comes back with a vengeance, then they end up drinking even more than they did the first time around and it becomes even harder to quit than before.

      That is why I take a medication called Campral, it is for people who have given up drinking, but it help their body and mind relax from the thoughts of alcohol. This has to be taken for 12 months to allow the 'hold' that alcohol has, to copletely leave the system.

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    • Posted

      Hi bibi, 

      I did not and still don't know much about Naltrexone and I didn't know you were taking it until today (I think). 

      joanna seems to be the expert on this subject so may I suggest you follow the advice she has already given to you as you and I seem to be talking around the houses.

      I'm sure she can help you more than I can.

      I can and am more than willing to share my experiences and knowledge with you but I do think you should talk to joanne or someone else who knows about the methods you're using. 

      I'm not really the right person although of course I will do my best to support you.

      Best wishes.

       

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    • Posted

      Hi bibi,

      yes, I overcame that way of thinking.

      I sent another post suggesting that you follow joannes advice as I know very little about Naltrexone or the method you are using.

      I don't wish to keep repeating myself but I am happy to support you in other matters I know about. 

      best wishes, 

       

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    • Posted

      Hi...you asked about rock bottom...I know alot of people talk about quitting when they reached their rock bottom.  I quit for 8 years before...didn't really hit the often talked about rock bottoms (losing job, family, jails or institutions).  I was just sick of being sick all the time.

      ​This time...the same thing...I'm just sick of alcohol making me sick and the only way I can feel well now is to not drink.

      ​Some people ask me if they have a problem...and what I tell them to ask themselves. Is questions like:

      ​Is alcohol affecting my life, relationships, job, health? If it is in any way..than it is a problem.  Once they have a problem identified...they can chose to pick a quit date....prior to losing any of the above mentioned conditions. sad

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