Depression and Menopause/Peri
Posted , 16 users are following.
So it appears that I have fallen into a rabbit hole of which I am struggling to climb out of.
Im almost 53 yrs old, with somewhat regular periods up until 6 months ago, and poof gone.
Now I find myself so dark, no joy, no meaning to anything really other than to focus on getting through each day, praying that I sleep, and trying to talk mysef into hope for recovery.
My docs after seeing my hormones completely bottom out from estrogen dominance to Zero estrogen, progesterone and T.
I briefly tried a few antidepressants which made me feel sooo horribly creepy, I had to stop. I am on a very low dose of bio identical hormones which arent doing anythin.
My question is...which way to turn? I feel like it has to be menopause but i dont hear other women with such mental challenges (depression, anxiety) like i am experiencing. I have never had even much anxiety or dperession to speak of with the exception of a few low moods, but now Boom..ive landed somewhere horrible and scary.
Im hearing that bioidenticals arent any better than standard hrt. Im really struggling. How do people hold down jobs in this state? Im barely able to cope with decision making and work and my two boys, its just basically survival at this stage. I dread each night wondering if i will be able to get enough sleep to get through the next day, and i dread dealing with people socially, when before i could handle anything, people, stress, anything! Now i am disenchanted with life and i have to fake it for my kids sake. This is criminal that women should suffer with this. I just feel like my depression is over the top.
Any support would be so appreciated. Blessings to all you women out there who deal with these things...
elizabeth
4 likes, 54 replies
JD2307 mauiblue
Posted
Kauaiblue,
I feel your pain and know exactly what you are going through. I don't know how long you've been feeling like this, but i've been going through severe insomnia for the past 3 1/2 years. Which in turn caused anxiety and eventually depression. I just turned 54 and my periods, which were already irregular for the past 3 1/2 years, have stopped the past 5 months. So i wonder, is this it? Am i in menopause now? But my insomnia continues. I have been on ADs but they caused more depression to the point i was weeping non stop. I did try Bio identical hormones 2 years ago, but for me they didn't help. I am also estrogen dominant and right now i think my estrogen is also dropping rapidly. For the first time i am getting mild hot flushes. Everyday i pray for the elusive sleep. I have started doing CBT - Cognitive Behavior Therapy with a psychotherapist. Hope it helps. Try the bio identicals under the guidance of a good doctor. It might help you. Sleep deprivation over a long time will cause depression. I don't know how i am going to work and functioning everyday. Purley through prayer. I hope you feel better soon. Wish they will hurry up and find a cure for all these miseries in menopause.
mauiblue JD2307
Posted
I am so bad about even getting onto this website. Now I know how to do it!
Yes, not sleeping is a curse and it ruins your health and mental state above all.
Im beginning bioidenticals and hoping it helps.
The labs last year showed that my estrogen was super high, and now its dropped to basically nothing, so a huge shift that probably dropped me into this.
I have periods of good mood though, and so its really on and off but mostly off.
I think that AD can serve a purpose for many women, to get through a rough time, but so far for me they didnt work, but not to say I wont try anything if im desperate.
Did you continue on your antidepressants or did you discontinue?
I hope you are well. Yeah, this time of life is really a joke..its cruel and unusual. !
Blessings
Kauaiblue
gailannie mauiblue
Posted
I'm so sorry you're struggling. You said
low dose, so maybe things aren't up to where you need to be yet. Do you mind telling us what you are currently taking? All delivery methods react a little different for different women.
These hormones effect every single aspect of our bodies. And that also includes our brains. So please don't feel alone
with this depression issue. Many women experience this. So don't give up. I also tried an antidepressant and felt awful. Yet that always seems to be a physicians go to. Doesn't mean it's right for you.
Please come back and at least allow this forum to help provide support and any
ideas we can. It helps to know you aren't alone.
mauiblue gailannie
Posted
Hello Gailannie
Thank you for your response. It 0.5 mg daily of estrogen, 0.25 mg T, and im taking 200 mg of progesterone which has helped with sleep thank God.
