Couldn't go to my own Brothers wedding.

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Hey 

I really could do with some advice. I have been struggling with anxiety for over 3 years. I have a lot of problems with depersonalization(feelings of unreality) and panic attacks. Sometimes I find it hard to even go outside.

Today is my Brothers wedding day and I couldn't make it. I was all ready and dressed, got in my car drove about 10 minutes up the road and started panicking, panicking so badly that my legs were shaking and I couldn't drive. I actually could not move, I felt frozen with fear. Obviously weddings have a time schedule and if i'm not there then I am not there, they wont wait for me.

I had to come home, I am so so heartbroken, have been crying, panicking (very very badly) and I still cannot calm myself down. I feel truly awful and I do not know what to do with myself. I have barely had any sleep, due to being up all night worrying. 

I love my Brother, we are so close and I know he is going to be gutted that I didn't go to his wedding. But most of all I am truly heartbroken, I feel like a failure and I feel so awful that I wasn't there for him on one of the most important days of his life, I think his new wife probably hates me :'(

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  • Posted

    hey sarah,

    I just want to say that I know exactly what you are going through. I have struggled with panic attacks and anxiety all my life. I to had episodes of depersonalization and intense fear at all times. I want to encourage you to not give up. There are tools you can use to get better. The most important thing Ive found is to become aware and more able to observe what is going on in your body related to your panic and anxiety. Once you know this you can begin to fix it. I just wanted to share with you some tools I have found to be helpful:

    I hope these resources help. They really helped me. Your gonna get through this. It can be fixed. You can learn a new way of thinking and get off the adrenaline.

    Best Wishes

     

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  • Posted

    Dear Sarah, oh bless your heart....I agree totally with every single other comment....try not to feel so bad, you do not deserve to..I also know how crippling anxiety and panic attacks can be...xxx

    But just think...if it was someone that you loved very much, and they had the exact same problem......you would understand and totally, totally sympathize with them....wouldn't you?....

    So please , please, please do not feel that you have failed in any way at all....I wish you big comforting hugs. . And lots of good times that will !!!! Come... take care...warmest wishes to you.. DEIRDRE xxxx

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  • Posted

    You are not alone.  I can't tell you have many things I've missed because of anxiety and those damn panic attacks.  One friend even made a point each time of showing me photos on her phone of the great time they all had.

    Before I see my doctor I usually medicate myself so they never really see how bad things truly are which is not doing me any favours.  I'm glad to hear though that therapy previously helped you.  I'm due to see a psychologist very soon and was somewhat doubtful that she could help me at all but now I will attend the session with a more open mind.  

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