Daily High Fives and Daily Struggles

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Hi - vickylou and I wanted to start a thread where we all can continue to keep in touch daily if possible.  Our rants and struggles and successes are helping others..

So today for me...people are coming over...I HATE that...none of them drink...but I always feel like I NEED to drink to socialize and it is always a very painful experience - high anxiety ridden the whole time people are around when I am not drinking.

But, I will do this...and get thru this....Its very sad how the small things...are so HARD for me to get thru....

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  • Posted

    They is nothing wrong with u having a drink, if it makes u feel comfortable its a Sunday after all noyone will bother its normal, just get a glass at a time ,no need to feel bad l know u always read your posts have a good day.
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    • Posted

      Theres a BIG problem with me having a drink unfortunetly.

      I can't stop at just 1....I'm an alcoholic...its almost killed me more than 3 x this week....

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    • Posted

      Richardt I know this is an open forum and you are entitled to say what you want, but your reply to misssy2 I personally feel, was most inappropriate, other people are entitled to disagree with me, but it was also insulting.

      you are not new to this forum, so you must know that for 8 years she was sober through sheer hard work. However circumstances change and she is doing her hardest to get her life back on track.

      the last thing in the world she needs is right now is some idiot, and am not sorry for calling you that under the circumstances telling her to go and have a drink and feel comfortable. Perhaps you could explain how having a glass one at a time is normal

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    • Posted

      Thank you vickylou...I just have a feeling that Richardt....may not be an alcoholic so therefore maybe just not understand that some people can not just have one drink.....Its ok...he's new.....we do realize that only we have control over what we do...nothing anyone says...like "you can have a drink"...means I CAN....I have to know that for myself. 

      In the way you interpreted the message...I don't think it was inappropriate for you to defend a fellow alcoholic......Richardt...being new...MAYBE just thinks some of us can....I will give him the benefit of the doubt...and if he is just a hacker and a mean person....than I will just ignore that stuff...and I hope others that know they have a problem with alcohol...KNOW that they can not just have one..

      OH..WAIT...we CAN do anything we WANT....we CAN have 1......but if we are alcohol....I highly doubt....we can STOP after 1.

      I know if I had JUST 1...today...I wouldn't have eaten any dinner and no one would have saw me much today because I would have been going in the other room to fill my "secret" glass...and going outside to smoke alot more. smile  AND Thank GOD that wasn't what my day was like TODAY.

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    • Posted

      I am sorry l didn't know u had stopped for 8 years that's great , so u still miss it after 8 years my Doctor says on his notes l am alcoholic but l can go for a week without drinking, l use to drink a bottle of vodka then 6 cans beer but now l only take 2 bottles of wine a day for 4 days a week, BC my liver is enlarged, sorry for the comments.
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    • Posted

      This is just my opinion Richardt....can you stop?  I would be terrified if I was told that my liver is enlarged...we only live once and if your liver starts acting up...then your kidneys...you can end up in serious dire health.

      So..in my opinion only..if you can't stop (for your health)...you are probably alcoholic.  I have been fortunate not to have the serious health consequences of drinking...until the last 2 hospital stays...and I don't want to keep testing it.

      I hope I don't drink again...even with all this knowledge i have...and all the time I had sober...I still don't know if it is TRUE that I won't drink again.

       

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  • Posted

    Put on a pot of tea, I will be there in about 8 hours (from Canada) lol

     

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    • Posted

      Ok, Tim...we will add tea to the menu.

      Corned beef, cabbage...carrots..taters...and eggplant (weird combination)...and salad....the eggplant is for my vegetarian stepdaughter.

      Oh yea...Italian bread and real butter smile.  Its at 2...so hurry up.

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  • Posted

    Hi Missy2,

    I know how you feel because I go through the same feelings.  I try to focus on the conversations and think about things I enjoy other than drinking.  I'm trying to find new non-drinking friends and activities, but it is hard as I'm not a very outgoing person nauturally.Unfortunately my husband and all 'our' friends are drinkers and I dread gatherings with them, as well.  I do not want to become totally anti-social so changes have to be made slowly and sometimes painfully.

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    • Posted

      It is very hard when you have everyone around you drinking....and then all of a sudden your not....I know, I went thru that 10 years ago....I was younger and alot of our family parties included the alcohol.

      But, I was ready to stop...if people really love you and care about you....they will respect your wish to stop.  I hope you get over the hurdle of WANTING to drink with everyone or feeling like an outcast....because your not drinking...CAUSE ya know what Jacqueline??? 

