Posted , 18 users are following.
Hi, I'm Rachel. I have had anxiety, panic attacks and depression since I was about 10, developed extreme agorophobia about 2 years ago, and discovered almost a year ago that I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
I'm 16 years old now (born March 7, 2000) and have been having stabbing chest pains and chest discomfort in the left side, tightness, jaw tingling, leg tingling, and arm tingling.
This all started about 5 months ago. The first time it happened was in May at about 3 A.M. I was convinced I was having a heart attack and going to die. I woke up my mom and told her my symptoms, and she told me it was only my anxiety, gave me 1mg of Klonopin and had me go to bed. I was still having the symptoms when I woke up, so I called her from work and asked her to please come home and take me to the hospital or Urgent Care to check my heart (I do not drive, due to anxiety, panic attacks and agorophobia). As a concerned mother, she came home and took me to Urgent Care right away. Since I was so worried about my heart, I wasn't troubled about leaving the house.
When we got there, the nurse checked my blood pressure and said it was a little high (I don't remember the exact numbers), but my mom said it was probably because I was anxious. They then gave me an EKG and said that everything looked totally fine and it was just my anxiety giving me those scary symptoms. They prescribed me Celexa (I think 20mg) for depression and anxiety and Klonopin for panic attacks. I dealt with constantly feeling like I was going to have a heart attack for about a week, but then the feeling slipped away. I still had anxiety on and off, but no heart attack-like symptoms. After a couple of months of taking my medication as directed, I ran out of pills. Due to my agorophobia, I didn't want to go back to the doctor to get prescribed more pills, so I didn't go back. I was off any sort of pills from about the middle of August to about 2 weeks ago.
About 3 weeks ago, right when I was about to fall asleep, I had a single palpitation that caused me to have a full blown panic attack that last about 5 hours. It was definitely the worst panic attack I have ever had; I was crying, having heart attack-like symptoms and was vigorously shaking and could not stop, and I threw up somewhere in between those 5 hours. I didn't wake up my mom this time because I knew in the back of my mind that it was just anxiety, not an emergency. After that night, I was having anxiety all day every day, and after about a week of it, I told my mom that I couldn't take it anymore and we needed to go back to the doctor as soon as possible.
2 weeks ago, my mom took me to Urgent Care once again (I insisted that there was something wrong with my heart and it needed to be checked again, so we went to Urgent Care instead of making an appointment). We went into the room and the nurse checked my oxygen, which was was 99%, and my blood pressure was perfect; 118 over 72, I think it was. That made me nervous though because I had anxiety in that moment and I hadn't eaten that day because I felt like whatever I ate was going to kill me, so did it mean that my blood pressure was usually low and it only seemed okay because my anxiety raised my blood pressure? No idea, but it freaked me out.
Anyway, they decided not to give me another EKG because the doctor insisted that I was fine (which I disagree with and was very disappointed that they weren't going to give me another) and this was happening because I got off of my anxiety medication cold turkey. They prescribed me 60mg of Prozac and 1mg Klonopin to be taken once or twice a day for panic attacks. I've been taking my medication as prescribed, but I've only been feeling worse. I feel my heart attack-like symptoms all day, and they are at their worst at night, so that's when I take 1mg of Klonopin which slightly calms me down (I don't want to waste them; I want to go to the doctor as little times as possible).
I haven't been eating very normally at all because I'm worried about my heart as well. Throughout the entire day, I eat about a cup or so of strawberries or pineapple, one packet of Quaker oatmeal, sometimes an avocado, and will only eat one or two small pieces of skinless chicken for meat (if my family even has that for dinner, sometimes I don't eat dinner at all) because I know all of these things are labeled as heart healthy. I am way too scared to eat anything that is not labeled heart healthy, but I am not eating enough, especially for my body weight.
You might be thinking "This girl is totally fine! She is young and her doctor said that her heart is okay." But the thing is, I am only 5'4 and 400 pounds, so it is only natural that I am so worried about my heart. I have been overweight my entire life, probably due to me not being very active. I don't eat very large amounts or very unhealthy food, but I am morbidy obese. I have never been very active, and I am extremely sedentary now due to my agorophobia. I wish I could just get out there and start going on walks to try and make my health at least a little better, but it is too hard to get myself to leave the house because I'm afraid of it.
I have no idea what to do at this point, and am terrified that I am actually feeling heart failure symptoms. While I had anxiety last night, I checked my blood pressure and it was 148/78. Not good!!
