Daily High Fives and Daily Struggles
Posted , 8 users are following.
Hi - vickylou and I wanted to start a thread where we all can continue to keep in touch daily if possible. Our rants and struggles and successes are helping others..
So today for me...people are coming over...I HATE that...none of them drink...but I always feel like I NEED to drink to socialize and it is always a very painful experience - high anxiety ridden the whole time people are around when I am not drinking.
But, I will do this...and get thru this....Its very sad how the small things...are so HARD for me to get thru....
1 like, 57 replies
Richardt Misssy2
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Misssy2 Richardt
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I can't stop at just 1....I'm an alcoholic...its almost killed me more than 3 x this week....
vickylou Richardt
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you are not new to this forum, so you must know that for 8 years she was sober through sheer hard work. However circumstances change and she is doing her hardest to get her life back on track.
the last thing in the world she needs is right now is some idiot, and am not sorry for calling you that under the circumstances telling her to go and have a drink and feel comfortable. Perhaps you could explain how having a glass one at a time is normal
Misssy2 vickylou
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In the way you interpreted the message...I don't think it was inappropriate for you to defend a fellow alcoholic......Richardt...being new...MAYBE just thinks some of us can....I will give him the benefit of the doubt...and if he is just a hacker and a mean person....than I will just ignore that stuff...and I hope others that know they have a problem with alcohol...KNOW that they can not just have one..
OH..WAIT...we CAN do anything we WANT....we CAN have 1......but if we are alcohol....I highly doubt....we can STOP after 1.
I know if I had JUST 1...today...I wouldn't have eaten any dinner and no one would have saw me much today because I would have been going in the other room to fill my "secret" glass...and going outside to smoke alot more. AND Thank GOD that wasn't what my day was like TODAY.
Richardt vickylou
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Richardt Misssy2
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Misssy2 Richardt
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So..in my opinion only..if you can't stop (for your health)...you are probably alcoholic. I have been fortunate not to have the serious health consequences of drinking...until the last 2 hospital stays...and I don't want to keep testing it.
I hope I don't drink again...even with all this knowledge i have...and all the time I had sober...I still don't know if it is TRUE that I won't drink again.
tim081952 Misssy2
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Misssy2 tim081952
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Corned beef, cabbage...carrots..taters...and eggplant (weird combination)...and salad....the eggplant is for my vegetarian stepdaughter.
Oh yea...Italian bread and real butter . Its at 2...so hurry up.
jacqueline85124 Misssy2
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I know how you feel because I go through the same feelings. I try to focus on the conversations and think about things I enjoy other than drinking. I'm trying to find new non-drinking friends and activities, but it is hard as I'm not a very outgoing person nauturally.Unfortunately my husband and all 'our' friends are drinkers and I dread gatherings with them, as well. I do not want to become totally anti-social so changes have to be made slowly and sometimes painfully.
Misssy2 jacqueline85124
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But, I was ready to stop...if people really love you and care about you....they will respect your wish to stop. I hope you get over the hurdle of WANTING to drink with everyone or feeling like an outcast....because your not drinking...CAUSE ya know what Jacqueline???
To your surprise....if you manage to stay sober....there WILL be someone in your circle...that comes to you BECAUSE they will be so IMPRESSED with your strength....that they will want advise from you....on how to stop.....Keep it up...You are worth it...
Its all about you living longer...and being healthy and happy. If your like me...you won't live long, be healthy or happy if you turn back to the drink....When I say if your like me? I mean like me in THAT...IM an ALCHOLIC....And all alchol DOES to ME....is kill me slowly. Because I can't stop at 1,2,3...even a million....once I start....
How I stopped 3 months ago was in a hospital...(forced to lay in a bed with intraveneous..and heart monitors).....AND how I stopped this time was only because I was frightened to end up BACK in the hospital....
I don't want to drink again...I hope I don't...because just because I don't want to....I have learned does not mean I WONT.
Robin2015 Misssy2
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Paper_fairy Misssy2
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I find people are the hardest to deal with, some worse than others. Give me dogs any day!!
Youre doing really well and so be proud xxxx pf
Misssy2 Paper_fairy
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Then when I drank...well...I smoked again! I don't have a favorite drink...really I drink water all day long. But my stomach for the whole TEN days has not been happy with me at all. Bathroom all of the time.
I tried a rice and bannana diet yesterday...it did help...but all day today...I feel like I have to go every minute. I don't know what to do because I know it is my body healing from the alcoholsim....staying hydrated is real important...but I just don't feel well and all these people are coming on top of it WA..WA...WA.
