copd can anyone give advice

Posted , 12 users are following.

Hi I am new to this site infact I have only just joined, I really need some help and advice the reason for this is about four years ago my husband was diagnosed with moderate copd, the doctor said at the time within two years he will have severe copd if he didnt stop smoking, well four years on he is still smoking, most days he is very breathless especially inn the mornings, he walks up the stairs really slow and where we used to walk normally to the shops he now says to me go on ahead and I will catch you up he accuses me of walking too fast, he lost two stone in weight and has had a cough for months, he refuses to go to a doctor as he fears what they will say, he has bad mood swings and I dont know what I can do, a few weeks ago he went to the doctor saying he had a cold the doctor gave antibiotics and said he should have an xray but he took the antibiotics felt a little better and refused the xray a week later the cough was back, I work trying to keep my house going as my husband cant work we get no other help, he says he feels ill his heart races, he has pain in his back and chest and sometimes gets sick if anyone can give advice what I should do to find out what stage my husband is at or anything at all I am just exhusted and i dont know how much longer I can cope I am a cleaner and only have a low wage and I am trying to pay all household bills and morgage with this i would just like some advice on treatment and what to do concerning my husbands health.

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  • Posted

    Hi Christina,

    ​I'm hoping my comments won't upset too many but, as a male, I'd like to suggest an alternative route to help you both.

    ​We men pretend to be big strong guys but, behind the veneer we are actually frightened little boys who want to run to Mum for some assurance that everything will be okay!

    ​So, when we think we might be seriously ill we panic, we get scared and suddenly all logic leaves the room. The whole concept of doctors becomes a negative situation so we do everything possible to avoid them.

    So how we you break the negative cycle? Well, to begin with you have to remember that while we are feeling really negative about the doctor you keep telling us that we must stop smoking – just another bit of negativity!

    We actually want someone to bring some positivity into the cycle so how can we do that?

    My suggestion is, for now, forget his smoking habit which will stop the negativity of constantly telling him something negative then, using information from this site, start telling him about the positive experiences of others here: how the doctor gives medications that make life/living better, how pulmonary rehabilitation has helped so many by understanding their condition … if he gets to PR then he will be surrounded by others who have either stopped smoking or are wanting to (that might just be the positive encouragement he needs to actually stop himself).

    Once he’s diagnosed, receiving treatment and has a few positive moments in life then, in my humble opinion, it will be time to tackle the difficult issue of smoking but, until then, any attempt to stop him will have the opposite effect.


    I know this puts yet more pressure on you (in your difficult situation to have to search for positives when life must feel very negative right now) but hopefully it might in a couple of weeks start to show some signs of improving the situation.

    Sorry I ramble on so long but I just thought I’d try and give some suggestions from the male perspective and another approach to the problem.

    Whatever happens and whatever he & you decide to do I wish you both all the best.


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  • Posted

    Hi Christina,

    I keep a fairly regular check on all forum COPD topics. I find many of them quite moving, striking a sensitive chord during my own attempts to find a solution or two. (I think I have already made it clear that I have only myself to blame after 50+ years of moderate/constant cigarette smoking.)

    My first step was to abruptly cease the habit. The only thing I miss about it is the perceived enjoyment. Otherwise I have not regretted it, nor have I had any craving to light another cigarette. So there is something to be said about having a strong mental attitude. I have recently written on "Can it be reversed?" The consensus seems to be a definite "no". I am not so sure.

    One new area I am experimenting with is vitamin A complement. By that I do not mean overloading the liver with supplements, causing further damage. Although already a fairly heavy consumer of two listed vegetables I shall be filling up on a carotenoid-rich diet of carrots, cantaloupes, sweet potatoes and spinach. It is noted that a derivative of vitamin A called all-trans-retinoic acid injected into adult rats regenerated their alveoli. The alveoli sacs' damage are, of course, at the very root of our problems. I certainly will be increasing consumption of the produce, although cantaloupes/sweetmelon are hard to find at the moment.

