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I really could do with some advice. I have been struggling with anxiety for over 3 years. I have a lot of problems with depersonalization(feelings of unreality) and panic attacks. Sometimes I find it hard to even go outside.
Today is my Brothers wedding day and I couldn't make it. I was all ready and dressed, got in my car drove about 10 minutes up the road and started panicking, panicking so badly that my legs were shaking and I couldn't drive. I actually could not move, I felt frozen with fear. Obviously weddings have a time schedule and if i'm not there then I am not there, they wont wait for me.
I had to come home, I am so so heartbroken, have been crying, panicking (very very badly) and I still cannot calm myself down. I feel truly awful and I do not know what to do with myself. I have barely had any sleep, due to being up all night worrying.
I love my Brother, we are so close and I know he is going to be gutted that I didn't go to his wedding. But most of all I am truly heartbroken, I feel like a failure and I feel so awful that I wasn't there for him on one of the most important days of his life, I think his new wife probably hates me :'(
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