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depression and anxiety despair

Posted , 5 users are following.

lattifa7777
lattifa7777

I've been on sertraline for 2 weeks now, first week only took half a tablet of 50mg, now for 10 days I've taken the the full 50mg, I hardly sleep, wake up every morning with panic/ anxiety , and very low mood. I cry and feel despair, can anyone relate, and has anyone got a success storey of this debilitating

Illness I dont know I I can cope anymore. Been given diazipam, but Dr said she wont be giving me anymore, I'm crying my eyes out, I'm not the person I used to be 2 months ago, I feel so bad for my kids that they have a mother like this now, will I get better, plz somone give me hope. Thanks

1 like, 28 replies

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  • ursulauc62
    ursulauc62 lattifa7777

    Posted

    Hi Lattifa, do you know what is making you so depressed, or did it just come on you without any particular trigger?   When I had I son I started to suffer depression like I never had before.  I got upset about things, but people who suffer depression know its totally different.So, postnatal depression turned into years of it, sometimes improving and I'd get quite manic and take on projects and jobs that were so difficult that I was bound to fail, and I did, and now I havent worked for years.   I adore my son, but the depression I put down to hormonal changes. Earlier this year I also suffered crippling anxiety for several months, and was so bad that I was hospitalised a couple of times.  Now its better, and I just have low level continuing but manageable depression.  I take fluoxetine, prozac, 40mg a day.  I put the anxiety down to hormonal changes too, brought on by the start of the menopause.

    I think you need to go back to your doctor and emphasise the awful anxiety you feel, because currently it seems you are not being treated for this.

    Lots of luck.

    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 ursulauc62

      Posted

      I dont know what has made me so depressed, when I started to feel down, I went to the Dr, I wasn't majorly depressed, she prescribed me citalopram antidepressant, I took one and it gave me a huge panic attack that I was rushed to hospital. I've always been an anxious person, but only when I'm worried about something in particular, for example my son is 16, I woukd always and still wait up worrying about him , but as soon as he was hime I was fine, but since the panic attack with the citalopram my anxiety was constant everyday waking up a complete mess.

      I went a few weeks like this untill I realised I cant cope anymore I wasn't eating and am still not eating, she put me on sertraline 50mg, but because I

      Was so scared to take it, I only took half the tablet for about a week, now I'm about 10 days on full 50mg, I still wake up full of complete panic and despair, I even went to a&e last week, saying I feel suicidal, but they said I had to wait for antidepressants to kick in, so another 2 weeks. That feels like 20 years when you feel so low. Tye diazipam helps in the morning to calm the panic, but I dont want to be addicted 😢 the sertraline is meant for depression anxiety and PTSD. I dont know what else to do, I'm on a waiting list for CBT, I just miss being me, my worst fear is am I going mad ? Thank u for your reply if you can suggest anything else I will appreciate it. Are you 100% well now?

    • ursulauc62
      ursulauc62 lattifa7777

      Posted

      Hi,

      I am Ok. I'm not 100% well. Certain situations still make me panic, and it sometimes suprises me that they do, and I dont know why. I tend to back off and make excuses if there is a family occassion organised that I am expected to go to, apart from with my immediate family. I usually say I'm ill, but its starting to look pretty odd now!

      No you are not going mad. My anxiety was appalliing and I couldnt stand just being conscious when it was at its worst. I was truly suicidal, and took overdoses a few times. Luckily they didnt work.  

      I think you should talk to your'e doctor about having hormone levels checked - thyroxin, serotonin, osestrogen, prolactin, dopamine.  Theres a lot of tests that can be done, because there alot of hormones that can be out of balance!   I have had quite alot of tests as I have had significant hormone imbalances over the years.

    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 ursulauc62

      Posted

      Yes I will ask the Dr , but she gets annoyed with me, I asked for vitamin level test, and she rolled her eyes, I'm having that done tomorrow, and i will

      Definitely ask for hormone levels too. Did your test come back with any

      Significants?