      To your surprise....if you manage to stay sober....there WILL be someone in your circle...that comes to you BECAUSE they will be so IMPRESSED with your strength....that they will want advise from you....on how to stop.....Keep it up...You are worth it...

      Its all about you living longer...and being healthy and happy.  If your like me...you won't live long, be healthy or happy if you turn back to the drink....When I say if your like me?  I mean like me in THAT...IM an ALCHOLIC....And all alchol DOES to ME....is kill me slowly.  Because I can't stop at 1,2,3...even a million....once I start....

      How I stopped 3 months ago was in a hospital...(forced to lay in a bed with intraveneous..and heart monitors).....AND how I stopped this time was only because I was frightened to end up BACK in the hospital....

      I don't want to drink again...I hope I don't...because just because I don't want to....I have learned does not mean I WONT.

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    • Posted

      Strong message Missy2. Good advice on drinking. I take note of your comment to live longer or TRYING to live longer by not drinking. It IS that simple for certain. Yes, you have been through a lot and perhaps too much but try not to punish yourself and look forward. you are worth it.
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  • Posted

    Hi..yes I'm exactly the same, years of using alcohol to relax you on these type occasions is really hard to break, in your mind. But you will do it. Make sure you've got your fav soft drink,what's yours? Mines either Coke or strawberry Ribera with flavoured fizzy water(sainsburys). I couldn't live without them or my VIP ecig!!!

    I find people are the hardest to deal with, some worse than others. Give me dogs any day!! 

    Youre doing really well and so be proud xxxx pf

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    • Posted

      Congrats on the E-cig....I used that for a year and didn't smoke.

      Then when I drank...well...I smoked again!  I don't have a favorite drink...really I drink water all day long.  But my stomach for the whole TEN days has not been happy with me at all.  Bathroom all of the time.

      I tried a rice and bannana diet yesterday...it did help...but all day today...I feel like I have to go every minute.  I don't know what to do because  I know it is my body healing from the alcoholsim....staying hydrated is real important...but I just don't feel well and all these people are coming on top of it WA..WA...WA.

      How are you doing with the tapering?  Are you done or are you still struggling?  I just said yesterday I wanted to drink sooo bad..my heart was racing all day...and I did take a tranqualizer...lorazepam...HEY..did your friend ever bring you any?

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    • Posted

      Missy, I sympathise and, if you are sure that you are an alcoholic and simply cannot stop, it is frankly irresponsible advice from Riichard on this thread to say that there is no harm in you having a drink on a Sunday.

      For me, well, you will remember that I had two bi nges last October, and then several more this sprng / summer.  I then stopped because I had scared myself so much.  I had numerous blood tests and an ultrasound, which showed fatty liver, and felt unwell for a lot of September.

      I had a really frank discussion with my doctor.  We discussed the fatty liver on the ultrasound and all the blood tests, which were already all normal again.  He said the binge drinking had irritated my liver, but the results all returning to normal so quickly simply proved that my liver was neither badly nor permanently damaged in any way.  He said he did NOT think I was an alcoholic, but had been hit by a series of negative life events and just couldn't cope.  He said I needed to relieve boredom and become more active and, if I could do that, he had no objection to me returning to social drinking - a few pints or glasses of wine on an occasional basis - it was the binge drinking that had to stop or I COULD have a problem in a few years.

      I had my first beer, with lunch, in Dublin three Mondays ago.  It tasted lovely.  I sipped it.  I enjoyed the taste.  It complemented the food.  It was lovely.

      Since then,I did the same with a friend in Belfast: we had a few (not a dozen!) pints and dinner, and it was really enjoyable.  I savoured the taste, I didn't try or want to get drunk.

      Now, I am not so arrogant or fooolish to think that some crisis or other won't trigger a desire in me to get drunk again as soon as possible in the near future.  What I do know is that, having a pint or two socially now and again (I have not drunk alone or in the house, only socially in company in October) will not have any bearing one way or another on whether I ever binge drink again.

      Whatever you decide to do, and it sounds as if you realise you cannot control your drinking, I wish you all the very best.

      Gavin.  x

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    • Posted

      smile..Gav...I have tried many times to be a social drinker...or to just have a couple....NOPE...can't do it...I know everytime I take a drink..it is going to be a binge...and I am always frightened...but I do it anyway....and each time I have been coming closer and closer to my end.

