depression and menopause

Hi Ladies

Its been a year now and ive been depressed i mean seriously depressed. Prior to meno i did not experience such low mood as i do now. All of the symptoms that most of you describe ive had to a degree, i just feel like im in another world.

Ive tried different antidepressants and they are not tolerable, i dont last but a few days.

Im pretty scared because i dont know how long i can keep up the show..facing the day everyday. I have two awesome boys that are mid teens and i raise them alone. The responsibiity of them relying on me, is too much. I have moments that are ok, but for the most part i have to fake my way through life and its exhausting. 

ive tried bio identicals, yoga, everything, and my brain is not the same.

Its dreadful. My labs even on the saliva tests that i did show that the hormones are fairly balanced which causes me even more concern. How could i have lost all happiness and my mind at 53? Prior to this i did not know about anxiety or depression. I would get moody and down every month but it was short lived.

Never have i felt so scared and misunderstood in my life. By far the worst thing that has every happened to me. I want to feel normal so badly, i want to live life, but its not there its not in me. I feel almost ashamed and do not know how to explain to my kids what has happened because I myself do not know what has happened..

I wake up with a sense of DOOM and fear, i feel adrenaline rushes and am absolutely exhausted the same time. I keep going because i dont know what else to do.

my blood work is normal. adrenals, thyroid etc. im really having a hard time.

I have no appetite, im nauseous nervous, scared, im transformed into someone i dont know anymore. Anyone understand?

x0x0

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