Depression and Anxiety

Hey friend, I don't lots of experience but I can say that to you don't care or think for other peoples who are always hurt you and take small points and fight with you. Just think about your self and do what you want in your life. I know this is difficult but it will good for you. Best luck buddy

Hello Michael, I hope you are still seeing the messages on this post and that you are physically ok. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I totally understand what you are going through because I suffered with depression over years without even knowing I had depression and even to this day I have anxiety attacks, and I know how hard it is and how shameful it feels to tell other people. What I would encourage you to do is to get yourself to understand that you are just like everybody else, and not less than anyone because you have anxiety and depression, that's what I've been doing everyday, and It is hard! but it really works. It is a mental ilness, and unfortunately most people make you feel like it is all your fault to be like that, and that you are wrong, thinking wrong and you need to get better. But what I believe you need to do is search the reason of your depression. When I was a child, my father used to spank me every single day, for random things, and usually because he had a mental ilness himself (he was very paranoic), and my mother would think it was good for my education. This way I ended up growing up thinking that I was the wrong person, and that I should have been born different, so my father wouldn't have beaten me up so much, because I was making him do it. After many years of seeing several people supporting my father, and saying he was just having his fatherhood authority over me and it was normal, I finally understood I would never do this to my own kids, since it has done so much harm to my life, and not just in my childhood. Then I realized my depression wasn't my fault and didn't come out of nowhere. This way I could guide myself to understand my feelings of "I am always wrong" and "I am doing everything wrong", and see that it wasn't really me, but only the pressure I was putting on myself.

I believe it is going to be really hard to fight your depression if you don't know exactly what's causing it and how can you handle it. I know what you feel, there are several wounds that need to be healed, they take time to heal, it's really not fast and simple, but it is possible. Eating disorders, weight loss, other diseases, drug abuse, frustration, it all can come with it, but your life is valuable and important, you DESERVE to live a happy and enjoyable life, and depression can't lead your, it can come once in a while, but it can't be the main thing in your life. 

You are already strong enough to look for help, so you can fight it, you are stronger than you think! Look for the source of these feelings and work this out with a good counselor! Many people love you and care for you. If you believe in a God, talk to him, share your feelings in a prayer, put it out. Get ready before talking to your family, but don't keep it inside yourself. Have faith!

You will make it!

Michael really sorry to hear your state and on top having no one to share makes it more difficult...I have gone through the phases myself and every time there is a learning that it is you and only you who can make a difference to the world- please join some pisitive life philospphy which can help you...and first and foremost stop the mind chatter because lot of times the mind chatter takes you to the plane which might not be a reallitybut you have thought the worst of your life and think that is what your life is...if you have no strength to work please find some NGO were you can do some volunteer work....there is lot to do in this world...money is of key important but it is your good health which will take you there....so look around to do some volunteer work 

Hello, Michael. I can't really say I know what you're feeling or that I've been through what you're currently experiencing but I can relate half of what you've mentioned in you're posts. Though it relates to someone I know, so I might not be that helpful, even so it makes me happy that you reached out for help. The internet can be a wonderful thing sometimes, we can ask for help and people not knowing who the other person is uncannily helps the other as much as they can. So don't hold back yourself from reaching out to people for whatever it may be troubling you even if it's little. It also eases the heart and might even let you figure out before your demons grow. What you're going through right now is really serious and should not be ignored and if that chimpanzee in a white lab coat can't see that, people should p*ss on him! Sorry if I sound immature but some doctors don't see things until it's too late. But that does not mean you should be so reluctant to talk to someone. You talked to your mother and that's a good thing in its own way. Don't beat yourself up for what her reaction was, she was just unprepared for it that's all really. As you said about your uncles, past must have flashed before her and seeing you in pain that must have been hard for her no parent wants their child to suffer. The tears in her eyes is not your fault and I know it's painful to see your Mum cry, but it is not you're fault for what you're feeling and you shouldn't convince yourself that it is. You simply reached out for help, is that so bad?— it's not. That does not make you selfish or someone who spreads misery. Believe me some part of her must have been relieved you spoke to her. Being depressed is not anyone's choice but it still waltz's into our lives and makes our journey a living hell. Some do get out and the same can be for you, though it may take time but you don't have to go through it alone, I'm here for you. You said you can't move forward, why? What's keeping you, pulling you back? Is it because of your uncle's suicide? I'm terribly sorry if I'm being rude or too nosy. You don't have to tell me everything if you feel you're private space is being infiltrated by some creep but we're all still here for you. You can relive some of your stress by simply talking to us. Being the eldest is hard, not saying because of the butt load o' responsibilities, but it absolutely does not mean you have to deal with sh*t, at least not alone. And one more thing Michael, you don't have to treat yourself as some worthless trash can who wants everyone to dispose off their horrible agony and distress into you. We all have problems and dismay we need help with. But that doesn't mean you should say such cruel things to yourself. It may not matter to you but you do matter. I pray all the best for you.

Hi Michael, take comfort, you're not alone.  I'm having a rough day today. 

Do you have a job or hobby. Not having a go but a busy mind and body do tend to help not to fall into those dark lows.

 

Michael I just wanted to tell you I know how you feel. I was told at a young age that I needed to get over it by someone who is no longer a counsellor. I felt with it for a few years contemplating everything I could even found myself in such a bad relationship where he used my depression to control me but I told myself that I needed to get help so I called a suicide hotline. I told my dr that I NEED meds and he prescribed many until I finally got the to last one available but it don't take away all the symptoms. I have found that if you open up to someone everyday and just tell them everything and you have to work on it. There is no one day cure. It has to be you and every ounce of strength you can muster up to not give in. Find one thing you like and use it as a vent. Mine is gaming or talking to the people I love. If you are feeling really low then don't be alone. Hang out with a loved one and just do something. I wish there was more I could do but I hope that my advice helps. There is people who care and know what it is like.

Hi Michael,

Are you still there? I care and wanted to make sure you're okay. I was looking through this as I myself want to go to the doctor in order to start a path to recovery for my anxiety/depression. Just wanted to let you know that there are people who care about you that want to see you get better. 

Thanks,

Steph