could do with talking to someone

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As you may have seen through other posts I was prescribed mirtazapine but due to side effects of swelling and muscle ache my GP has changed them to Venlafaxine 75 mgs daily. I have taken them for 1 week now. Not had any problems switching from one to the other.  Yesterday I was at a christening and although at first I felt no one cared I quite enjoyed the day.

Today I didn't want to get up this morning, but I was due to for some voluntary work at a cafe. When I got to cafe I wasn't really needed. I could have stayed but we would have been falling over each other so I decided not to work. If I had done what I was normally used too doing I would have been ok, becsise i would have been busy and my mind would have been occupird, but because of the situation I just felt not wanted. Yes I know it was stupid to feel like that so I thought I would go and do some shopping. I managed to break a vase in a big chain store, staff were fine and said it didn't: matter and proceeded to clear it up. However all I did was stand there and started crying. I felt so stupid with myself. 

I eventually managed to compose myself enough to drive home. Now I am sat here thinking how do other people present with depression. I feel I am a one off and I wish it on myself. The thoughts I have when I am alone are always negative and that provokes a feeling I am doing myself no favours (which I know I am not,) but I just don't seem to help it. I just want to be happy but I am not. I have said too my GP I have wondered if I have a form of bipolar but I do not have the extreme highs.I just feel so low today I don't feel life is worth living.

Thanks for listening

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  • Posted

    Hi Hun bless u seems like a pretty full on day .. But well done for actually getting yourself out that's a massive achievement I havent managed to do much today  at all after feeling so rough coz of these stupid tablets :-( how long were u on the mirtazapine before they changed u to venlafaxine x
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    • Posted

      Thanks I do go out even if I don't really want to coz I know it is the best thing I can do. A big problem I have is telling people how I really feel as I feel all the people I know as well as my friends and even my husband are not intetested. This has been a very big issue for me for such a long time so I just don't say anything. I don't think I will ever be really happy again. I have had odd days when I'm was really happy such as my son's graduation in the RAF on his 21st birthday in June. Other times I've had good days., but when I get home my mood quickly drops.

      I was on mirtazapine for 8 weeks 15mgs.

      I don't even tell my Gp as usually when I go I am usually not feeling too bad.

      Sorry for going on and on it is just a bad day tomorrow will be different.

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    • Posted

      U have no reason to b sorry Hun this is what this forum is for ... I know what u mean tho I feel the same but I gotta try and think that maybe 1 day I will feel happy and learn to live with it rather then it take over my life like it does at the moment .. I'm thinking that mirtazapine is maybe not for me am struggling with the side effects by the time I start feeling human again it time to tKe another tablet :-/ hope u start to feel better soon and hope tomorrow is a better day xx
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  • Posted

    Diane, we all have low days, even the cheeriest amongst us. You will have days when you feel people see you just as you want to be, helpful, considerate and kind. Make sure you are warm to those folk as they need your praise too. Life can be a bitch but savour the good moments. Find quality things to do when you are on your own. Good things don't always cost money. Find a mindfulness app and try some of these gentle,positive exercises they are sooooooo good for you. Find moments that are good and love them.

     

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  • Posted

    I always seem to have a 'better' day when I go to the docs. However it is important to make the GP aware how low your low days really are. For some including me depression can be very inconsistant. I have days where I feel almost 'normal' while other days or even later that same day I feel so bad I can bearly speak to people.

    Venlafaxin on a dose of 75mg (normal starting dose) only increases Serotnin to a meaningful level. Increasing the dose to 150+ will start to increase nor-epinephine. Increasing your dose may well have a more positive result.

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    • Posted

      Thanks Tony I like my Gp but having worked with different GPS for most of my working life I know what they can be like when patients leave the consultation. I shouldn't tarnish them all with the same brush but I don't want to be one of those patients who GPS find annoying. He has never given me any reason to think he doesn't believe me, but I don't really believe myself there is anything really wrong, and that I don't really need medication. I imagine people think I am making everything up and should just get over it. I just wish God would take me then I won't have to live this lie

      Sorry Tony hope you are on the right road to revovery .

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    • Posted

      Feeling this way is very common with mental health. I believe to be be combination of the depression making feel and think negative. Remember, you don't know what other people think any more than they know what you think. Please don't worry or consider if others believe yyou or not. I have been down that road and it only fuels the negative spiral.

      You said you don't feel anything is wrong. Please read the last line of the main paragragh you wrote above. If you felt ok you would not feel like this. Are you religous or did you use god to paraphrase? If you believe in god, he has not taken you because you are worth as much as deserving of happynrss as everyone else on earth.

