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Cost of trying to get through !!

Posted , 5 users are following.

angie86937
angie86937

been on df118 for bout 14 years now. I've read all posts and know what it feels like when you can't get through a morning without feeling sh*t. Then because I have to get on with my daily house chores ect , what do I do ? I reach for the majic little pills and pop 6 at once. Hoorah I'm back to normal). Then few hours pass and I need the pick up again so I can do my house work and run a family home. I'm 42 years old and I'm ashamed ). So I take another 4 tablets. Where will this end?. Anyone else just like me ?. I thought it was just me till I read some of the posts. I'm no different am I to a junkie on the street ?. I don't steal from anyone , I wouldn't do that!. I have lots of knee pain which they don't even touch the pain anymore. I take cocodamol as well for knee pain but no buzz with it . My tolerance is ridiculous.  Be grateful if anyone could tell me bout if they are similar situation to me. Sometimes it helps to know that your not on your own. 

3 likes, 28 replies

28 Replies

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  • nick25620
    nick25620 angie86937

    Posted

    Hello Angie, I've been posting on another thread here and just saw your post. It's very common I'm afraid. I'm about two weeks without, it's been a roller coaster ride. At my worst I was on 40 a day but this last time I was taking around 15. Anyway, just wanted to say hi. I wish there was a place where everyone here could post in a simple thread, I find the set up here quite confusing!
    • angie86937
      angie86937 nick25620

      Posted

      Thankyou so much Nick just for your reply. I can't understand why when we are taking an amount like 40 we don't die of shallow breathing. Any ways that's another thing for another day lol.     I'm not doing well at minute !!!. No will whatsoever . It's not like I haven't got a loving family around me either , it's me letting it rule me !!. It's stronger than me isn't it ?.  It must be .    Goodnite and blessed to everyone on here. 
  • nick25620
    nick25620 angie86937

    Posted

    Hey :-). How ya doing Angie? There are a couple of us over on the "Need Help With Withdrawal" thread if you fancy dropping by. It's gone quiet the last few days. I'm on day 18 free from the beast. Still have a lack of motivation but feel better. Hope you are doing good. 
  • angie86937
    angie86937

    Posted

    Well done Nick you're doing amazing . I once did two weeks opiate free and thought I'd cracked it for good. Can't remember quite what went wrong. I'm ok I've reduced to 10 daily which is still not good but maybe I'll get there eventually !! Lol. Thanks nick for your reply. Everyone on here is so nice and helpfull. X😄
    • nick25620
      nick25620 angie86937

      Posted

      Well done Angie! If you can keep reducing you will get there! I'm kinda losing count but I think it's three weeks for me tomorrow! Never thought I'd get this far! Still low on energy, though today was much better. Hoping it's better again tomorrow. Still sneezing and have a blocked nose but that's not a huge complaint I guess.
    • angie86937
      angie86937 nick25620

      Posted

      Hi nick ,I can remember one night it was quite funny actually. , I was just sneezing constantly . I was almost there and then I relapsed and ended up back to the tablets again. I personally don't think il ever get of for hem completely. Il be shot down for saying that lol. There's always a temptation with me . I'm the same with dieting , I can loose loads and look really good and then months later I'm back on the junk food. I believe it's called having no willpower lol.🍰🍩. Anyways I'm down to six Dihydrocodeine a day at the moment which I'm ok with. Sounds strange but even when I'm typing the word of the tablet I feel embarrassed and cross with myself. Anyway love to all and keep strong .😇💊 xx
    • Freedom1009
      Freedom1009 angie86937

      Posted

      Hi Angie,

      sorry, I've been very down & not been on here for a while, just wrote over on the page Nick mentioned!! Are you still on 10 a day? I thought I would never do it, one of the reasons I went quiet was BC I started taking an extra 2/3 in Afternoon (along with my 6 in morn) Hopefully you'll read what I wrote but basically had enough, Thus 4, yesterday 3, today 3, can't wait till I get to one & none, it's not been that bad, no Wd's to speak of, the urge to stop is getting stronger than the urge to take!! I really hope you've managed to drop one or two a day by now, but hey, if you haven't there;s always tomorrow smile I just saw you did 2 weeks free before, been there as well, this time I'm staying there, for me, for my Children & Granddaughter smile Have no choice! Well I do, but I choose to be ME again & those dammmmm pills change me.....Honestly Angie, you know you can do it, you've done it before, trust me I know how hard it is to get clean then think " house is a mess, 2/3 tabs I'll get it all done" slippery slope, VERY slippery.... Can't wait for the day when we both are Free, like Nick & James...We'll get ther sweet, you'll see....Haha this site has helped me in the fact I don't want everyone getting clean & me being the only one who isn't smile Hope your ok, hope to hear from you soon. lotsa luvs ((((hugs)))) xxxxx

