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could do with talking to someone

Posted , 5 users are following.

Desperate_now
Desperate_now

As you may have seen through other posts I was prescribed mirtazapine but due to side effects of swelling and muscle ache my GP has changed them to Venlafaxine 75 mgs daily. I have taken them for 1 week now. Not had any problems switching from one to the other.  Yesterday I was at a christening and although at first I felt no one cared I quite enjoyed the day.

Today I didn't want to get up this morning, but I was due to for some voluntary work at a cafe. When I got to cafe I wasn't really needed. I could have stayed but we would have been falling over each other so I decided not to work. If I had done what I was normally used too doing I would have been ok, becsise i would have been busy and my mind would have been occupird, but because of the situation I just felt not wanted. Yes I know it was stupid to feel like that so I thought I would go and do some shopping. I managed to break a vase in a big chain store, staff were fine and said it didn't: matter and proceeded to clear it up. However all I did was stand there and started crying. I felt so stupid with myself. 

I eventually managed to compose myself enough to drive home. Now I am sat here thinking how do other people present with depression. I feel I am a one off and I wish it on myself. The thoughts I have when I am alone are always negative and that provokes a feeling I am doing myself no favours (which I know I am not,) but I just don't seem to help it. I just want to be happy but I am not. I have said too my GP I have wondered if I have a form of bipolar but I do not have the extreme highs.I just feel so low today I don't feel life is worth living.

Thanks for listening

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  • bernadette54902
    bernadette54902 Desperate_now

    Posted

    Hi Diane,   dont imagine you are the only one who thinks the way you do....the important thing is, get as much support as you can and do the things which make you happy, as often as you can...things do change .... not just for others but for you too
  • patrick46161
    patrick46161 Desperate_now

    Posted

    hi Diane, yep know what your talking about and know this you are not alone. sometimes we want a diagnosis so we can excuse ourselves to the "well" to be honest we people who have depression are strong because we dont hide it, i sometimes watch people on the train or bus and think are they happy or they just have not admitted to themselves that is ok to feel down depressed. I am not saying that for some depression is more severe for some and i hate thoughts of suicide but feelings , emotions become too much, stop the world i want to get off.

    dont the future is yours make it what you can. best of luck.

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