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Darkish Times

Posted , 14 users are following.

mauiblue
mauiblue

Hi ladies

Im not sure if its just me..or what..but ive really noticed in the last 3 months or so that things are particularly dark, heavy, like energy in the air..

with so much going on in the world between celebrities taking their lives, to the school shootings to the disgusting political things going on ..to right here next to where i live 15 yr old boy taking his life, to my brothers lifelong partner dying 3 day ago, i mean its just not stopping..like i cant stop hearing about one tragedy after another..

I know my hormones and low mood make everything much worse, and magnified because im even more sensitive. 

But im really feelin it theses days, its kind of like its a bit frightening.

I wake up scared, almost haunted (as ive posted before) with the cortisol levels high, or whatever the heck is going on. My dreams are almost always negative, trying to escape or resolve or get out of some mess or another.

I almost think that during this time we are in a heightened state of "meno consciousness" if you wiill. I know this sounds probably whack..but its my perception these days that its a heavier world.

We have to pull together to really keep the positive going, and like some ladies have mentioned praying..i think its due, i think that any sort of support we can throw out to eachother and others is desperately needed during these times. 

Just wanted to reach out there a bit of my take on things ...

xoxoxo

 

11 likes, 30 replies

30 Replies

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  • CarolKelso
    CarolKelso mauiblue

    Posted

    Hi there... I can so sympathise.. It's like you have a heightened awareness and feel more. Like a sponge that soaks up anything negative... Like a part of your brain abords all images and emotion thrown at it. I can't watch anything negative... Stuff with abuse of animals or children as its like trauma for me and I too dream about it.. Our brains are changing and I've so noticed this and I avoid negative, movies, Books and posts on fb... It's crazy this heightened sense of awareness but it's very real. It becomes all to much for my mind to cope with so that's telling me something. So with you on this. A rough time for us girls so we need positively and love around us. 💗 CK

  • amy341731
    amy341731 mauiblue

    Posted

    Oh yes, I can totally relate. Some days, nothing seems good or right, and life seems kind of pointless. Just recently I even found myself wondering, is this who I am, what life is really about etc.. I just can’t seem to get a grasp on what’s going on in the world..makes me feel so old! Lol..ah well keep in touch here and know you’re not alone! 
  • shawnalb
    shawnalb mauiblue

    Posted

    oh yes! you are NOT alone. today is a bad one for me.  I'm gonna get through it though. Only work

    half day then I'm going to do something for ME.  I'm feeling maybe the zoo, I feel better around animals. They are so carefree and have NO idea how bad things can be in life, they just live second to second, minute by minute unaware of shootings, and politics etc.  I am on the back side of things, peri is almost over for me. (I hope) meno is around corner, I'm 10 months in.  Last year I thought this and after 9 mo I had a period. I wanted to slap somebody! anybody!    I don't like fb anymore, people posting ridiculous and untrue and disturbing things..  I hate the news.  I hate people talking about the news.  I wanna withdraw in a cocoon until this is all over with and I feel normal again.  It's coming!  I'm speaking it over myself and all of us!

  • katyD211
    katyD211 mauiblue

    Posted

    Hi, sister...I can totally relate. Your words resonate with me personally, especially your description of how you feel upon awakening.

    Since November, I' ve had my hubby had a horrid reaction to a surgery, that required he have a second and then 3rd surgery; my aunt (moms sis)passed, we made it through the holidays with hubby on the mend. Then spring comes and my mom passes, 10 days later my hubby's sister passes. Not to mention my own gynecological and peri issues. I pray about it all, try to give it to God. Writing it all down gets it out if my head. Then I literally give it to God by putting in my journal or Bible....whatever you believe in. I also have gotten back to walking outdoors. I am an elementary school teacher and although I walk all day long because I have to, it's different when I do it because I want to.

    I've also given up any added sugars..I read labels closely. That seems to have helped w peri bubbly gut, and anything that lessens my health anxiety is good. I like to find hilarious sitcoms on tv and watch them rather than the news, before bed.