      I enjoyed eating my meal today...2 Sundays ago.....I was DRUNK...didn't eat a thing all day. or for probably 7 days before that.

      I hope everyone that has chosen to stop...for today...has not struggled too much...and anyone that is over withdrawals...is feeling as good as I am that I am now in control...of my body...versus a bottle of booze.

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    • Posted

      Well done you. I'm so pleased you enjoyed your meal without the needing a drink. Major step for you...xxx
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    • Posted

      Additionally, people will say what they say...my take on that is they just DONT understand...that some people can't have a drink...

      I KNOW that I CANT....my boyfriend can sit right next to me and tell me HEY just have one drink...and I wouldn't....Actually he USED to think that way...now if I say I want a drink...he really gets sad...and says...NO...NO...Please don't.

      Because he knows it doesn't agree with me at all.

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    • Posted

      OMG....NOT SLEEPING is the WORST...almost worse than a hangover...WELL...not quite....BUT....almost as bad.  I also have taken SLEEPING pills and NOT slept...that is very hard to deal with.
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    • Posted

      Hi paperfairy...yea..its not the meal that ever makes me need a drink...actually when we EAT....it curbs the urge to drink.

      Its being around people...and feeling "different' in general that makes me want to drink.

      That social anxiety...the only reason I never drank at work (around people)...was because #1 I couldn't....and #2...My brain was busy and waiting and counting the time for which I could go...so that I could leave and DRINK. 

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    • Posted

      vicky..lol...I always hated wine anyway.....I think it was like 6 months ago...I tried to switch to wine so that I wouldn't drink as much...YEA...OK...that didn't WORK....I drank gallons of wine in a day.....and I got that white stuff on my tongue (thrush)...from all the sugar.....and I was in so much pain I couldn't swallow!  Wine doesn't intice me at all....After time passes....and I haven't drank for a while....If I have something I need to cope with....my thirst usually is toward - Largers...(beer I call it).
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    • Posted

      Misssy its horrible isn't it? Fri, and sat night I had no sleep whatsoever despite 10mg NITRAZAPAM both nights. Last night I didn't want to go to bed as I'd got all worked up about CBT today. It didn't help knowing there were two bottles of wine with my name on in the fridge.

      In the end, I decided I would give it a go. I'm not giving up at the first hurdle. Once I'd worked out the pros and cons, it was a no brainier. DO SOMETHING POSITIVE AND LOOK AHEAD. Oh just for the record the wine is still in the fridge untouched.

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    • Posted

      vicky smile...why won't you dump the wine?

      Its too close to you.....too tempting.....Cheers on NOT drinking it.....Hope CBT goes well and that you sleep tonight.

      I get it..I can never sleep before Drs apts...I get worked up as well.  Its probably an alcoholic thing....there are reasons we NUMB ourselves or WANT to.  The simple things in life like Drs appointments seem to cause some of us a great deal of stress....its a horrible feeling.

       

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    • Posted

      How are u gav its a longtime how is your liver, l saw my Doctor last week my left were 75 , so l have to reduce l apologized to Missy 2 ,
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    • Posted

      No need to apologize.....I don't think your text was ILL intended...or you wouldn't be on a site like this (I don't think).  I think you might THINK...that some can have a few drinks.

      I think I may give off the impression that I want to drink....but I really DO and DONT.  If i could drink without going off deep end...I would drink....but seems everytime..I get WICKED sick...after about 5-7 days.  Cause once I put one drink in my mouth...I don't stop for DAYS.

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    • Posted

      Hello, Richard .... and, yes, I did think your comment to Missy2 was irresponsible.

      I thinnk I'm OK. The last time I saw the doctor, all of the liver enzynes and other function and blood tests were within normal ranges.  My appetite, energy and sleep are also better, and things like hair loss and hair-thinning seem to have gone.

      I've had a few pints since my last binge at the end of August, but they've been social and I have not drunk at home.

      So, all seems well, hopefully the doctor is correct when he says I have no lasting damage to my liver, he's relaxed about me having a few pints or glasses of wine occasionally, staying within the recommended limits, and not binge drinking again!

      Thanks for asking.

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    • Posted

      Hi...I think it is so WEIRD that it seems many Drs in the UK are OK with people indulging in drinking....even when they know it will eventually cause health issues.  It blows my mind.  When I go to the Dr...he wants to hear that I am not drinking....Your not the only one that I've heard say from the UK that the Dr. is ok with the drinking occassionally.
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