      If religion is not your thing then please just remember, You Are as Deserving of True Happyness as everyone else around you.

      Life can be hard sometimes and in this day and age many of us lack the support network around us to help us though it. Taken meds may not be the idle situation but it may help you get through the cloud to brighter days, and thats a good thing smile

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    • Posted

      Hi Tony you do speak words of wisdom, thank you. Just at the moment I feel i am on a downward spiral, since changing to venlafaxine 75 MG's. My sleep pattern has changed at the beginning I would waken but go straight back to sleep but last night after being on it 1 week i was awake most of the night but come 7am could sleep no problem which isn't a problem but I hate staying in bed till nearly lunch time.

       I'm not due to see my GP for another 3 weeks. I make myself go out ( skills taught through CBT) but I could very easily just stay in and do nothing. 

      Am I religious at the moment I don't, feel very Christian like, but when I am in a better frame of mind my faith can be very strong. I have just removed a Gold cross I had made from my mum and grandma's wedding ring. Even that doesn't appear to give me any comfort at the moment.

      Will grin and bear it document my feelings then go and see my doctor. 

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    • Posted

      What time do you take the Venlafaxine? Changing the time you take the second dose of the day may help with your sleep (normally it a twice a day tablet) If you can guage how you feel a couple of hours after taking the pill (stimulated/drowsey etc) it should help you decide when best to take it. 
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    • Posted

      I am only on it once a day but. I will do what you suggested and take particular note. The last couple of days I have actually made myself to out only into the village where I live about 2 hours after taking the tablet but I cannot say whether I felt more stimulated or not. Thanks for your advice.
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    • Posted

      Venlafaxine should normally be taken twice a day. This is because it has a half life of only 4 hours so if you took it in the morning by the evening it's out of your system and you'll be running dry so to speak, which could trigger withdrawal symptoms until your next dose. You could half the tablet and take over two doses. Discuss it with the gp, gps will often give you a call back on the phone for quick checks like this. Especially if there are no appointments left.
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    • Posted

      Hi Tony, The  tablets are prolonged release so should not be broken. I am going to give it a bit longer and take particular note and record  my mood after I have taken the tablet before I see Gp.
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    • Posted

      Ahh ok, I didn't realise they came in slow release. In that case the short half life is not so relevant. Good luck with the gp.
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    • Posted

      Hi Tony I have said you speak words of wisdom, well I am in a bit of a quandary, I feel I am getting worse, since weekend I have been having black thoughts. I haven't mentioned this to my husband as yet. Timing just not been right. Earlier this evening I was having  thoughts of self harm, but now they are not presenting as a problem. I don't know whether to phone Gp tomorrow or wait and see if I have thoughts tomorrow. I'm wondering whether it can be the change of medication and have to give Venlafaxine a bit longer (taken for 2 weeks)...literature says there can be an increased risk of self harm with Venlafaxine but there again it also says that with other antidepressants when first starting treatment. Gp does want to see me again in about 2 weeks (smack bang in the middle of christmas period) but I was hoping to hold out till after Christmas, because I don't enjoy this period of time and wondering if once Christmas and new year has passed whether depression may start to lift. Hope you have more words of wisdom. I do know that I have to make the final drcision .
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    • Posted

      Hi Diane, I'm very sorry for the delay in coming back to you. For some reason I missed the notification. If you feel you are at risk of self harm you should discuss it with the GP at the earliest opportunity. Ask the on call doctor to call you back if you cannot get an appointment. Why haven't you spoke to your husband? He may be able to help you. .

      Are you still on 75mg a day?

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    • Posted

      Hi Tony no problems. I have spoken to Gp on phone yesterday he has increased Venlafaxine to 150 mgs. I didn't tell him about thoughts as I was in a busy shopping centre when he phoned me. I have still got to go and see him, but me being me know there are others out there far worse off than me who need to be sorted for Christmas, mine is just getting it into my head I am OK. I have my 2 boys home next weekend one from RAF and other from London met. Its probably going to be our last Christmas being just the four of us together so I am trying to focus on a good time.

      As regards thoughts of self harm yes I do think of it but I also feel I am strong enough not to do it.

      I will go and see Gp hopefully I can say straight after new year then I know how the  Venlafaxine is dong. If I go too soon all that will be said give it a couple of weeks too work.

      Hope you have a good Christmas.

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    • Posted

      Remember, thinking you shouldn't feel down becuase someone may have it worse than you is like saying you shouldn't be happy because someone is happier than you.  Do you see the logic?  Others may be worse and others may not but at the end of the day you Are enetiled to happiness and peice of mind as much as anyone else.

      I hope the increased dosage helps. Have a good christmas!

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