Currently Detoxing!!!

Posted , 10 users are following.

I had a relapse two months ago.

I went right back to my old patterns after SIX past detoxes.

It was so fast and insidious- Started out slow then built up but I was even drinking less than I used to .... apparently my body wasn't having it despite my damaged mind wanting the substance.

I will articulate the embarrassment and shame for when I'm detoxed and safe since I am just emotional and scared currently and wanting to get through this (again)!

Tried to ween slightly and then quit Wed at 9pm - and had my last drink.

Took a left over Klonopin I had been prescribed for anxiety (only had 7 prescribed and I didn't take them as don't like benzos). The Klonopin .5mg was NOT helping my symptoms.

Needless to say I started having detox symptoms as I was under medicating.

Went to the ER the next morning at 9am Thursday after not sleeping for 3 days. Chest pain palpitations shakes etc.

Was given 10mg Valium and a prescription for 25 .5 mg pills as well as naltrexone and trazadone. I was also Hypokalemic in the ER and given potassium and a saline IV but nothing else.

I was to take 1-2 Valium every 6 hours for the first 48 hours then every 8 hours for one day then then every 12 hours 1 day then daily for 1-2days.

I have been taking as prescribed- however still having really bad symptoms of shaking, sweating not sleeping, hearing and seeing my "dreams" when I close my eyes but I'm not asleep. Panic and agitation. Vomiting.

It's now on 53 hours since the last drink and STILL no sleep.

I fell asleep at 12 and woke up at two suddenly.

The Valium does not make me tired. I haven't slept now for about 5 days.

However I don't feel comfortable taking the trazadone with the Valium and I just woke up - my last .5mg of Valium was at 8pm.

This is by far the longest - worst withdrawal I've had (I know they get worse the more you do them) and the most I haven't slept. I really don't understand how and why I am completely not tired, completely awake all day and night and when I fell asleep tonight at 12 I woke up SUDDENLY WIDE AWAKE 2 hours later when I haven't slept in 5 days!!!

sad

You know - as horrible as this all is it is a HUGE help to have you guys to talk to. This is really scary and lonely ... And I really need to work out why it is I have done this to myself so many times - knowing the pain of detox and genuinely wanting to stay sober.

Treatment options are far too expensive for me but I'm trying to get into a free womens study program by me that's from a really well respected treatment center.

I have a therapist.

I have a GP - but it's a county hospital and I haven't had luck getting much of any help from them.

Sorry I'm just wide awake and needed to share with someone.

I do appreciate all of you.

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  • Posted

    Hi lovey.....oh my God, I do soooo sympathise......I have been there...done it....and worn the tee shirt..!!

    I was lucky in a way...that I was sectioned four times....into a mental health hospital.....keep your chin up.....into will have to post later....into need to charge my Samsung....

    Big warm hugs and wishes....you can !! And you will !! Get there....xxxxxxx dee

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  • Posted

    That obviously should have read....need to.....hugs again xxxxxx
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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for the kind words and understanding. <3

      I guess I just don't understand my symptoms of not sleeping...

      It's never happened before and it's really worrying me. How long can I go before something really bad happens?! And why am I not tired? I close my eyes and jolt awake every few minutes with panic.

      Just took another 5 mg Valium but its made me dizzy and giving me anxiety...

      sad

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    • Posted

      I think along with the anxiety load from stopping drinking...you know have higher anxiety due to not sleeping!

      Why won't you take the Trazadone? It will put you to sleep.

      Its hard because it is daytime and it would really be bad probably to sleep all day and then be up all night again.  

      Hold off...try to calm down....and realize "no one ever died from lack of sleep".  But, many people die from drinking.

      They gave you the valium for your symptoms and although it is not helping greatly...I'm sure without it....you would feel worse.

       I would hold off until tonight and then take the prescribed amount of Trazadone.  How many mg of Trazadone were you prescribed.

      I know from being in the hospial it is SAFE to take the Traz with the benzo....and the first night I did that....I was knocked out cold....very groggy the next day..but I did not wake up for the full 8-10 hours!