How are you doing with the tapering? Are you done or are you still struggling? I just said yesterday I wanted to drink sooo bad..my heart was racing all day...and I did take a tranqualizer...lorazepam...HEY..did your friend ever bring you any?
gav44887 Misssy2
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For me, well, you will remember that I had two bi nges last October, and then several more this sprng / summer. I then stopped because I had scared myself so much. I had numerous blood tests and an ultrasound, which showed fatty liver, and felt unwell for a lot of September.
I had a really frank discussion with my doctor. We discussed the fatty liver on the ultrasound and all the blood tests, which were already all normal again. He said the binge drinking had irritated my liver, but the results all returning to normal so quickly simply proved that my liver was neither badly nor permanently damaged in any way. He said he did NOT think I was an alcoholic, but had been hit by a series of negative life events and just couldn't cope. He said I needed to relieve boredom and become more active and, if I could do that, he had no objection to me returning to social drinking - a few pints or glasses of wine on an occasional basis - it was the binge drinking that had to stop or I COULD have a problem in a few years.
I had my first beer, with lunch, in Dublin three Mondays ago. It tasted lovely. I sipped it. I enjoyed the taste. It complemented the food. It was lovely.
Since then,I did the same with a friend in Belfast: we had a few (not a dozen!) pints and dinner, and it was really enjoyable. I savoured the taste, I didn't try or want to get drunk.
Now, I am not so arrogant or fooolish to think that some crisis or other won't trigger a desire in me to get drunk again as soon as possible in the near future. What I do know is that, having a pint or two socially now and again (I have not drunk alone or in the house, only socially in company in October) will not have any bearing one way or another on whether I ever binge drink again.
Whatever you decide to do, and it sounds as if you realise you cannot control your drinking, I wish you all the very best.
Gavin. x
Misssy2 gav44887
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I enjoyed eating my meal today...2 Sundays ago.....I was DRUNK...didn't eat a thing all day. or for probably 7 days before that.
I hope everyone that has chosen to stop...for today...has not struggled too much...and anyone that is over withdrawals...is feeling as good as I am that I am now in control...of my body...versus a bottle of booze.
Paper_fairy Misssy2
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vickylou Paper_fairy
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Paper_fairy vickylou
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I can't fxxxing sleep. The downside to not drinking!
Misssy2 gav44887
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I KNOW that I CANT....my boyfriend can sit right next to me and tell me HEY just have one drink...and I wouldn't....Actually he USED to think that way...now if I say I want a drink...he really gets sad...and says...NO...NO...Please don't.
Because he knows it doesn't agree with me at all.
Misssy2 Paper_fairy
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Misssy2 Paper_fairy
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Its being around people...and feeling "different' in general that makes me want to drink.
That social anxiety...the only reason I never drank at work (around people)...was because #1 I couldn't....and #2...My brain was busy and waiting and counting the time for which I could go...so that I could leave and DRINK.
Misssy2 vickylou
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vickylou Misssy2
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In the end, I decided I would give it a go. I'm not giving up at the first hurdle. Once I'd worked out the pros and cons, it was a no brainier. DO SOMETHING POSITIVE AND LOOK AHEAD. Oh just for the record the wine is still in the fridge untouched.
Misssy2 vickylou
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Its too close to you.....too tempting.....Cheers on NOT drinking it.....Hope CBT goes well and that you sleep tonight.
I get it..I can never sleep before Drs apts...I get worked up as well. Its probably an alcoholic thing....there are reasons we NUMB ourselves or WANT to. The simple things in life like Drs appointments seem to cause some of us a great deal of stress....its a horrible feeling.
Richardt gav44887
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Misssy2 Richardt
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I think I may give off the impression that I want to drink....but I really DO and DONT. If i could drink without going off deep end...I would drink....but seems everytime..I get WICKED sick...after about 5-7 days. Cause once I put one drink in my mouth...I don't stop for DAYS.
gav44887 Richardt
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I thinnk I'm OK. The last time I saw the doctor, all of the liver enzynes and other function and blood tests were within normal ranges. My appetite, energy and sleep are also better, and things like hair loss and hair-thinning seem to have gone.
I've had a few pints since my last binge at the end of August, but they've been social and I have not drunk at home.
So, all seems well, hopefully the doctor is correct when he says I have no lasting damage to my liver, he's relaxed about me having a few pints or glasses of wine occasionally, staying within the recommended limits, and not binge drinking again!
Thanks for asking.
Misssy2 gav44887
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