depression

Posted , 9 users are following.

 ten commandments for reducing stress! 1, i will not be perfect.nor even try. 2, i will not try to be all things to all people 3, i will not leave things undone that ought to be done 4, i will not spread myself too thin 5, i will learn to say no 6 i will schedule time for my self and supportive network 7, i will switch off and do nothing regularly 8, i will be boring, inelegant, untidy and unattractive at times 9, i will not feel guilty 10, i will not be my own worse enemy but my best friend.

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  • Posted

    Hi Julie,

    i like that it's being honest with yourself. I shall try and follow that. I got up being a bit more positive thinking how I was going back to work Thursday as signed off till wed.

    i still dread going back but I have bills to pay still. I just don't want the attention as I know they will be pleased to see me ! The chef will want to,know why I was away.

    i just want to work and say nothing how I feel. I use to be outgoing and love to talk so it's the fear anxiety kicking in, maybe the doc will try different meds.

    i think it's the waiting for the bus sitting on the bus the journey to work.. Thinking thinking , I'm scared to be honest im so stupid. I've lost my confidence . Trouble is some customers know me from past , they see me as a waitress rather than being waited on I feel inferior and that puts mind in negative mood.  Am I going. Crazy or is this usual when you're depressed. It's the  hurry hurry hurry. At work I don't like.

    the other staff are fine they just get on with it. I think its okay for you you don't have worries like me and my mind works overtime . Do you understand how I'm feeling .??

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    • Posted

      yes i do very much so! your not going crazy speak up i was a chef i went throught this driving to work and mind working over time! i left the job and am now on a road to recovery. hang in there
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    • Posted

      Hi Carole ~

      If I read this correctly, it sounds like you got an advance at work to possibly a manager's position as you stated you  used to wait on people now they wait on you, is this correct?  If so, you should be  very proud of yourself and allow other's to think that of  you too.  It's a hard thing to be advanced in the resturant workplace.  Believe me, I know this.  Everyone seems to be cutthroat to get to the top.  I've worked ever since I've been 13 and started at a fast food rest.  I was promoted at age 14, believe this? 14 and in charge of this food chain...omgosh my parents were so very nervous for me as I had to lock up alone, put money away and be on my way.  So, because of my age, my father would come up and wait for me. 

      From that job, I went to another huge chain, hotel/resturant.  I was promoted w/i 5 mths of employment.  Everyone was ticked as they wanted the position I was getting and they didn't make it easy on me.  I didn't care, I wasn't there to make friends.  Although, I met my husband at that place lol

      So, I do know that kind of employment is very difficult to get ahead and if you've achieved this, you must be an asset to all!

      I wish you well and hope your anxiety slows down and you see your worth as you slowly prepare to continue working.

      Good luck

      Frustrated

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    • Posted

      No I was just a waitress  and also working in kitchen making sandwhiches

      and jacket pots with fillings etc . Nothing amazing .

      i hate the job and it brought out the worse in me, made me Ill the environment and the staff. Being bossed around by various people

      i felt irritated to tell the truth. Saw doc today and off another fortnight.

      i dread talking to the boss today and tell him I'm off another two weeks.

      i don't like the way I am at the moment. Irritable and anxious all the time .

      so gon a try citalopram.  Hope you're okay. 

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    • Posted

      Thank you Carol, I'm doing better this week.  I'm sorry you're in a job you're not happy with.  I was an executive secretary in an elementary school for over 12 years and then had an auto acccident and had to quit my job.  I tried for a year to get back into working but my body was so distressed I couldn't handle it.  I loved that job.  I worked with happy people and lovely children and a boss anyone would die to work for.  She was awesome.  I had all the holidays off as the kids had and every summer off, that alone was much to be desired but the fact that everyone I worked with was like second family to me, that felt so special.  After being out of work for over 10 yrs now, I still keep in touch with all of them.  Some via facebook and some actually meeting up with them for lunch or dinner or something special.

      So, I know what you're saying when you're not happy with what you're doing.  You do it for over 8 hrs a day and that's a huge chunk of time to not be happy.

      I wish you well and hope things turn around for you.

      Hoping and wishing you well,

      Frustrated

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    • Posted

      O  I am sorry, well I can tell you I was in a job of only a few week s. Cos I needed the money that was all. The main job I loved for 7 years I loved too

      was optical assistant but missed out on my training because my husband had a serious road accident had to be cut out of lorry , his whole hip wa crushed just hip joint was left, so I was in despair of course 2002 having a nine year old at home , I worked for 2 years and had deep depression

      not being able to cope with it all. Left in 2004 as couldn't cope . I cried for days over it. 

      We had to move house as couldn't pay mortgage, sold everything car etc to live on as my husband couldn't work  for 2 years lost his HGV job he loved.

      i had to nurse him through the years. Has nerve palsy too in right foot as nerve snapped in leg so no feeling in his foot. Moved house again lost all

      as work my husband could do was bad pay. Not suitable I lost my job, house and everthing , were awarded compensation payed off rest of debt on mortgage lost house as well.  Went to rented 2009 rented ever since. I miss having a home stability everything. It's the home I loved I grieved for and still do.  Never will have again.  My husband does work and happy at last.

      but off sick with toe op he had . But nothing serious thank goodness.

      i too would love have a simple none worrying life hopefully this will come in time .  Hope your days are brighter everyday keep me posted.

      and b

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    • Posted

      Hi Carole ~

      It sounds like you've had your plate full.  I'm sorry you had to and are having to go through all this.