Sometimes, I won't even feel anxious until I get a stabbing pain or discomfort in my chest. Can someone with anxiety get a random pain due to anxiety, but not feel other, more typical anxiety symptoms (shaking, hot/cold flashes, upset stomach, racing thoughts) until they feel pain?
I appreciate any sort of help you can give me. Thank you so, so much if you read this entire thing, and I'm sorry if it was rambly!
2 likes, 30 replies
rachel3700
Posted
Ugh, I just had a really startling twinge in my chest. It's so hard to try and believe that I'm not about to have a heart attack. The left side of my jaw feels a little weird too.
alex0820 rachel3700
Posted
I'm Sorry you're dealing with this. A couple of things: get u ur blood work checked to rule out any iron or ferritin deficiency as anemia can I often cause scary heart symptoms (I know flirts hand lol). Secondly, ou should eat more however of a HEALTHY diet that a would aid in you losing weight and getting your levels normalized (if they are indeed off). I'm 23 noww but I had crippling depression and anxiety when I was around your age often taking trips to the ER. You are young, I'm sure your heart is fine although you would benefit from losing weight, and bare in mind th R you can have period of highs blood pressure without actually having high blood pressure you remind me a lot of myself at your age. I completely flipped my life around by boxing and eating very well. I gained confidence and noww im going into law enforcement. Don't think that you're going throug"heart failure" (not realistic at your age) just realize you aren't in the best place right now I'm physically and emotionally. I understand th feeling completely but u can overcome it. I'm living proof you can. I am active healthy happy and feeling great each day and I pray that you can start on a healthier journey. I suggest joining a fitness class or gym where you can start working on yourself, don't be afraid Of change darling. You're so young, you have so much to look forward to thatis NOT anxiety.
rachel3700
Posted
Feeling really bad right now. Weird on and off left side jaw, face, leg and arm numbess/tingling, and chest tightness. I kind of want to go to the hospital or something but I'm scared to.
Anxietysufferer rachel3700
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Do not hesitate to go to the hospital! If you fee you need to go to the hospital (although im pretty sure its a panic attack ) GO! Even if you're not sure. Listen to your body! If the tests come back negative, then you should be reassured that its not a heart attack! When you get the symptoms again try to reassure yourself that you're going to be ok and that this will all go away. If you cant reach the hospital for some reason... Then call 911. Or 999 in the UK. But i really feel like you're just thinking too much about it.
daniel91307 rachel3700
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daniel91307 rachel3700
Posted
Hello Rachel,
I'm so so so sorry to hear what your going through and can completely sympathise with the heart attack symptoms, I get them regularly along with dizziness, short of breath etc. It's horrible and can only imagine how difficult it must be for you not being able to leave the house either, as I benefit from going on a walk with my headphones in when my symptoms start to flare up.
I'm also over weight and panic daily about my heart and eating the wrong things, but still I remind myself that a balanced diet is fine - "if I want a donut, I'll have a donut and then I'll eat a carrot" 😂 that's just how my mind works to balance it out. Stay away from any caffeinated drinks - NO tea, coffee, energy drinks even fizzy drinks - they make your anxiety rise. Also stay away from alcohol - just because you feel great whilst drinking because the drunk feeling takes over but the hangover the next day will make you feel three times worse.
Excursive Is a big bonus and helps loosen anxiety and depression because of the endorphins that pump through your body after a work out. Maybe start some low key work out in the house? Up and down the stairs just a half an hour routine every day and slowly build up? I'm sure this will help with your agoraphobia too as when the weight drops off your feel more confident. I'm slowly trying to loose weight myself so I know how hard it can be.
Another tip is counselling, I personally haven't had this but I've heard it does wonders for anxiety. Remember to always talk out your feelings and symptoms and any new symptoms that come just go get them checked to clear your head, that's what I do.
Keep you head up and remember your not the only one. Don't let it beat you! Stay strong. People on here are always here to listen!
Reasta10593 rachel3700
Posted
I feel like this too so your not alone infant at this moment of I feel like this I've had it for a week now been a ecg scan everything was fine still waiting on my bloods coming back anytime I feel anxious I come on here for reassurance that might sound daft but it help knowing other people feel this way I'm currently on propranlol 20mg and mirtazapine 45mg
rachel3700
Posted
Little updater-- Since I posted this I have been doing better, and have even lost weight. The last time I got weighed, it said 399, and now I'm at 365. My doctor said I am on the right track and to keep up the good work.
