Crippling Depression in Late Perimenopause
Posted , 13 users are following.
I am a year into this depression now, and I am finding it hard to continue to find the strength to keep going forward. I keep telling myself that this isn't a life sentence, and it has to end some time, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to bear and to continue to find the hope to go on.
I still have times when I feel completely well, or almost well, and I relish them, but then I plummet into the most painful abyss, and I just can't seem to find my way out, when I am there.
I am starting to trial different medications, such as mood stabilizers, with my psychiatrist's guidance, as walking this road unmedicated feels unbearable at times.
When I am balanced, everything seems in perspective, but then I just fall off of the deep end, and I feel so cheated and robbed of my happiness.
I am a super strong person, and I have done everything that I know how to do to get better, but overriding hormone fluctuations seems a near impossibility.
Please tell me that things will get better with time.
4 likes, 20 replies
mauiblue bev27429
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mauiblue
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Remind yourself that your mind is stronger than any hormone and also remind yourself that when you go down into this depression you also were feeling pretty good the other day and those days will come back more and more frequently there's always good and bad it can never be all good
Xoxoxo
mauiblue bev27429
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Bev I am here to tell you that yes yes yes you will get better it cannot continue this way forever and you need to take or do whatever you have to in order to find some sort of relief. We are our own experiment and it's just a matter of waiting it out taking whatever need needed don't be too proud I know I certainly would take anything without hesitation if it means me feeling better and you too will be better soon trust in yourself trust in the source and things will improve however you go about it it will get better
Xoxoxo
alison91416 bev27429
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Hi bev
I too am struggling but going through divorce at the same time. I am 50 and on evorel patches and mirena coil. I manage to go to work but just get through the day. This is awful but has to get better and I'm sure it will. x
laura370 bev27429
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I also have my good days and some days where I feel my family would be better off without me. I do tell them now when I'm feeling this way and just talking it over with them along with crying seems to relieve the pain a little. Sometimes just saying it out loud can help for some reason. Be sure to get plenty of rest when needed because when overly tired I know I tend to get worse. Don't be ashamed to just be by yourself and have a good cry. I've had depression all my life and going through peri just magnifies EVERYTHING 100 times more. I'm 52 and I realize that I can't do this alone and instead of stuffing all these sad and insecure thoughts inside I tell my husband and children. They try and reassure me that I will get through this. I know you will get through this as well. Don't ever lose hope in yourself because we are all here for you. xxxooo
wendy36287 bev27429
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Guest bev27429
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Hi Bev, I’m with you. I’ve been in peri for 3 years. I know the exact day things went crazy ....July 5, 2017...Very symptomatic the last 15 months...especially the last 6 months. I am only 41. I just started AD a couple of months ago as my anxiety is causing major dizziness, head pressure...it’s awful. Had to stop working, cannot drive far. Just awful. To think this can last 10 years. Things have to get better...most people with major illnesses would be out if their misery by then. 😕
Gypsy014 bev27429
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Hi bev, yes the depression part of this is off the chains.. So bad awful crappy the worst.. So so hard to deal with... But we have to month after month until it eases up, and it will eventually ease up.. I had this when my symptoms of Peri intensified about 2 years ago for like 6 months straight, then it disappeared.. Now its back for me and it keeps cycling itself every single month!! Its the pits.. I just had 8 and I count them 8 good days where I wasn't bothered with the dizziness or the numbness or the migraines or this awful depression, I was still exhausted, but my legs weren't weak and rubbery, I could actually go out still not to far but at least I was out and about running errands and getting things done that needed to be done, it felt fantastic.. I even cleaned my entire house.. But today I'm slowly feeling my symptoms coming back and I know for the next 3 weeks I'm going to be into my rut, with the health anxiety depression all of it, but I keep telling myself one day at a time I will and can make it through until my next set of good days again.. Be strong take it all day by day, on the real bad days open your daily journal of symptoms and remind yourself of the good days you had and they are around the corner again, and that God never gives you anything you cannot handle ?🙏?🙏
bev27429 Gypsy014
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Thank you so much for your kind words; they are very much appreciated. I just try to go moment by moment, when things are really difficult.
I need to keep reminding myself that this is hormones, and that things will settle in time, and I will get my life back.
I am strong, and so I will persevere and see this through until the end.