    • angie86937
      angie86937 Freedom1009

      Posted

      Hi freedom , no I'm up and down at moment. Felt really crap like I had a cold coming on so of course I've been having about 8 a day. No excuses but I can do without feeling grotty. I'm too busy to sit down and do nothing ( if only ) lol. I always seem to pick up loads in late afternoon , anyone else like that ? .  You know sometimes I think it's a case of you know you can reduce down but you don't want to !!!. Me anyways). Still can't believe how many people are in the same situation as us . Anyways on a light note , Happy Easter to everyone , I will be eating lots of Easter eggs but hey who cares , lol.🍫👍🏼Love and hugs to all. Xxx
    • Freedom1009
      Freedom1009 angie86937

      Posted

      Hey Angie, sorry to hear your up & down, I've been the same, gave myself a bloody black eye yesterday, punching myself, struggling, not with the Wd's more my depression & PTSD I think, stupid cow I am lol....Can you find the thread Nick mentioned, she is amazing & will help you, I believe she gave me the strength to finally do it, so far Wed 7 (stupid) Thus 4 Fri 3 Sat 3 today 3, tomorrow I start 2, I get 28 on Wednesday but will be asking for less, I plan to be off completely within 2 weeks (PLEASE) Yeh I used to pick up as the day went on even though I would only take 6 in the morning, only recently did I start taking an extra 2/3 in Afternoon, coming on here helped, seeeing people had been taking 30/40 a day, that scared the holy poo out of me, knowing how easily that could of been me!  I understand your needing 8 a day to get through, but maybe you could go to 7 now, even for a week, then 6 & so on, your tolerence drops as you do...When I 1st took 4 on Thus I still had a 'buzz' weird when 6/8 wasn't given me one!! I totally understand the 'knowing you can start cutting down but don't really want to' I've been addicted a few times, & when your down or not feeling well it's so easy to say "oh another day won't hurt" but it does, I got down to 2 about 2 Months ago, but within a week or so I was back up to 6....My goals are to be the BEST Mum & Grandma I can be, the healthiest I can get, get a smile on my face, spend more time with my beautiful little Family, they are all I have & most importantly for Sarah to come back, I loved me, yet I ruined me....THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH THIS!! Oh Angie I wish I could help you, Nick helped me, I know in a million years I wouldn't be down to 3 now if it wasn't for her & finding these forums!! I hope your cold is getting better, wrotten Wd's are bad enough without feeling ill on top of it!!

      You say you can't believe how many people are in the same position as us, there are SO many, not just DHC but oxys & others!! Angie, you can do this, you can, it's so so hard but the end result will be amazing smile When were you last opiate free? Please write back soon, I want to help you..A lighter note here, addicts helping addicts, sounds silly yeh, but we are the one's who know the best, not Dr's not drug councellors, US the one's in this mess!! Eat every last bit of chocolate you can get your hands on, stuff it.. Like James with his Rosie, we all need something to buck us up....Always here sweet, we will get there, we will be free smile Lotsa luv Sarah xxxx 

    • angie86937
      angie86937 Freedom1009

      Posted

      Sarah you are a very intelligent woman , so sori to hear about your black eye , (bless ya).  I've been ok today to be honest and have only had 6 tablets. That's good for me. Yeh I'll be tucking into some Easter egg this evening without a doubt. Yes this is an amazing help just writing posts to each other whether you had a good or bad day. The encouragement gives you a kick up the bum. It's about a year ago when I managed to do 2 weeks being opiate free.  I haven't had a time since when I've thought I really must do this. Well actually I have but not enough to think rite lets do this !!.  Thanks again for your kind words of encouragement , you are a very caring lady. I thought that Nick was a guy lol. Never mind). 😂 Love Angie xx👌🏼
    • Freedom1009
      Freedom1009 angie86937

      Posted

      Haha, we all thought Nick was a guy, I doubted it but when James kept calling him bruv, I thought he was lol...Nick is so lovely, like I said I'm in this place because of her...

      Got my script a day early, would of been 24 but I asked to drop to 20, I just took 3 sad hurt my foot yesterday but dam it, co codamol would of fixed the pain, aaaahhh I'm so angry with myself, down to one a day, then boom!! I WILL be back to one tomorrow!! When I see Dr next week I will be saying I don't want ANY I just don't want the temptation!!!

      Glad you enjoyed your eggs lol..

      Ang, are you ready to start coming off? like me 6/8 is a pretty normal prescribed dose (obviously spread out) people on here are on 30/40 a day, that must be hell on Earth,but look at Nick, 25/26 days clean, wow, & she was taking at least double ours!!

      I'm always here for you & would love to help you when your ready, in the meantime we can still chat, talk about our days, good or bad, no judgement here!!

      Stay in touch!! Sending many many virtual hugs & lots of love

       xxxxx

       

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