This is such a long shot here, never have done this but I am so desperate I honestly don't know what to do, I have severe anxiety which is causing major panic attacks & just crying all the time. I'm in a lot of pain & very uncomfortable. I've read a lot of these kinds of forums but wanted to make it personal. So I've been constipated off and on for a while, I'll go a few weeks sometimes even without going, or going once & when I do they are horribly huge hard & painful bowel movements. It's got me so honestly afraid to go through it again even if I know I need to. I had a baby 4 months ago & since it's just been worse. As of right now, my situation is that I have only went maybe once in about maybe 2 weeks, I'm not even sure. I want to go so bad. Sometimes I have urges but when I go sit down it's like they almost go away & I try to push so hard & barely even nudges. & when it does, it feels so huge & unbelievably hard like it'll hurt. & lately when I push really hard, only wet brown liquid type stuff comes out. Like I am honestly scared to death & I just can't do anything at all but I get so exhausted from the anxiety that I lay in bed while my husband has to do everything. Then I wake up back at it again. I've been taking Miralax for a few days now, plus these equate stool softeners but that's it. Not really wanting to eat anything either. I am so afraid right now & I almost want to go to the er. I know of enemas & laxatives but to be honest just a little afraid to take those bc of 1. The pain of passing the stool scares me so bad like thinking it could be just way too big & 2. I hear a lot of that stuff just adds a tremendous amount of stomach pains. Someone please help or maybe someone who's been in my shoes can help me?? Please I truly need relief but this is probably stupid..