1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Alcohol Consumption

Day 5

Posted , 11 users are following.

ArtGrl
ArtGrl

This is the longest I've gone without alcohol for about 20 years.  It feels like a momentous day for me!!! But hubby just doesn't see what the big deal is, and when I told him this morning I think he'd had no idea I was that regular of a drinker and thinks it's really strange that I think this is a big deal.  So, I'm coming here to celebrate!! smilesmile  Okay, that felt good.

Physically I'm still having prickly skin and sleeping SO MUCH that I haven't been very productive.  I have managed to get household stuff done that I would normally do with a buzz, but I still have not been able to work in my art studio.  I just have such a strong association of being buzzed and happy while creating that I've stood in front of my palette and easel and don't feel it.  So I just walk away.  Which is bad because I have a commissioned piece that was supposed to be finished by this weekend.  Alcohol gave me that energy and push to get lost in the process and now it just feels... like work, not fun.

It was awkward for my husband and I this weekend figuring out what to do.  Normally he really likes to go out to a bar together, and ask certain friends that we'd hang out with - that was one way we bonded and socialized after being so busy all week.  He just wants to avoid the whole alcohol subject, has no interest in talking about it with me and his solution was to stay in his room and play video games all weekend, which means not interacting with me because I think this whole not-drinking thing makes him a little lost. I don't want to be left out of fun just because I'm not drinking!  So I found a state fair for us to get out of the house and go to together.  Even though we were two of the oldest people there and he was so resistant, I convinced him to go on some rides and by the end he was laughing and having a good time.  Last night we went to a movie, but just us.  Afterwards we would normally have headed "out" but we just went home.  I think he finds sober me pretty boring and isolating compared to going out drinking, but I hope he realizes I as a person am much more fun to be around when I'm not angry or crazy or hungover from drinking.  Plus I've already lost 2 lbs and my skin is starting to clear up, so that should make me more physically attractive soon.  

For me, I'm proud of myself.  I had started an exercise and diet plan a couple of weeks ago but wasn't seeing much results because I was still drinking.  Without all the poisons to process these last few days, I can gradually feel myself getting stronger for the first time, not just recovering from being hungover.  I also feel proud that I'm so far keeping a promise to myself.  

But I need to work in the studio today, and whenever I start to work, his bottle of scotch in the kitchen starts calling....

3 likes, 30 replies

30 Replies

Prev
  • time4change
    time4change ArtGrl

    Posted

    Hi ArtGirl, i am in exactly the same position as you and today is my day 1.. i think i will do an update each day to monitor how i am feeling. I am self employed designer and have absolutely no interest in working today as i drank last night, but came to the same conclusion as you that i need to be clear headed and motivated. I have a family life that i am going to ruin if i dont sort myself out. I have weight issues and have been in total denial about why my weight is up, hitting the gym hard but drinking hard so loosing nothing. I want to have my energy levels back and want to be a good role model for my two girls. I am going to track my progress here. My husband doesnt understand when i say it, he drinks just as much, but doesnt seem at least he doesnt say it - to have the same hatred about the cycle we are in as i do. I want to change and get fit and healthy. Maybe this forum wil help me get things off my chest and work through it.  I think life without alcohol will be great, and we will have to find a new high... coz to be honest i wasnt that much fun, i would be to a certain point then i would black out and ask how did we get home, what happened at the end of the movie, sick of loosing chunks of my life to a poison. So thats me anyway :-)
    • ArtGrl
      ArtGrl time4change

      Posted

      Hi time4change, I hear you about hating the cycle, yes!  You'll laugh about this but last night I went to set up my workout room so I don't have to in the morning and the DVD player was hooked up to a different TV!  I don't remember bringing it out to the living room and I don't remember what we watched on it.  Good lord... talk about losing chunks of life, I'm right there with ya!  

      As far as doing art, I'm so far behind on my art commissions because I used to use alcohol to fuel my creativity and energy (and then crash and burn later, of course).  Since I've cut way back on alcohol I've been so clear headed in every area but still have a major block about working in my studio.  I just feel like I can't concentrate and create without a buzz.  Ugh! My clients are getting pretty upset that I'm about a month overdue.  

      By all means, please do keep posting updates if that'll help, would love to hear how you're doing, and it's good to know we're not alone!  Worked out today (once I found my DVD player, hahaha) because I didn't drink yesterday, which set up a good spiral of sleeping well last night and my muscles weren't so busy detoxing poison out of them that I had energy to lift some weights, but had a MAJOR urge to get a bottle of something to make it a "fun" afternoon studying.  Luckily I did that urge surfing technique and rode it out.  I realize a lot of the time I want to drink it's because I'm hungry and don't want to bother making food. But, I came home, made food and now so happy I didn't drink!  

