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Hello, I dont expect anybody to truely care about me on here but i'm using it as a place to let out my thoughts. I feel trapped inside myself and lost.
I've been on the road to depression for a year now and feel i'm there. My fiancée knows, her family and my mum and dad. This hasn't really helped though. I'm battling a eating disorder also. I went to the doctors, I was referred to a mental health specialist but I didn't ring within 10 days so when I did ring they sent me away. I couldn't believe it.
I get teary and suicidal thoughts daily always wanting to leave this hell behind and think death is the only place I will find my peace. The only thing stopping me from taking this further is my love of my life who I cant put through the pain. I know she will feel worse afterwards then I do now. But the pain I feel is like something inside me trying to get out. This is not living. This is being. My parents think they hold all the cures and are unable to just listen to me.
I'm slowly crumbling as a person. I just want to hide.
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