      I hope things turn around for you and your family as no one deserves this sort of treatment.

      Good luck

      Frustrated

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  • Posted

    Hi Carole and Julie too,

    Everything you say is so true,I've been on mirtazapine 15mg for 2 weeks then 30mg for another 2 weeks.Just have no motivation at all,sleeping 10 hours at a time,don't want to see anyone and am petrified of going back to work panicking about money and everything else that i can think of.

    Currently on benefits after having worked since leaving school in 1979!!!

    No motivation at all,lost my partner of 21 years early this year then a series of bad events left me with no confidence at all,totally not how I've been up until now.

    Just hoping the drugs do work soon as can't currently contemplate getting through the "festive" season.

    Love to all

    Paul x

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    • Posted

      hi paul i understand i was on 30mg no good so came off 30mg and now on 50mg sertraline in morning and 15mg mirtz at night . result! maybe discuss this with your gp 
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    • Posted

      Hi julie,i omitted to say gp put me on 50mg sert then another doc,same surgery upped to 100mg,was hallucinating and sweating every night,absolutely soaking,getting up 2 or 3am to change sheets etc so took me off then put me on heavy dose of diazepam at which point i gave up and came off everything but soon spiralled don again.

      Will persevere with current dosage and hope the gloom and doom feelings subside,especially mornings.

      Thanks for your speedy response x

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    • Posted

      Hi Paul ,

      its comforting to know we aren't on our own, even though you feel as if you are. My husband says you're ina world of your own I wish he would,nt notice me as I don't like it when I am I like to be invisible if you know what I mean. We have to take one day at a time, sorry to hear of your loss of your partner. 21 years is a long time  it takes time for your pain to heal.

      try and not sleep so much in bed set a goal for yourself I will get up at 

      specific time I know you don't feel like it, coz I go through the same but I set a time in my mind to get upas the longer I do the worse I feel.

      i don't know about mirt as currently not taking anything as I have had before took Prozac for many years only one a day if I took more I felt worse . So I'm not sure if the medication helps. If they don't help go back to doctor and ask for a therapy of counselling talking over the phone etc

      all I wish for is to get better but my husband says it's only yourself that can do it. But he doesnt really understand.  Although he had a serious road accident asked is partly disabled been through hell but it was me that nursed him and propped him up. Whose going to prop me up and nurse my brain you see it's not noticeable until your brain crashes . 

      What real help is out there. Real things are happening such as debts.  Me being silly. It's like I'm fighting with my self half the time ,

      wish you well keep safe.  I feel I need to change my job as caterer as a carer for the elderly I like making people happy gives me a buzz !! 

      Maybe that's the answer  but I've only been in this job few weeks. As a waitress or scivy.  Sorry mind working again .

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    • Posted

      hi paul i also got the side effect of sert (sweating) and found since i added 15mg mirtz with 50mg of sert i no longer have this side effect, hope thats of some help. julie
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    • Posted

      Hi Carole,

      I know what you mean about your hubby,people say similar to me,currently seeing counselor in Kendal who is ok but gave me a "list" of thing to do or try.Fly a kite! Shoot some pool!!! Found out it was from Australia I suppose they have to tick boxes don't they?

      People just don't get what is going on inside someone's head if they're feeling like this.

      I do push myself to get out of bed usually before 8-8.30am. Always been up before 7am but now its nearly impossible.

      I hope you can manage to go down the carers route,i feel the same about that myself.its really rewarding to help others if you can.

      Take care

      Paul

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    • Posted

      Hi Paul, again, smile

      It takes some meds almost a month til your body becomes adjusted to them.  You're almost there!  I've left a detailed message in a previous post to you, perhaps you can check out working out of the home.  Although, if that happens, don't become a hermit! 

      One good thing is you're asking for help.  With this site and this discussion, many can come to your aid with suggestions.  However, we can't pay your bills so that worry is yours but I can emphasize with you regarding that area. 

      You will do it!  Just keep telling yourself you can do this...even if it means changing job styles.

      Good luck!

      Frustrated

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    • Posted

      Hi Carole ~

      I can read your humor and you did make me laugh.  You're good at that and that's something that many people with depression seem to be good at, making other's well and feel good.  When it comes to ourselves, that's a different story.  Why do you suppose this is?

      It's always amazed me that in any crisis, I can be of help in any which way.  While I'm in crisis, seems people have scattered left and right, why would you think that would happen?  I've been an honest and loyal friend to all.  Did I give more than they are willing to give back? Or did I just pick a group of selfish friends?  I'm truly serious about this.  I've flummoxed with all that has happened.  I do know, if I picked up the phone and called any of my friends, they'd help me.  But that's just it, they know my situation, why can't they call me?  This has been an ongoing battle of my mind ever since the auto accident 10 yrs ago and again last year 2013.  Two auto accidents and still feeling alone.  I cannot work although I'm going to take my advice on what I've given to Paul and seek employment at home.  I can take dictation of medical records, terminology from the doctors etc...also, can do dictation of law.  So, I'm excited with the aspect of this actually happening for me.  Why not try, right?

      Anyway, I'm rambling. razz But it feels so good to ramble with people understanding the depth of depression.

      Thank you,

      Frustrated

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