    • rach89240
      rach89240 ursulauc62

      Posted

      Dear ursulauc62,

      We are a huge number in the same situation and the fact that we share our thought is helping some of us. Please keep sharing and keep positive. Do not despair. I hardly sleep and I am in full time employment. I spend the night turning and walking. My Endocrinologist dismissed as being due to the condition but he said that my fatigue is due to lack of sleep.  It is both. I keep my self-busy, I read, play games and watch TV until I dose off. I also sleep when I get home knowing. I tried not to but it did not work. So I have a snooze when I can.

      Outdoor helps, I cannot exercise at the moment but I walk. Laughing helps the mood; I laugh for anything and make lots of silly jokes. Do not read lots about the condition, it can lead to more despair.  Aunt of mine said by the time she finished reading the book about the condition she had, she was already dead.

      Please change little things to help yourself. Go shopping if you can,

      Go for a swim, walk or even to the cinema for change.

      R.

    • ursulauc62
      ursulauc62 rach89240

      Posted

      Thanks ever so much for your really nice reply.  I do try to get out, and I sometimes walk to the shops on my own and have a coffee, and for me this is an achievement.  I feel embarrassed and ashamed because my son who is 18 and doing his A Levels wonders why I'm not working. I have a degree and postgraduate qualifications and used to be a university lecturer but suffered a breakdown and alcoholism. I dont drink now, but I havent yet really found anything to replace the 'high' that getting drunk with friends gave me. Life seems very flat.

      I have a pituitary tumor which I have regular MRI scans for. Its prolactin producing, and was treated first about 20 years ago. Thats why I managed to have my son. I was infertile for several years before that. My prolactin levels have started to go up again alot in the past year or so, along with the thyroid thing and the menopause hitting me. I was also very aneamic, and was sent for a colonoscopy and endoscopy, so for month or so last year while waiting for the tests, I was convinced I had bowel cancer....... - but I didnt!!!!  

      I take iron tablets when I can - they upset mystomach, and loads of recommended vitamins, so I'm doing the best I can.

      I fully intend to start swimming regularly - I love swimming and we have a lovely pool locally, with a sauna. I also enjoy going to the cinema on my own but havent done for a while.  I'll give it a go again.  I actually dont mind my own company, I read alot. But yes I get horribly lonely at times. My sister - who is actually called Rachel!  - wont speak to me currently because of a silly dispute over my mums affairs - she is in a care home with Alzheimers.  I like visitng my mum. She is actually very happy there - its an amazingly good home, and the staff are lovely. At least I can always get a hug from my mum still......

      Carole.

    • rach89240
      rach89240 ursulauc62

      Posted

      Dear Carole,

      I have a teenager girl and I tried to help. I am working but I try to get involve at home as well.  I also have pituitary tumour diagnosed back in 1995. I have a feeling that all are connected.  I managed to have one child but had 8 pregnancies. At the end, we just gave up. My daughter is so special and is from the 3rd pregnancy from hell.  I spent all the 8 months in hospital only to have septicaemia when giving birth by Césarienne.

      You are retelling my story here. We are twins in our health. and all other things. I have exactly the same things: Severe/Chronic Asthma (from child hood), Anaemia, Hyperprolactinemia, hypertension, high cholesterol and now hyperparathoidism. What next!

      I am a PhD in mathematics and I am working to keep going and keep insane.

      Where do you live? I will be happy to meet you.

      Rach

    • ursulauc62
      ursulauc62 rach89240

      Posted

      Hi Rach, that is so sweet of you.   I actually only had one pregnancy because going through it was so awful and the after affects that I simply couldnt contemplate going through it again!  My son is very precious to me - he used to get really upset/annoyed that he didnt have any siblings and made me feel  I had failed him in a huge way, but luckily now he has friends at college, so has mostly got over it.  I was living and working - with my husband - in Singapore, when I got pregnant, and it was really tough in the crippling heat, and I felt pretty isolated. He was born there, and the medical staff were great.

      I started treatment for my tumor in 1994, and we emigrated in 1995.

      I actually live in the north of England now, - Merseyside - although I have lived all over the place!   You could private message me.  Believe it or not, I'm not sure how that works - and I used to lecture in computing for Gods sake!  That shows you how out of touch I am.......

      Carole.