    So ,hon, you're not at all alone with your perception of a dark cloud hanging over us. We just have to remember that clouds eventually give way to clear skies and sunshine; and I'm pretty sure that there are more sunny days than dark ones. Hugs from the suburbs of Chicago...

    • mauiblue
      mauiblue katyD211

      Posted

      Hi Sister Katy !

      Thank you for your strong words, and reassuring words. Im mostly positive especially around my boys but its a struggle all the time, everyday. This metamorphis that we are going through is not joke.

      Its spiritual, its physical and its the most horrible, challenging thing ive ever done in my life. 

      i like the idea that you journal and give it over to God. I try and do that at night, but dont have much energy. Putting it on paper is a very deliberat almost ritualistic way of getting through this.

      the losses you have suffered have been many. You are strong, and making it through. 

      Thank you for your words..and support really.

      x0x0x0 

       

  • bev27429
    bev27429 mauiblue

    Posted

    Hi Mauiblue,

    Everything that you said makes perfect sense to me. I avoid all world news, watching anything disturbing..., as it's just too overwhelming for me right now. Due to my hormones, my brain seems hyper attuned to pain and loss. I often have disturbing dreams and dreams of loss and pain. I feel like my entire being is so fragile right now, and it is scary.

    I have been completely honest with those closest to me, so that they understand what I am going through. Because I feel so vulnerable, though, my impulse is to hide away, but I know that won't solve anything. 

    I am working on reframing my depression and working on observing it and allowing it, rather than fighting it. I am viewing the increasing darkness as a positive sign: I'm moving further on down through this process. It's weird and scary, though, when you don't look or feel like yourself. When I look at myself in the mirror, my eyes looked drugged; it's hard when you don't recognize yourself.

    I keep telling myself, though, that I am strong and that I will continue to find the strength to move through my days and come out the other end.

    Sending love your way xo

  • lori93950
    lori93950 mauiblue

    Posted

    Glad to you brought this up Mauiblue as I have been feeling awful for 3 months now !

    Anyway my astrologer friend told me ALL the planets are going backwards this year unlike any other year and this is what is causing so much turmoil and depression . 

    Look at all the suicides .... it’s shocking ! And personally I have never felt so down in my life ! 

    • shawnalb
      shawnalb lori93950

      Posted

      hi there lori 

      i read your comment in the astrology friend and i wonder if this is a thing?  i am going to research that.  Isnt it crazy how we look to anything to get explanations for this hormone crap?   I watched my mom crash for a few months in her late forties 47?  and wouldnt get out if bed  couldn’t go to work    couldnt eat  thoughts of suicide she once told me and from that feeling she said  “ oh heck no” and got up  drug herself to church and poured the xanax down toilet!   slowly she came out.  drs never once thought about it being hormes!!!!  said she was depressed and take this pill.  

    • lori93950
      lori93950 shawnalb

      Posted

      Yes that’s all hormones ... and sounds exactly like myself . Try hard to pull myself out of it but the black cloud follows you around . 

      And yes research the astrology part of things as when the planets are going backwards and so many are it has a big effect . 

    • Guest
      Guest shawnalb

      Posted

      Hi Shawna, that’s what my ex-gyn tried... I wanted to talk with her about peri and she told me to get a psychiatrist and get on medication.  That day played a huge role in my decision to take this a day at a time with all the non-drug support I can find:  caring people, hobbies, church, this forum of wonderful ladies ... Oh heck no, indeed!   🌸💕

  • juanita93228
    juanita93228 mauiblue

    Posted

    My dreams have been horrible lately too. And I work with a lady whose son committed suicide last year on his 18th birthday. It changed her spirit. I don't know how to explain it. She used to love to bake, but she doesn't much anymore and when she does it doesn't taste the same. She says she's fine, but I am so sensitive to people's feeling now I know she is absolutely not fine.

    I work in Law Enforcement and see and hear awful things all day. I cannot wait to retire. I don't watch the news. My TV is always on the Hallmark Channel. Pray, pray, pray.🤗?

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