Debilitating symptoms. Brain fog...extreme memory loss...spacey 24/7!

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The last year of my life has been a brutal one. At the age of 22, I am in the lowest of lows and I desperately need some help!

Here’s my tale:

About a year ago, a couple months after an extremely strenuous relationship, I began noticing that I was tired all the time…and all around, I wasn’t really satisfied. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed my friends, and activities…but life just wasn’t as bright and vibrant anymore after a month of noticing this ever-present fatigue, it got a bit stronger. I would wake up each morning completely zombie-mode…and that feeling would remain throughout the entirety of my day, until my head hit my pillow that evening.

Initially, I suspected some form of sleeping disorder. I set up a sleep study, got my thyroid checked, ferritin levels, all the basics. Sleep study revealed I sleep just fine and all my other blood tests came back negative.

The fatigue and the weight of the world slowly got worse over the next handful of months, UNTIL I woke up one morning and everything escalated greatly. I felt completely stoned. I couldn’t think right. I couldn’t concentrate. I felt inebriated. I felt totally disconnected and spacey. I felt as though I had no control over myself. I lost drive and motivation. I lost a lot of confidence.  I always had an incredibly sharp memory. It was actually something well known about me to those in my family and friend circles. Yet, on this morning, almost all new information could not be retained. Things that happened earlier in the day, by evening, I felt they happened a day or two before. I could no longer recount the activities I took part in. This is possibly the worst of all the symptoms. The extreme short term memory. I have no context for time and I sort of feel like I’m just floating through life suffering.

For months I visited doctors getting tested by specialists. I visited a neurologist, infectious disease, I had an MRI, & I had about 20 different blood tests. NOTHING. My doctor literally said “I have no idea what this could be. I am beside myself” TOTES reassuring! I tried altering my diet entirely to organic and all natural. I continued my workouts and ran 15 miles a week. I tried sleeping even earlier. I tried all I could think of .

I have scoured the message boards and found a few people suffering from the same, but without answers.

I’m not sure if depression is the culprit, but depression sure has found its nasty venom-coated fangs into my veins. Tired, depressed, failed memory, no drive, scared…it’s no way to live. I want my life back.

PLEASE OFFER INSIGHT! I will be so grateful J

Sincerely,

Taylorsaurus Rex

54 likes, 1428 replies

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  • Edited

    Hi, I have been going through similar things. I try to get things done like house cleaning or mowing and find myself having to sit down after about 20 minutes. Then I am very stiff and fatigued. I totally lose my motivation. I've been trying to find answers. I only get Fibromylgia, which I know I have. I didn't realize that it is so debilitating though. They only treat symptoms. I don't know if this is helpful but I feel like there is something else they are missing.

    Shannan

  • Edited

    aww bless ya hun, feeling this way is a terrible way to live, i also have suffered from generalised anxeity for most of my life, in fact as im typing this im having a level 8 attack. i try to distract but its impossible to stop my brain. for me whenever this washes over me and i lose my grip and my child 15 suffers he has watched me this way for his whole life, and every episode brings in social services and it all becomes about my son and his well being, as i should do agreeable, but this then effects my treatment because its no longer about me but my son. people say think about your son and im like uhh duh he is my child i think of him always, but anxeity doesnt give a s**t it will just consume you, and i get so desperate for relife that i end up self harming to kind of rewire my thoughts not to die not at all i want to live a full healthy happy life i want to do everything other people do. im sorry i dont want to be a debbie downer but im at my wits end and help is no where to be found, its disgusting to leave me without any mental health support for 8 months covid was badly mismanaged by the government l, the suffering goes deep and wide i just wish that vulnerable people where left to deal with it. I am angry at the mental health service and i would like answers. I just wish i had something more posotive for you but im struggling too and cant see any light at end of tunnel. I really hope you find a healthy coping stratergy and you lead a full and happy life .

  • Edited

    Unfortunately I know the cause but don't have a solution for anyone. Everything I have read is all classic severe anxiety. The disassociated feeling, kind of like your looking in and watching yourself carry through time but have no real since of it yourself, the feeling like maybe I just need to sleep or eat or something and this will pass......... Possibly the other parts too, the ringing ears, the numb lips or feeling of your tongue is burned, the cold hands and feet or Possibly whole body is cold, the realization that even right now, your whole body is tense, squeezing the muscles In your legs and arms and most likely everywhere. While this will do nothing to cure this tormented state of being, it may come as some solace that you have an answer at least as i would wager everything that every statement I read, and I read them all, where all directly indicating long bouts with severe anxiety, most likely it never acured that that could cause all this but it absolutely does. I for the past 5 years have been on a heavy prescription of xanax and klonopin, it has eased 99% of all of this but at the cost of turning me into a mental zombie. I never felt myself slipping away, most likely because at the time I was prescribed medication, I would have given up almost anything to have some relief of the crippling feeling of freaking out constantly!!!! Today I am 7 days into stopping my prescription. The exact reason, I can't tell you but hear I am. Back with the flood of anxiety, fear, panic and being disassociated. I pray I can complete my mission of not being held a slave to a substance that will mute who and what I am, but I can't live like this. I have too many responsibilities to lay, locked in my bed and not even being able to talk to someone on the phone. I have also subsequently quit smoking at the same time because of me being to fearful of leaving my house to get more. So whatever hold cigarettes have had on me, for 24 years, was totally overcome by my anxiety of doing anything until the dream of waking up and not immediately being thrown into a constant battle with not fully being overcome with fear, was my reality.............. If not soon I will unfortunately have to go back to muting myself and living to only 10% of my potential......However,,,,,,, that's alot better than being locked, here on my bed for yet another day, with no end in sight being reminded of yet another strange symptom of anxiety and that's all of assuden smelling something horrible in the air with no apparent cause, most likely meaning I am now disgusted with how my house smells.............. why? why? 😶

