depression and menopause
Posted , 11 users are following.
Hi Ladies
Its been a year now and ive been depressed i mean seriously depressed. Prior to meno i did not experience such low mood as i do now. All of the symptoms that most of you describe ive had to a degree, i just feel like im in another world.
Ive tried different antidepressants and they are not tolerable, i dont last but a few days.
Im pretty scared because i dont know how long i can keep up the show..facing the day everyday. I have two awesome boys that are mid teens and i raise them alone. The responsibiity of them relying on me, is too much. I have moments that are ok, but for the most part i have to fake my way through life and its exhausting.
ive tried bio identicals, yoga, everything, and my brain is not the same.
Its dreadful. My labs even on the saliva tests that i did show that the hormones are fairly balanced which causes me even more concern. How could i have lost all happiness and my mind at 53? Prior to this i did not know about anxiety or depression. I would get moody and down every month but it was short lived.
Never have i felt so scared and misunderstood in my life. By far the worst thing that has every happened to me. I want to feel normal so badly, i want to live life, but its not there its not in me. I feel almost ashamed and do not know how to explain to my kids what has happened because I myself do not know what has happened..
I wake up with a sense of DOOM and fear, i feel adrenaline rushes and am absolutely exhausted the same time. I keep going because i dont know what else to do.
my blood work is normal. adrenals, thyroid etc. im really having a hard time.
I have no appetite, im nauseous nervous, scared, im transformed into someone i dont know anymore. Anyone understand?
x0x0
0 likes, 37 replies
betty90997 mauiblue
Posted
It's strange how I can't handle any form of bad news even watching the news depresses me can't bare watching movies and hearing any kind of suffering be it strangers
mauiblue betty90997
Posted
I know what you mean, its like anything over the top or too much, is upsetting. Our brains-endocrine system is changing and that is what is causing it. Im only hopeful that it will pass in time, because you can only take so much.
xoxo
AJacynM mauiblue
Posted
I understand!
It's soooo awful. Previous to going through an early menopause I was full of life, happy and every day I had get up and go...
Fast forward to now - I am just the total opposite. I find it hard work to think, walk, just to get through the day is exhausting.
I'm just starting a second lot of HRT and the side effects are awful and I feel dreadful!
I'm just not sure what to do or think anymore and I just want my life back!!!!
So - as I said, I understand. I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad too.
We just gotta' do our best I guess.
AJ. x
mauiblue AJacynM
Posted
Hi AJ
I am really uncertain about the HRT, and the bio hrt. I work at a clinic and the providers there believe in bio identical hormes. Ive been troubleshooting them off n on for about 6 months and honestly have not seen any improvement. The lady pharmacist whom i saw, and still see has a Phd in pharmacology and Ayurvedic medicine. She consults with a lot of women on bio identicals.
As Bev said, and im thinkng this might be true, to play with hormones is playin with fire. Some women claim to have amazing rellief. I dont think however that its helping me personally with the moods as low as they are.
Prior to menopause i didnt suffer depression or even anxiety. I for that matter always wondered what this 'anxiety' bit was about, but now its an entirely different situation for me. I GET IT, I LIVE it.
How old are you AJ and perhaps the hrt is making it worse. Im tempted to go off this because i see no results.
I hope you hang in there, thanks so much for responding to my post. Im around here now for support myself and i hope it helps to know that you and many of us are suffering. It cant go on forever.
xoxo
AJacynM mauiblue
Posted
Hi there,
Thanks for your message, it does help (although not nice that it's happening to many) to know I'm not alone.
I'm now 46 but have been suffering for around 5 years before finally (5 months ago) starting HRT. My mother used it and felt AMAZING... I do not. I tried Evorel Sequi and had nuclear level PMT and breast pain so now have just started Femseven Sequi... my mood is dreadful and I just am not myself and I just want the old 'me' back. Prior to peri and then menopause I never, ever suffered PMT or low mood and was always a happy 'on the go' busy person - everyone notices the difference in me and I hate but can't seem to do anything about it.
I will try the new patches for a while longer but I don't hold out much hope... sorry I'm quite negative!! I'm using them mainly for bone protection and to stop the symptoms of menopause.
I really hope we all get through this soon-ish and can reclaim some of our former characters back.