I was doing totally better, up until a few days ago. My grandmother just passed away, and I'm having those really bad symptoms again. I keep trying to tell myself that it's just my anxiety, but it's very hard to believe.
dalene63026 rachel3700
Posted
Congratulations on the weight loss!!! Citalopram has put 30 pounds on me in a 1.5 years! Ugh doctor suggested Wellbutrin helps you loose weight! I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother 😞 I love mine 6 years ago still breaks my heart. Hang in there you are going to have some anxiety it will get better!
neil52380 rachel3700
Posted
Hi Rachel,
I have suffered with anxiety with a gentle sprinkle of depression since the age of 10 also, I'm approaching the tender age of 46 next birthday! Over the years I have had the heart attack worries,tumor,stroke you name i've thought it! I know what its like, the constant worry cycle. Its all very consuming, it takes over everything; but hey I'm still here!! How do you beat it? Truth is it's all about learning to accept things and being able to laugh and say ah F@#k it! I don't care about it anymore!! To youself, sounds easy, its not. You have to find what works for you, there are lots of opinions, most are unique to the sufferer. In my case counseling and fluoxetine helped, counseling tought me how my brain works and the 20mg of fluoxetine to give my head a rest so I could take it all on board. Your sixteen years young, a wonderful life waits for you when you beat this! You can do it!! Take your time, you have to get your confidence back, you have to believe in yourself, your not going to have a heart attack its just your anxiety, its part of the fight or flight response. Your agoraphobia can be helped with cbt (cognitive behavior therapy), when you get out and about you will loose the weight, It won't happen overnight either. One of the things that helped me was being able give myself a pat on the back and saying well done to myself, no matter how small the achievement. I treat my anxiety as a playground bully. The more I stand up to it the more I beat it! Yes, it still knocks me down from time to time but I get up and carry on. Do things that make you feel better, even if you feel you can't. Also stop checking heart rates etc, it will not help you, your heart is doing just fine! Hope this helps, best of luck
sarah62173 rachel3700
Posted
For the first time in my life I don't feel so alone. Reading this brought me to tears because its as if I wrote it. Everything you worry about and deal with is EXACTLY what I go through everyday. I'm not sure what to really say. I just feel as though I found someone that gets it. I'm so scared of the future and living my life and its so sad. I cry for the person I use to be. I use to enjoy life and laugh and then one night I just became this mess of a person I am today. Between the weight and anxiety issues we share the same fears. I just don't know how to get through it. I'm tired of going to the hospital. I'm tired of crying and feeling like this. I just want to be normal. I'm not strong enough to deal with this. I'm so tired 😩😩
racheld1975 rachel3700
Posted
From one Rachel to another, you are not alone!!! To answer your question, YES, you can just have one symptom of anxiety or you can have them all and more. Everyone is different in how their disease manifests itself. My worst symptoms are all chest pain and discomfort related but I get a few randoms to keep me on my toes from time to time. I started having anxiety symptoms when I was around 18 years old, even though I wasn't diagnosed until I was much older. I have been suffering now for well over 20 years and I relate to so much of your story. I have been overweight my entire life and the doctors usually write everything off as well if you lost weight you wouldn't feel this way. I was in the 150-200 lb range at your age and very active despite my weight so I didn't think it was my weight alone causing my symptoms. I have felt like I was having a heart attack or going to drop dead from chest pains and various other symptoms thousands of times. I was just in the E.R. last week and had all kinds of tests run again for the umpteenth time, all normal of course. I have been in and out of therapy and tried just about every medication they have. Nothing has relieved my symptoms 100% but I probably felt the best I ever have in the past 20 years when I was on clonazepam, amitriptyline, and escitalopram, with xanax for emergencies during a full blown panic attack. That was a few years ago and I have been unable to be under a doctors care due to financial issues. I don't have a solution for myself yet but maybe something I say can be of some help to you. Your blood pressure is going to be high, especially when you are in pain or having anxiety symptoms, keep telling yourself that. Try NOT to google your symptoms, it will always tell you that you are dying or you have some horrible disease, that just makes your health anxiety kick into overdrive. I know from experience, uggg. Try to look up how to cope with anxiety and anxiety symptoms, what works for one person may not work for everyone but you never know until you try. Try everything, meditation, breathing exercises, herbs and natural remedies, grounding exercises, are all good to start with. Even if they don't help they definitely won't hurt. Find a good psychiatrist and/or therapist, find someone you can talk to, sometimes just getting it off your chest and having someone tell you that your feelings are valid helps. Talk to your psychiatrist about trying different medications, voice your concerns, and be active in your own treatment. Not every medication works the same for everyone, you may have to try a few before you find one that helps, you may have to play with the dosages and combinations for a while. I have never experienced full blown agoraphobia but I had it mildly when I was having attacks all day everyday for a few years, I was scared to leave the house in case I dropped dead in public, how embarrassing that would be lol. I think about it now and the best thing I ever did was come to terms with the reality of death and to accept if I was going to die it wouldn't matter where I was or what I was doing, I realistically couldn't stop it no matter what. I still have times where I feel worse than others and would rather stay home but I try not to let it take the living part out of being alive. I want you to know you are not crazy, this is not all in your head, this is not something you can simply calm down from, you have an illness and it causes very real physical symptoms. I hope that you find something to help you deal with your anxiety disorder, you will have good days and not so very good days, never give up!!! I have faith that one day there will be a cure for this horrible disease but until then I am going to fight it kicking and screaming along the way. Best of luck and God Bless!!!