Much appreciated,
Bev
sarah05599 bev27429
Posted
Hi Bev,
I would say out of all my symptoms so far, the depression and fatigue frightened me the most as nothing helped to lift the dark cloud, at least with the anxiety I could go out and walk it off so to speak, but nothing helped with the depression and fatigue I just wanted to be alone and sleep. Didn't want to interact with my family and it scared me because I couldn't control it/bring myself out of it, walking didn't help. I have had odd days of it but it disappears then another symptom takes over but I fear for myself if it comes again for a longer period. Like all these lovely ladies are saying just try and keep a diary and know it's hormones and it will pass. Hugs to you 🤗
lori93950 bev27429
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You are not alone !!! I’m going through terrible depression and loneliness too. How I get out of bed everyday I do not know .
I went through the same thing at 41 and it was awful but i leveled out after many months .
Try to accept your mood right now and don’t rush your recovery .... it takes time for the body to adjust to hormone changes but it eventually will.
If you can get on an AD then do it . For me they don’t agree with me and made me ill.
Remember this is just a phase and life has its ups and down .... we’re in a down right now but you will level out . The mind and body is a powerful tool and it wants to feel happy too .
bev27429 lori93950
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Everyone who loves me tells me that this is just a blip in my life, and that happiness is right around the corner. I am lucky to have so much support all around me.
Best wishes,
Bev
Finny2018 bev27429
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Hi Bev,
I am turning 50 as well, in November. The first time I experienced depression, fatigue, & anxiety was this year - on a horrible ride with perimenopause symptoms - the list goes on and on but the depression, fatigue and anxiety roller coaster is the HARDEST for me.
Like the other wonderful women have suggested - I've been keeping a daily journal of my symptoms...this has helped me so much to tell myself the truth (it's hormones!) and to see that it comes in waves. It seems like I will have a few "good" days are there - not 100% - but I will get a glimpse of myself for a bit and then back again on the fatigue, anxiety - ugh!
Today marks the longest I've gone without a period and my hormone levels are near the bottom following a test.
You are not alone, Bev. This perimeno stuff is pretty rough - it blindsided me.
I think of you all daily and am beyond grateful for the support of the women on this forum.
Finny2018 lori93950
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Lori,
What you shared about accepting the mood and not rushing the recovery really resonated with me. I woke up this morning and thought - what if I actually believed and started to embrace that this is really going to pass?
And yet when I read other posts...some women it goes on for years!
Another huge problem for me is guilt. I have so much guilt for needing to sleep in and take naps. Why can't I just accept that my body need this right now? If I'm tossing and turning with night sweats - of course I'm going to be tired, right? Why can't I just accept that my life as I have known it is in a holding pattern right now and I can only do the necessary things?
I keep joking with my husband that they really need to open up an Assisted Living Menopause Facility that you check into for 3 months - LOL! It's like checking into a treatment center. You move in - you get the lowdown on the nightmare you are entering, you are educated and not blindsided with that is happening to you. You sit in a rocking chair with your other Meno friends - cry together, laugh together and get sent on your way after a few months - with a prescription for some progesterone cream or an anti-depressant. You can have visitors as much as you'd like - but the guarantee is you will feel wonderful and equipped when you check out. Oh it's fun to dream.
Until then....
lori93950 Finny2018
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Try and visualize getting better and feeling better try to do the things you normally do .. I know it’s a real struggle boy has it been hell for me too! We are ILL and it’s taking time to get better. We will feel good soon and look back and it will all be a horrible memory ... when we feel better we’ll make new memories which will replace this horrible time !
bev27429 lori93950
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Well said, Lori. One day this awful time will just seem like a blip, and it will be a distant memory. The good thing about emotional pain is that once it's over, you can recall that you had it, but you can never feel it in a visceral way. It's just gone.
I want to thank all of the women for their responses to my post. You are immense sources of support for me, and I value all of your insights, experiences, and wisdom.
Much appreciated,
Bev
Finny2018 bev27429
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Bev,
I feel so thankful for this group, too. I am on no social media and am having a good laugh at myself that the first time I take the plunge and create a log in and user name is in a Meno group, LOL!!!!!!!! This coming from a woman who used to work in the Software Industry and taught people around the world, LOL!
I don't even know the proper "forum etiquette"...I see these little votes, and hearts, and points - that's all new to me, too - like the Peri nightmare.
I welcome those times, though, that I can smile and laugh at myself! Glimpses of pre-June when I had my last period and the symptoms came rushing in. You are not alone. This sadness, anxiety, fatigue - all hit me for the very first time at 49. My husband keeps saying - honey - keep telling yourself it's the hormones and be gentle with yourself...and then that makes me cry - and I'm not a cryer.
Hugs to you - Finny
lori93950 bev27429
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