AJ. xx
mauiblue AJacynM
Posted
HRT isnt for everyone thats for sure. The only way for me to know if i am doing ok on this bio identicals is to go off it and i im worse, (which i dont know how that could be) then the hormones are helping, if im better, then perhaps im going to Discontinue.
Its a lonely feeling sometimes when people all seem so lively and happy and women of our age mind you...what in the heck happened to me and why did i get ravaged by this so badly..?
I think also
that its even harder in my opinion when one has never really experienced true depression or anxiety untiil they are past 50 like myself. I felt as if i was body snatched..horrifying.
Eitiher way we just keep on keeping on. No you arent negative you are just saying how you feel, and i understand that.
xx0x0x
catherine1966 mauiblue
Posted
Hi mauiblue -
I take a low dose of Lithium Carbonate 450 mg, but now that I am on HRT, I am going to quit it. The stuff makes me too nervous in terms of side effects and I am going to see how I do without it and am using things like Tumeric and St. John's as well. If I get really depressed again, I will revisit the idea of Lithium, but after reading some other things on this site about it, I am gladly going to drop it for a while and see how things go.
I am glad I have the sauna and HRT. My anxiety is still pretty bad at times. Some of this is psychological, but like someone else said, our brains are being rewired at this time.
A good book to read that I enjoyed and that describes what is going on on a number of levels is by Dr. Christine Northrop - The Wisdom of Menopause. I felt a lot better in terms of perspective and should re-read some of that again. I think we really need to remember some sort of perspective and be very gentle on ourselves.
And like someone else said, examine your environment etc. I have been doing a lot of that - getting clear of energy vampires, people who talk down to me for whatever reason, and clearing out my living space and getting rid of things I don't need. Just a total unclutter on all levels - even diet.
mauiblue catherine1966
Posted
Yes i believe in purging the environment, staying away from unhealthy people, and i will look into this book from Dr northrop, yes ive heard of it but never read it.
Im on the fence about HRT and bio identicals as it hasnt done much for me. Or maybe it has who knows!
May i ask what the Lithium is for and is it a prescription that your taking?
Its nice to have a safe haven to talk and open up without judgement.
xoxo
catherine1966 mauiblue
Posted
Hey - I also just purchased a rebounder (mini trampoline) today on Amazon. I got a more than adequate one for around $245. I have hopes that might help me with mood as well, not to mention all the other things that are age related - cellulite, varicose veins, etc.. Been doing a lot of reading on it tonight and people say it helps their mood too and gives them some energy.
mauiblue catherine1966
Posted
I had not heard of the rebounder helping with mood. Anything to help right? I dont know if i have the energy to jump! I could try it though. Im seeing an ad called the Fishcer Wallace Stimulator invented by Norma Shealy. Im curious if this works. Its something that costs a bit of money
Were you oficially dx with bipolar 2 long ago? Im hoping it helps you, God knows that menopause isnt helping with anything.
mauiblue
Posted
Not sure why the message was sent early, i wasnt finished typing!
I was saying, that this fisher wallace machine sounds intriguing as it works on sleep and depression. Not sure if it would apply to hormonal imbalance. Maybe someone out there has heard of it.I may post a comment asking if anyones tried it.
Hoping you are doing ok, thanks for the response.
xoxox
caseynjason mauiblue
Posted
Oh I so understand about not knowing yourself and feeling misunderstood. I've had early menopause so my kids are all at home and have had THIS mom the last few years. The crazy mom. The mom who cries a lot and is tired because she isn't sleeping. Her energy is gone. Her zest for life is gone.
AJacynM caseynjason
Posted
Me too. I so relate to your situation. One day at a time... 😔
mauiblue caseynjason
Posted
I never sleep past 5:30 am because my adrenals are revved up and cant help it, is like theres no sleeping past this hour..so i am verrrry careful about doing everything humanely possible to get 6- 7 hrs, its a day to day thing, im sorry and i hope we get through it.
xoxx
caseynjason mauiblue
Posted
Until I get the correct dosage from my gp, I have been using otc Estrogen along with my progesterone. Since my estrogen levels are so low (17 total), I just slather the stuff on. I feel soo amazing. The last 3 days bloating gone, heavy head feeling gone, mood amazing, and I sleep like a baby!!! My crazy nerve endings are calm, hot flashes gone, heart racing gone. And seriously, I fall asleep heavy like I haven't done in years. I sleep all night and don't want to get up because I'm enjoying it so much.