      I hope you don't give up due to these uncomfortable feelings (as I have done in the past) because that will only bring you back to square one.

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    • Posted

      hi here. Really complicated situation and I managed to stop without medication and cannot really give you sound and strong advice. Others on this forum have much experience and can assist and are doing so since you have had LOTS of good replies!! keep trying since it is worth it..Robin
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  • Posted

    Good on you Slowburnstar.

    With the determination you're showing, I know you'll get there in the end. You will. This disease of addiction - and I do call it a disease - can sometimes take a while to overcome and my journey has been similar to yours, so I know. In regards to your lack of sleeping, even if you just lie down for a little while resting with the eyes closed, just connecting to your inner self, then that will be okay, don't worry. I'm not a doctor but that's my advice. 

    Keep fighting, keep growing, keep reaching out and attacking these issues from all angles trying different approaches, and eventually soon the addictive cravings will slowly start to lose their power in the mind, you'll see. That's what happened to me. 

    All the best Slowburnstar and never give up. Good luck with the womans study program, too. That sounds very promising.

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    • Posted

      And good luck with the detoxing process, too. Hang in there and you'll begin to stabilize - it's hard for you at the moment but stay strong. It's going to be okay.

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  • Posted

    Hope you feel better really soon. Sounds intense.

    I've never been that bad off. Shivering, heart palpitations which I went to the E.R. for, loss of appetite, irritability and waking up 4-5 times a night. It should start getting better soon. The worst is usually the first week.

    Happy you posted and I'm here rooting for you! smile

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  • Posted

    Slowburnstar, should you relapse again, there is a way of using Naltrexone prior to drinking that has a very high success rate. 

    I hope you are over the worst part of the detox and feeling better today. Please keep letting us know how it's going for you.

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  • Posted

    When you said

    "SUDDENLY WIDE AWAKE 2 hours later when I haven't slept in 5 days"

    That nails it right on the head, liver.

    I know this for fact as I've been through it. You didn't drink/binge long enough for it to be a withdrawl.

     

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    • Posted

      I drank for two months solid day/night/morning... Granted it was wine... But I was hardly eating or hydrating...I did binge on hard alcohol a few times - then never really "got back to base line" after that no matter how much I drank.

      Could it be the Valium being hard on my liver?

      It's been 72 hours since my last drink. Still having lightning skin sensations and auditory/visual hallucinations when I close my eyes or start to sleep.

      So if it's liver related what do you suggest?

      Milk thistle?

      I'm still not sleeping - at all its 7am...

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    • Posted

      Its going to take some more time before you sleep well.

      I'm going into 2 months sober and just this week I have started to experience a normal sleeping pattern.

      I don't care what medication you take...you are going to have the left over anxiety and the process of your bodys organs healing themselves.

      Not just the liver...the kidneys, the heart and your brain chemistry.

      Every organ and cell work together to keep us....running...and when we put alcohol in our system...the cells and organs get all messed up...for lack of the technical terms..LOL.

      Time is the four letter word of RECOVERY......keep going as things only get better. smile

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    • Posted

      I don't know if you understand how to read blood tests at all but some of my results were:

      BUN - 4

      Potassium - 3.3

      Creatine - 0.6

      Bilirubin -1.2

      ALT - 11

      AST - 13

      The low BUN has me concerned but I'm not sure how to compare it to the other numbers...

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    • Posted

      Thanks you!!!

      I think I was just worried that a low BUN (low side is 6) is indicative of liver issues...

      The potassium was low (Hypokalemic) so they gave me potassium ... But not as low as the last time I was in there!

      I think once I was hospitalized with a ALT/AST in the hundreds... sad

      But it's comforting to know in my bought of sobriety and taking Milk Thistle daily that it looks like even this last bender didn't have too much of a damaging effect.

      Thanks.

      And I've slept! Granted it was from like 8am-5pm ...

      But I'll take it!!!

      smile

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