jennifer8381 rachel3700
Posted
I'm sorry you are so young real Omg with this .. it's crazy tho I read your article and it describes me except I'm 36 ..i was very obese all my life but I lost it I'm 175 now n 5'2 ..ive spent much time going to hospitals for EKG..they say I'm good it's anxiety ..but I feel like you ..i thought I was alone .. I too have the same questions you do ..
jennifer8381
Posted
Arik22436 rachel3700
Posted
Hi Rachel. So my name is Arik (weird way to spell it, I know), I'm 17 currently, (same age as you I guess) and I have been experiencing the same exact symptoms as you for about a month now. The last time I went to the doctor, I was about 260 pounds, and I'm sure this is the reason that I fear for my own health. Although I have no family history of either heart problems, or diabetes, I still believe there's a possibility that I could have heart problems. The first time I had a panic / anxiety attack, I was just dosing off at about 10:00 at night. I thought I was absolutely going to die, and fealt my heart racing for way harder than I thought was healthy since I was just laying in bed. I looked to the internet to try to explain the smothering, tight pain in my chest, and the fact that my entire body felt weak and numb. My head started to spin when the first thing I saw after clicking enter was a heart attack warning, telling me to call 911 immediately. After this, I started to feel much, much worse. My symptoms became more extreme, my mind couldn't stop cycling through all the bad things that could happen to me, and even though I felt hopeless, I wanted to run. I wanted to scream for help. But I didn't, because I was so certain I would die, and so worried about how petty I was going to be during my last moments. I eventually worked up the courage to wake up my mom, and tell her what was happening. She assured me it was only a panic attack, and tried her best to calm me down. My mind was so overwhelmed with dreadful thoughts, though, and I couldn't get ahold of myself. After hours and hours of non-stop shaking and heart palpitations, I finally fell asleep. The next day, I felt horrible. My mouth was dry, and I had a bitter taste on my toungue. It was almost like I was sick, but without any outside symptoms such as a runny nose, or feeling like I was going to puke. My insides just fealt weak and muggy. After that day, I started to get used to the nightly feel of "impending doom", until one evening, I started feeling it before I went to bed. I came downstairs to be closer to my family members, just in case something did happen to me that time. I started telling my mom what I was feeling, and after a while, she seemed annoyed with my constant nagging of what I should do. It got to a point where I was certain I would have a heart attack at any moment, and I begged my parents to call 911, so I could get immediate help. I didn't care that it might have been just another panic attack. I just wanted to be sure I would end up okay. Eventually my mom decided that even though it was about 9:00 at night, she would take me to the doctors office around the corner, and she was definitely not happy about it. When we got there, (after about an hour of agonizing waiting) my doctor told me it was just a panic attack, and their was nothing to worry about. It felt 10 times better hearing it from a professional, but the attacks never stopped. In the back of my mind, I wondered if he had made a mistake, and that I could have a heart attack.
To this day, I am still having panic attacks, and still wondering if their was a mistake in my diagnosis. After searching the internet for some sort of comfort, I came across your story. It truly made me feel like I wasn't alone in this, and that maybe all this fear is just meaningless self harm. It actually just got me through my previous panic attack. After reading this, I made an account on this site, just to respond to you. I guess its weird to respond to your problem without giving you advice, but I do want to thank you for writing your story, because it very much helped me understand that my problem is not unique, and I hope you understand that too. There must be many more people who have experienced the same thing, and feel relieved that they aren't alone. So thank you so much for writing your story, and I just want you to know that you aren't alone either. I bet there are many more people out there feeling unsure whether their diagnosis was right, and I know there will be many more people that will come across your story and feel just as comforted.
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