    I am not suggesting for a moment that eating four disparate items on their own is going to solve our problems. However, by adding them to your husband's diet without saying a word, may start a healing process. 

    Unfortunately, a single step on its own is not enough: we all have to stop smoking, get all the exercise we can, and get help together with medication. 

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    • Posted

      ,Hello David,

           Thank you for your comments, it has helped a lot to read other peoples veiws, I dont think my husband will ever give up smoking he knows how ill he feels and evan when he is struggling with his breathing he will light a cigarette I just find it really difficult and feel like Im watching him kill himself, I have been trying to cook healthy things and I ask him almost everyday to come for a walk to get exercise but most times he wont go, Im fighting a loosing battle and can only now keep trying to help him and hope that he may go to see a doctor.   

                      Thank you Christina

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    • Posted

      Such a difficult situation you are in Christina, I feel for you, your post nearly brought me to tears.  I had every excuse in the book not to quit smoking, tried to convince myself that the cigs weren't really doing damage, when knowing the whole time it was the absolute worse thing I could be doing with respect to the COPD.

      It wasn't easy to quit, but I did it.  Still crave them to be honest.  Do you have family support?  Hope you do.  Do you think your husband could be suffering from depression?  He seems to have given up?  Again, I hope that is not the case.  What about bringing up with your doctor the possibility of depression?  Shoot.  Just read your last line, so he won't go and see a doctor.  Will he talk?  I know men find it difficult, some do, to talk and open up about their feelings.  I am hoping and praying that your situation turns around for you Christina.  (my youngest daughter is named Christina).  x

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much, and yes I think he is depressed and he is hard to cope with at times, due to mood swings I really have tried what I can and that is why I am now going to see the doctor for help, I dont have family support really I tried talking to his mom and dad, but it didnt work out well, I joined this forum to try to get advice and the people have been really kind and it has helped talking to someone who understands.

         Thank you Christina x

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  • Posted

    Dear Christina,

    Sorry to hear about your problems. It sounds that your husband is not going to take any advice at the present moment in time and you may have to wait until he is admitted to hopsital for a thorough medical and advice. I somoked until 12 years ago and gave up when my first wife died 12 years ago but still got COPD two years ago.

    Ask your GP if he would visit or asign a nurse to visit..

    I hope the mood swings are not gicen to physical hurt or emotioanal towards you. if you feel endangered ther are other support groups. 

    I have to go out now but will read your letter again and continue.

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  • Posted

    Hi Christina,I myself has c o p d,I'm female age 54 i to am a smoker,I know exactly how you feel &I know how your husband feels,

    i struggled to with awful breathlessness for such a long time,I myself struggled to go upstairs,I couldn't go to the loo or have a shower that I felt tired & breathless,

    I had used the same Medes for yrs &a I got so ammuned to them that they didn't have the same effect,so I went to my doctor,he prescribed different meds,to which some had no effect or that they made me worse,so my doctor said I have to try what other meds their is available as there will be ones that work for me,

    very true my doctor was,he also gave me a nebuliser,which I use once a day usually 1st thing in the morning,but I believe it can be used up to 4 times a day,with the new meds I had never felt better,I could walk upstairs,shower,do the garden etc,

    so maybe your husband needs to get updated Meds if he hasn't already,

    having copd wears you &a your partner down,I know I'm living it,it's a horrible illness to have,

    also I would like to say as you had mentioned that your pay is the only pay coming in to the house,has your husband not tried to get disability benefit,having copd is classed as a higher rate disability,also if your husband needs help getting around,needing help with showering,needing a hand to dress,anything that you need to help your husband with puts him in good stance also for an additional disability benefit such as the middle rate & lower rate,you may well be eligible for all 3 rates,

    its worth applying for Christina @

    & if you for I hope you & your husband are sucsseful in applying.

    i wish you all the best &a good luck

    regards Sheila.

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