Dating someone with depression
Posted , 6 users are following.
im currently in a good relationship with a man who has depression. We have been together nearly 4 month now. He was honest about depression from the very start but didn't really go into details. Up to now luckily it hasn't effected us at all. He had said it was improving and has seemed ok so I assumed it was ok. Today he mentioned he needs another sick note to stay on esa money from doctor. This led to me asking if he feels he would be able to work now if he had chance. He said he doesn't know but is trying to get on some course to help him get job if he feels up to it. He said he has days where he can't face doing anything every few days. Now I only see him once or twice a week due to us living far apart but he always seems fine. He said he hasn't had bad day when seeing me yet which could be partly luck and partly because it is something he looks forward to. I asked if he would still be able to meet as planned if he was having bad day when we had planned it. He said no.
Now I have never had depression or known anyone with it but I do know it's an illness that people don't understand if they haven't had it. I do not for one minute understand how someone feeling down would effect them going somewhere. But for the sake of this relationship I'm willing to at least act understanding. My next question indicated pretty much what I guessed was the case. We are planning to have a night away next month just to have time together. It will be in a premier inn near me therefore we will need to pay in advance and go or lose money. So I asked him what would happen if we had paid for room then he felt down on the day he said he would still make effort to come. So he can make effort if he chooses to. I'm thinking it's going to be a matter of both of us being understanding to the other. Like once or twice him not meeting because of being down me not trying to push him to and being understanding and if it does happen more often him making effort to still meet sometimes.
up to now he's only once not met when planned and he kept being sick that day so totally understandable he has met twice when he probably didn't feel like it as much once he wasn't feeling too well and once he had bad headache which he'd warned me puts him in bad mood but he seemed fine both times.
0 likes, 20 replies
Jen09 marie2486
Posted
Depression is more than just feeling down it's understandable to think this if you have not suffered yourself. When someone is going through an episode of depression everything including simple everyday tasks are extremely hard to do. When I am like this I don't want to do anything or see anyone including my boyfriend of two years. The only feelings I have are negative ones and I loose interest in life.
Therefore going out and pretending everything is fine is impossible!
What your boyfriend needs during a particularly bad day is your complete support and understanding. If he wants you to be there just be there and sit with him you don't have to say anything just being there will mean the world to him. And if he needs space then give him space, don't take it to heart it's got nothing to do with you.
I hope this has given you a better understanding. Your boyfriend is very lucky to have someone like you willing to support him
nicki16559 Jen09
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marie2486
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Jen09 marie2486
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In the mean time focus on you and do something that you enjoy doing. You can even make him a card letting him know that you care and write little jokes and phrases in it to cheer him up a little.
Sarah812 marie2486
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michael_37726 marie2486
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Sarah812 michael_37726
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michael_37726 Sarah812
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I'm better off on my own I just can't cope with the emotional roller coaster of relationships anymore. Yes it's lonely on your own but I'm going to get out and about more from now on and take up some hobbies then that way I won't be lonely and I will have things to occupy my mind. I will find happyness that way and not by being in a relationship. Relationships are not everything
Sarah812 michael_37726
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michael_37726 Sarah812
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michael_37726 Sarah812
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michael_37726
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Sarah812 michael_37726
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Sarah812
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today
single living
Sarah812 michael_37726
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I can do whatever I want, when I want and no one (usually) complains lol
michael_37726 Sarah812
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