    • ursulauc62
      ursulauc62 rach89240

      Posted

      Hi,

      I did private message you. I am so sorry you had such a traumatic time.My pregnancy wasnt easy but it sounds nothing in comparison to what you went through. I was just wondering if you are still being treated for the prolactinoma. Because of my prolactin levels, maybe I should be to. I am being sent for an insulin stress test. I had one alot of years ago. I'm quite worried about it. I know it can be rather unpleasant. Did you have to go for one?

  • wayne76842
    wayne76842 lattifa7777

    Posted

    hi lattifa

    ​in a nutshell yes you will get better, its a tough haul but it take at least 2 weeks to get a few of the side effects to subside then from week 2 each week you should start to feel a little better each week, your describing what most suffer with ,diazipam is very addictive henec why they wont give you any more, there are others which i can tell you and they are far better and have no addictive qualities, ask your doc and tell him how your feeling and if you can't cope like this then ask him for a adrenalin blocker and to see if it suitable for you, im sorry to say that you will suffer with these symptoms for a while, it gets worse before better, but you will get better  and yes it is well worth the effort,50mg is a low dose which is called the tester dose, max they go for is 200mg , most settle with 100mg afer 4 weeks or so.you need to try and calm yourself down, panic attack wont hurt you but if you dont learn to control them they will fuse your adrenalin levels and start to give you symptoms especialy nausea , dizziness and many others.some use an herbal called rescue remedy which is in most health stores,herbal stores, propranolol is a good adrenalin blocker , it is used for many things and one is anxiety,safe for adults and children ,

    some use it for things like when going on driving test, exam lesons and it is a very well know drug with a good background.there are others too, but always check with your doctor, learn how to deep breathe into your stomach and not just your chest, that will help with any nausea and raise your blood oxygen levels which in turn will help you along this dam aweful path, and control any panic attack,

    there are other ways which help like books and music,but i gues if you are what i was like i couldn't find the energy or intrest to do anything.

    if in any doubt ask on here, there are always people with the experinace to help you along the way, your not on your own and you will make it .

     

    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 wayne76842

      Posted

      Wow that's a fantastic reply, it has really comforted me, I have told my Dr exactly how I feel, she's knows ibwent to a&e because I was suicidle, but said you have to wait for meds to kick in there isn't anything else that we can do, same was said in hospital by mental healthe team. Your words have given me great encourgment thank you.

      Just at the back of my mind I'm scared I will be one those that doesn't recover, or meds wont work on me 😓, I guess that's the depression talking!? I do read, but only about my ilness, music just makes me cry, very odd I know, so would you say perhaps by Xmas I could be my self again? I was hoping by my birthday end of this month tht ide be ok, I guess not really., but thanks

    • wayne76842
      wayne76842 lattifa7777

      Posted

      hello

      ​docs and menatl health team can do more, but what there trying to say is , you just need time, the crying , the thoughts they will subside, and there is always a medicine that will help along side sertraline which i have already mentioned, if your not eating well then ask the doc for the ensure plus drinks, in milk or juice flavors, if your not sleeping then the doc will give you something to help you sleep,however they dont like giving them because they can add to a deep sleep which sertraline can also do so you could become too sleepy, sleeplessnes  works with your anxiety so you do need to get rest, dont ever touch grapefruit it can easily make sertraline act in a totaly different way, same goes for st johns wart leave it alone,possible in another 2-3 weeks you should be in a better postion and then things should improve each week, going to the A&E with anxiety depression could in fact make you feel worse, however the diagnosis that its anxiety from the proffesionals seems to settle the patient down, but you can get all that on here, even pains in elbows fingers chest,back,legs can all be asociated with anxiety, i had a painfull elbow for 4 weeks and then it just went , i only had 1 panic attack and after that i research how to control and thats what i did, dont have them now. you will find that the evenings will get better first and then it all starts working together, take care  

    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 wayne76842

      Posted

      Thank you Wayne, evenings are a lot better I must say. But your words really truly help me, ill keep posting on

      Here how I'm doing, hope you keep in touch, 😊

    • philip46747
      philip46747 lattifa7777

      Posted

      They do a rescue remedy night time which helps you sleep, it calms your mind stops it racing so you can sleep.
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