    • Posted

      To add to this and evectivly respond to the memory part, you absolutely will be almost unable to remember anything while your going through a disassociated state. BTW, before you all look that exact word up and find out what disassociative disorder is, it's possible it's just anxiety and not just a disassociated disorder, which you will find borders schizophrenia, yep scared the hell out of me. Until I forced myself to read every publication on the disorder for the past 13 hours, it's certainly possible that some could actually be on the side of being disassociated without the anxiety, but I know what all got you to even reading this, and that's anxiety and being in an almost manic state, having to read every reply, somewhat frantically.......... Again, your not allone and there is your answer, I just hope that not having to spend years finding out the first part, the "what is this" then you will be able to spend the time working on healthy ways of relieving the panic. Also, for quick background, no trauma during my childhood, you will find that is brought up alot. especially when your being asked questions to figure out if your specific diagnosis is multiple personality disorder......... yep, it's all tied in....... Now I'm feeling like maybe knowing that may not help anyone. I don't know. I lack the computing power to reason with myself anymore on whether I should have spoke up or not. I just figured someone else had already figured this out and would have responded. I really do hope everyone finds their calm.

  • Posted

    oh my god, i have had this for 5 months and no doctors or anyone can find anything. im 22 years of age also, please if you ever find the cause or what it could possibly be. please write it on here.

    i hope you get better soon as this is the worse thing i have ever experience...

  • Posted

    how are you now. I'm 58 and going thru what you did. I was a?normal healthy women till one day woke up 2019. haven't been the same since. if your better. what did you do or diagnosis with

  • Posted

    how are you now. I'm 58 and going thru what you did. I was a?normal healthy women till one day woke up 2019. haven't been the same since. if your better. what did you do or diagnosis with

  • Posted

    i liturally can 100% relate to this!! Every word, it really is an illness in itself

    if you find a cure pls pass it myway x

  • Posted

    This sounds like chronic fatigue i do not suffer with this but I know people who do and your symptoms sound very similar. There is allot of information about it on the net.

  • Edited

    most of what your all saying is exactly what i feel to a tee. .the last time i had severe anxiety and stress was in 2013. i was working with someone that played head games and was a gaslighter. than i started researching psycology and i had a revalation. i realized i was not in touch with my sense of self and was basically easily manipulated because im a trusting person. atthat point i was re evaluating my entire life and friendships and i started to think everyone was a sociopath. then i read up on empaths and realized im one. all this while working in construction with people that have no empathy sent me into a nervous breakdown like state. i know some of what was happening to me was my own mind f*****g with me but my intuition was also telling me something. at this point i felt lost and confused. . it was like i learned to much about psychology that i gave myself a nervous breakdown. i took two weeks off from work at that point and quit drinking and just did nothing. wasnt easy to find myself but i started to feel better as time went by. i too had that pressure in my brain. i eventually rwalized that im an empath. we feel everything including other peoples stresses. i think wgats gappening in most cases is a form of burnout. burnout and stress plus anxiety can literally make you feel like you have alzhiemers. yiur brain need to reboot. the pressure goes away with time and you regain focus. happens to mostly inteligent people unfortunately. ignorance is bliss. read up about psychology , empaths, , narcisists, and sense of self your not alone. im struggling really bad at the moment. i lost my mom and my sister has aids and is dying. just because your not in direct contact with your thoughts doesnt mean theee not there in a subconcious way. thanks for reading. go for a quiet walk by yourself and read about sense of self. your all overloaded with to much info and stress. burnout is brutal trust me i know. but there is ways to get back.

    • Posted

      im also looking into sleep apnea ive been waking up with a dry mouth to the point im spitting up blood from it being so dry. so im going to get checked for that. .. because lately ive been feeling exausted and i xant handle stress anymore. im easily drained by conversations that i lterally need a nap. sucks but knowledge is key.

  • Edited

    i also think tgat your all to smart for your own good. being to smart and self aware can be a nightmare if you dont understand why your feeling a certain way. youll overthink yourself to death untill the point of burnout. im telling you burnout is insane. it needs to be understood by the medical field way more.

  • Posted

    im actually 42. you have extreme burnout in my opinion. i had the same symptoms in various times of my life. when you have them you feel like your always going to feel that way. sounds like a mix of anxiety, depression, and possible adhd. are you a perfectionist?

  • Posted

    im actually 42. you have extreme burnout in my opinion. i had the same symptoms in various times of my life. when you have them you feel like your always going to feel that way. sounds like a mix of anxiety, depression, and possible adhd. are you a perfectionist?

  • Posted

    I have many problems to the point where I can't feel normal anymore. First like William said I am waking up with dry mouth that is so bad that it sometimes bleeds and feels like it can't be quenched. Often also wake up with heart palpitations and anxiety from nightmares. The nightmares are scary and realistic. All day I can't concentrate on anything and I feel spaced out. I have fatigue all day and feel like sleeping all the time. I don't feel like socializing with people at all anymore and prefer not being around anyone. I am nervous constantly and can't relax. It's hard to exercise because of no energy. Nothing feels fun. I literally don't feel like doing anything. Rarely every few months I will have a day where I feel completely normal so there must be some neurological problem causing this but then the next day I will go back to feeling bad. Things don't feel "real" like it's some sort of different reality.

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