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Couldn't go to my own Brothers wedding.

Posted , 8 users are following.

sarah07123
sarah07123

Hey 

I really could do with some advice. I have been struggling with anxiety for over 3 years. I have a lot of problems with depersonalization(feelings of unreality) and panic attacks. Sometimes I find it hard to even go outside.

Today is my Brothers wedding day and I couldn't make it. I was all ready and dressed, got in my car drove about 10 minutes up the road and started panicking, panicking so badly that my legs were shaking and I couldn't drive. I actually could not move, I felt frozen with fear. Obviously weddings have a time schedule and if i'm not there then I am not there, they wont wait for me.

I had to come home, I am so so heartbroken, have been crying, panicking (very very badly) and I still cannot calm myself down. I feel truly awful and I do not know what to do with myself. I have barely had any sleep, due to being up all night worrying. 

I love my Brother, we are so close and I know he is going to be gutted that I didn't go to his wedding. But most of all I am truly heartbroken, I feel like a failure and I feel so awful that I wasn't there for him on one of the most important days of his life, I think his new wife probably hates me :'(

1 like, 18 replies

18 Replies

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  • archemedes
    archemedes sarah07123

    Posted

    As long as you have explained the situation to your brother and his new wife, or are going to do so I am sure there will be no bad feelings between you.

    Mental health issues are really difficult things to cope with, and I think that you were really brave even attempting to go despite being really unwell.

    I realise that this might appear a silly question, but are you getting any medical help for your problem, because you really do need it?

    • archemedes
      archemedes

      Posted

      Sarah, do you feel able yet to please give me an update as to how things are?

      Have you has the opportunity to speak to your brother and his wife, and if so how have things been left, and how are you feeling now?

  • kellys90
    kellys90 sarah07123

    Posted

    Hi hun really feel for you i suffer from anxiety and depression it's an awful thing to have i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy am sure your brother will understand and am sure his wife won't hate you am going to anxiety hypnosis in a few weeks I've heard it's good maybe give that ago or therapy hope you feel better soon hunni chin up x
  • jade256
    jade256 sarah07123

    Posted

    Awwww Hun!!! Honestly, it's okay. He is your brother, and he understands you have anxiety disorder. Please don't feel guilty and beat yourself up it will only make it worse, easier said than done I know. Keep looking forward, don't look back on it, it will only make it worse. Try and think positively and try think of things you could do with your brother and his wife to show how much you care about them, might make you feel better ????

    You're not alone with your depersonalisation and anxiety okay, I suffer from it too, I know too well the effects of it. We will beat it!! Take care Hun xxx

  • sarah07123
    sarah07123

    Posted

    Thank you so much for the replies. 

    I still feel awful, still panicking. 

    I have no idea what to do with myself, have no idea how to calm myself down. The things I do normally to help aren't working. 

    I just feel so terrible sad.

    • kellys90
      kellys90 sarah07123

      Posted

      Maybe download a game sounds silly but when i start feeling crap I'll stick a game on and put all my focus into the game mite help you take ur mind off other stuff x
  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy sarah07123

    Posted

    Bless you. Try not to dwell on it anymore as its in the past now. I think your family, especially brother, will realise how serious this illness is and not be negative. You must get some help for this somehow so you can find away to beat this crippling disease. Good luck to you, I hope you find something that helps you..
  • archemedes
    archemedes sarah07123

    Posted

    I asked you previously, but you didn't answer - are you receiving any medical help at all?
    • sarah07123
      sarah07123 archemedes

      Posted

      I am on a waiting list for CBT again. I have had it in the past and it helped, so much that I felt 'cured' and I stopped seeing my therapist. Unfortunately (I didn't realise at the time) but if you stop seeing an NHS therapist and need to see one in the future you have to start again with the process so I've had to be put back on the waiting list. 

      I find the increased anxiety too much to deal with on medication. Although I know the side effects only last for a few weeks 

    • kellys90
      kellys90 sarah07123

      Posted

      Have you ever heard of a hypnosis for anxiety and depression my friend told me about it its £60 a session but suppose to be really good I've got my first session in a few weeks x
    • kellys90
      kellys90 sarah07123

      Posted

      Your welcome love really hope you feel better soon it's a very awful horrible thing is anxiety shame that the nicest people after go through it x
    • sarah07123
      sarah07123 kellys90

      Posted

      Thank you for the support. I am calming down now, still very upset but not a spanicky, seeing all the pictures of the day on facebook doesn't really help sad. But thank you Xx
    • kellys90
      kellys90 sarah07123

      Posted

      Bless you and don't worry about it your not a bad person you've just got a very horrible illness your not alone in it love if your ever having a bad day get up make a cuppa do some cleaning even if there's no cleaning to be done or run up and down stairs a few times keep telling your self your strong and you can beat this it tends to get me through my days xx
    • archemedes
      archemedes sarah07123

      Posted

      I think this is very true of mental health issues - when I agree that we can become prematurely over-confident and feel that we are well enough to see things through on our own.

      Although we might feel confident, this confidence is generally misplaced, meaning that we should only leave the umrella  of care at such time as our mentors/ therapists feel they can do no more for us because they believe we have regained our full health.

      Unfortunately when we opt-out too soon and then realise that we need further help, it can be a bitter pill to swallow when it suddenly dawns on us that we have to start again.

      This like so many such things in life is something that we only learn from experience, so when the opportunity arises to become reinstated into the system we really do need to be learn from it.

      Anyway good luck in the future, and I hope all goes well for you.

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