      Anyway, keep posting!  I do it when I need to and stay away from the forum when I need to, that's what I love about this format.

  • time4change
    time4change ArtGrl

    Posted

    Hi ArtGrl, i slept so well last night which suprised me as i had been drinking a bottle of wine + maybe two beers most nights for a long time.. so i was chuffed when i woke up fresh as a daisy this morning. I said to hubby that i liked feeling like this and am cutting right back, and he said for during the week anyway, which is his way of saying we are having some at the weekend. Anyway i am going to keep going, i got myself a diary - just a small note book to right down the positive feelings i have throughout the day, little things i notice because i am Alochol free today. Little things i will do which i would avoid if i was hungover. So i will keep that up, i think when i am struggling it will be good to look back. I am hoping a bonus of the cutting back will be weight loss. So lets see what happens? I can feel my liver relaxing today after being given a break last night, loads of water with lemon today to detox my system. Keep posting as i would love to hear how your getting on.
    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 ArtGrl

      Posted

      amazing effort...keep going..also give yourself a treat and do somehting you wold not normally do. Cinema, food or favourite restaurant etc...give it a try and best of luck!
  • Radley13
    Radley13 ArtGrl

    Posted

    Well done Artgrl and Welcome to Change - I paint furniture and feel the same and havent done any for a year  - I am now on my day 5 and I have found it, oh such a difficult week detoxing on my own - I just wish there was more support out there but they are so low on resourses for people in this position of wanting to make the change and when you try there is no or little support.  Thank good ness for these forums where you can off load you are doing so well and I am just going to keep trucking. x
    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 Radley13

      Posted

      Go out Radley and get yourself a treat right now!! Cake or snacks?? Something to get drinking off your mind and but lots of different juices or whatever flavours you like in your swtich from drinking to a healthier life. I did it 2yrs 8 months ago and not looking back. Stopped cold but not everybody and or should do this without medical advice. Best of luck   smile
    • ArtGrl
      ArtGrl Radley13

      Posted

      Thanks Radley13 smile  I feel the same way - glad for these online forums! I relapsed this past weekend, sent an embarrassing text and totally flaked on plans with my husband that I asked him to do!  Terrible sad  anyway, back to Day 1 today.
    • ArtGrl
      ArtGrl Robin2015

      Posted

      Robin2015 - wow, almost 3 years ago?!  I can't wait to be able to say that!!!  That is so awesome smile  Any tips of maintaining long term would be great!  I like your recommendation to go out and get a treat when you have the urge to drink.  I'll have to remember that one
    • ArtGrl
      ArtGrl Radley13

      Posted

      Oh, and I also started reading books as a way of getting support and keep myself in the right frame of mind.  Well, I started last night...Read two already.  I think I'm going to have to keep rereading them, it's like talking to someone who gets it
    • vickylou
      vickylou Robin2015

      Posted

      Robin I took your advice, 12 days with no alcohol or meds. So bought a very expensive handbag. I had two small glasses of wine over the weekend, and feel much better anxiety wise now. Had nails done on Saturday, took a friend to a hospital appointment yesterday, and having hair done this morning. Two weeks ago I couldn't have cared less how I looked. Thanks again for your support.
  • Radley13
    Radley13 ArtGrl

    Posted

    Hi ArtGrl I have been very up and down hence not been on the forum - and decided to go to AA as well as a counsellor every week.  I do really think that AA is working well for me at the moment I go to the meetings I want to go to and I feel there is a purpose in my life for attending.  I do hope you are doing well x
  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 ArtGrl

    Posted

    Its really hard to accomplish what you are trying to do without the support of loved ones..i.e. your husband.  REALLY HARD.

    I'm amazed that you haven't given up.  Once you totally stop....and form new habits....it will get easier.  The sad fact is that you may find out that the current situation with your husband may not be beneficial to your sobriety and end up having to leave this situation to remain "healthy".

    If he loves you...which I'm not saying he doesn't....yes, he has lost his drinking partner and is probably resentful...and this may pass....but if it doesn't..the alternative is a split so you can both be happy even if it temproary...you can't have someone dragging you down.

    True love..is wanting the BEST and bringing out the BEST in each other FOR each other.

    Your artistic flow will return with a period of abstinence from alcohol.....your motivation will be greater.....your energy...eating habits, sleeping habits all improve.

    Alcohol is poison we put in our bodies...no health benefit except for those that can drink ONLY one glass a wine a couple times a week for health benefits.

    But I COULD NEVER only have one glass of ANYTHING....so I get my heart healthy in other ways.

    This is your one life...I hope you find a way to live it to the fullest.  I had a year sober and had to leave a 22 year relationship...it was so difficult....and I didn't drink thru it...I was able to handle it...and it needed to happen for my sobriety.

     

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.