copd can anyone give advice

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Hi I am new to this site infact I have only just joined, I really need some help and advice the reason for this is about four years ago my husband was diagnosed with moderate copd, the doctor said at the time within two years he will have severe copd if he didnt stop smoking, well four years on he is still smoking, most days he is very breathless especially inn the mornings, he walks up the stairs really slow and where we used to walk normally to the shops he now says to me go on ahead and I will catch you up he accuses me of walking too fast, he lost two stone in weight and has had a cough for months, he refuses to go to a doctor as he fears what they will say, he has bad mood swings and I dont know what I can do, a few weeks ago he went to the doctor saying he had a cold the doctor gave antibiotics and said he should have an xray but he took the antibiotics felt a little better and refused the xray a week later the cough was back, I work trying to keep my house going as my husband cant work we get no other help, he says he feels ill his heart races, he has pain in his back and chest and sometimes gets sick if anyone can give advice what I should do to find out what stage my husband is at or anything at all I am just exhusted and i dont know how much longer I can cope I am a cleaner and only have a low wage and I am trying to pay all household bills and morgage with this i would just like some advice on treatment and what to do concerning my husbands health.

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  • Posted

    Hi Christine

    Sorry to hear what you are dealing with, my heart goes out to you.

     I have moderate COPD. Quite often, I feel, that people with COPD forget what their partners have to go through because, generally we are to obsorbed within ourselves as quite often, people with COPD generally have other problems. I know I do.

    There are times my partner gets a bit fed up with me as there are very few things I can actually do with her if she wants to go out. I use to get offended by it, but now, I just think,  "Can't really blame her, it must be boring for her at times"

    It does seem to have advanced form of COPD, unfortunately he will probabaly keep on getting chest infections. Some people do.

    You can ask your GP practice to forward you to speak to someone that might be able to help, unfortunately, your doctor cannot talk to you about your husband's ailments because of patient confidentiallity, unless your husband as told the practice otherwise.

    If he is that stubborn to seek any medical attention, there generally is not much you can do, unfortunately. Is there any family or close friends that can talk to him ?, because sometimes you will find that he might open up better to someone he is close too but not living with.

    What medication is he taking?

    Get back to us when you like, sorry I could not be of more help.

    Kev  (UK)  sad

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Kev,

      I know that this is true he has a purple inhaler, a brown and blue and has had a red one, it is really difficult and at times I cant believe our lives have changed into a nightmare, I met my husband at school and we have been together since., I tried to get help from his mom and dad and tried to let them know what was happening but it got a bit akward and I have said nothing since, I look at him all the time and think he looks pale and wake up at night to listen to how he is breathing,there are days I think  he doesnt look that ill, them someone will comment on him, I just want him to have proper treatment and to see how bad his copd is, we are on no benefits as he will never tell people how ill he feels. Thank you for replying to me

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  • Posted

    Hi again....I too suffer from copd and I still smoke ....not many though.....he sounds the same as me.....I have finished a course of antibiotics.....steroids.....and I had a chest xray last week...I still have the. Chest infection quite badly.....last week I could barley breathe...( very unsettling. ) ...... I know how hard it must be for you lovey...my family worry all the time about me....

    I too have lost a lot of weight and have a permanent cough......

    Could it be that he is maybe scared to find out how bad his chest is ? I am sure that he uses inhaler's ect....

    My husband has a remarkable new preventive inhaler ( purple. ) .

    He has been amazing for a couple of years now....and he was REALLY really bad....

    He should be able to claim benefits for being unable to work also for needing help with everyday activities..... tell him to apply he is entitled to them...you can also claim a ( carers allowance ) as you do very many things for him.......my heart goes out to you lovey......big warm and sincere hugs to YOU BOTH lovely......take care both.....respect xxxxxxxx

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your kind words, he is on inhalers he also has a purple one, it is really difficult we end up arguing and yes he is scared of what he might find out, I am as well but feel we need to know I just want him to get proper help as he has changed so much, he's very forgetful, and has mood swings I try to keep him calm so it wont affect his breathing, I find it really hard to deal with but Thank you so much x
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    • Posted

      Please refer to inhalers by the medicinal name and not by color!  There are people on this forum from all over the world and the colors vary from country to country.  Thanks.
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    • Posted

      My "blue" inhaler could be something entirely different in another country.

      It's ventolin. 

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    • Posted

      Wasn't trying to be mean Christina.  So I'm looking at my inhaler right now and it has a label taped to it from the pharmacy which clearly shows the name of it, when it was purchased, Dr.'s name, the date, etc.  Also, if you don't have that on your inhaler, if you pull the actual cyclinder that has the med. in it out of the inhaler, it should be marked with the name?

      Here in Canada it comes in a box which clearly shows the name, etc.

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    • Posted

      I don't suppose all partners inspect their other half's prescribed medicine or remember the names of medicines that are prescribed to others.

       

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    • Posted

      Pardon me.  Didn't realize it was her husband's meds she was talking about.  A pet peeve of mine when people refer to inhalers by the color of them instead of their proper name. 
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  • Posted

    First thing your husband needs to do is to stop smoking, his copd will advance much quicker if he doesn't.  Seems that he isn't open to medical help, ie. wouldn't go for the chest x-ray.  Unless his attitude changes, he stops smoking and decides he wants medical intervention, there really isn't a whole lot that you can do.  I'm in Canada and the doctors here are not happy and will go as far as to say that if they hear your'e a smoker and have copd, they tend to not "care" as much as if you were a non-smoker.  Guess they figure if you don't care and continue to smoke, why should they care?  There are some good suggestions for you from other people that are living in the UK.  Good luck with it all.
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  • Posted

    Hi christina34941

    I'm going straight to the point Christina, if your husband refuses to go to a doctor its a very difficult situation.  He needs proper assessment and medication to suit his needs. Only a medicaly professional can recommend the course of treatment and prescribe the drugs.  At least this is the situation in UK.

    If your husband carries on as he is, he most definitely will get worse, especially so if he is still smoking and without the prescribed medicines he could end up on hospital with respiratory arrest.  I guess you could communicate to him the dangers of going untreated and not getting the proper care and prescribed drugs that he needs to breathe and remain stablet and you could also add, with the proper medical tests and care there is a good chance he can stabilise his condition given the right medication, attend pulmonary rehabilitation and stop smoking and enjoy a better quality of life.

    I do hope your husband will choose to get help for himself.

    Its a big worry to you but if your husband wants to improve his health situation he really needs to seek the help he needs so he can achieve easier breathing and an improved quality of life.

    Perhaps if you said to your husband you will go with him to the doctor and will support him throughout.

    If you are on a low income do approach the benefits agency and say you are caring for your husband.

    Whatever country you are residing in do approach the lung foundation helpline for their advice and support.

    Best wishes V

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you for replying to me, I have tried this also and i have said I would go with him but he still refuses to go, and I realize the danger he is in when I try to talk about it he goes mad and doesnt want to know I think he is on borrowed time, and if Im honest I am hoping that he will be taken into hospital so he will get the treatment he needs, I have an appointment with our doctor on my own to explain what is happening and if there is anything he can do, to get him to go to see him. Thank you for your help

                                                    Christina

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    • Posted

      if your husband does end up in hospital unable to breathe, that may be his real wake up call.  I can understand its a real worry for you. Good luck with the doctors appointment Christina, I think it will be helpful for you to chat with the doctor about the situation.  

      Best wishes V

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