Ive asked the practitioner to up the dose on estradiol because its a verrrry low dose im guessing.
So i will see how it goes.
Are you taking anything now and how old are you? There is such a wide range of age here, and thats great to know. I have had regular cycles my WHOLE LIFE up until 5 months ago it disappeared.
I read that many women endure this for YEARS, so its almost like a "sentence".
Thank you again, Im hanging in, and will be involved here, its been very helpful.
Kauaiblue
gailannie mauiblue
Posted
Well I'm 60 now, so age may have something to do with it.
How old are you?
I'm on a very very small dose in patch form, but it sure doesn't feel right. Oddly I do like vaginal progesterone and have always had an easier time with it than estrogen.
katie96233 mauiblue
Posted
Hi...
So sorry your having a tough time..
it's s**t...😩 What's even more s**t is the lack of support and help there is for women..
I'm having similar problems at the moment.. the dark moods, not
Feeling much enjoyment and generally like a bit of a zombie most days..I have noticed that it happens for about a week after my period then will subside until it all starts over again...
Talking to other women and knowing I'm not alone or going mad has helped..I don't really want to start taking medication if possible so trying a bit of therapy first and see where that goes..
There really should be much more awareness of all the things menopause can bring.. I would love to start up a support group... wow that would be interesting...!!
You are not alone so keep talking about what's going on and although it doesn't feel it at the moment.. it will pass and we will come out the other side..xx
mauiblue katie96233
Posted
Yes its ridiculous that there is not more awareness...its so huge for us women that do and do and do for everybody...
and this is what we get...
xx
karen77710 mauiblue
Posted
Hi darl, I'm 50 and been in menapause for a few years. I get really bad anxiety and depression with it along with all other symptoms. I'm on hrt conti patches and they have been fantastic with no side effects. I'm 80 per cent better been on these. Hope this helps x
mauiblue karen77710
Posted
Thank you for your post.
Im not opposed to anything that helps, and this is a good route i here as well, the patch.
right now im doing a bio identical regime and will see how it works.
Im glad you are better, but yeah the depression is worse than any physical ailment i can think of.
if you have no joy, what else matters?
At least when you have physical symptoms you still FEEL. But when you dont feel anymore, its never a place you want to be in for long.
Thanks again
lelawreck mauiblue
Posted
Dear Kauaiblue/Elizabeth - I am one of those woman that can relate to the mental health issues that you are going through. Thus the reason why I too joined this forum, to find women in simular symptoms to have a better understanding of what I am experiencing. A better unerstanding gives you an ease of mind in some way and definetly when you can relate to someone else suffering simular symptoms. My anxiety creaped up overnight. I was sick with infuenza and booked of for a week and 'a half. In the second week I just woke up the one morning not being able to cope. I was sooo tired and started having panick attacks and the anxiety was unbareable. At the age of 43 - i went to mom and dad house, (they have agranny flat on my premises) and got into bed with them, crying histerically as I could not get it under control. This lastes for 4days. I went back to work and was ok for a week and then it came back again. Like having about 3 attacks a day. So went of to Gp whom put me on xanor 0.5mg. This helped a little, I drank it in the mornings and was okaysih during the day. But once morning comes and I have to be ready with breakfast, packing lunch and coping with all the stress at work and running finances, it started again. So went to the GP again. So he put me on yet a stronger xanor. Then I got heart palputations, skippings beats, fluddering and sometimes a pounding beat that made me feel like fainting. So again i went to the GP having a stress ECG. Nothing was wrong - just anxiety causing the heart irregularities according to him. He then said that he thinks I suffer mild depression. Obviously because the anxiety caused me to feel down as I felt i wasn't coping. So he prescribed antidepressants too. I took them for abt 7days and they actually made me feel worse. The anxiety were even more exstreme and i had suicidle thoughts. So, even though everybody said that I have to use it for a min of 2weeks, for the benefits to kick in, I stopped using it. Why should I use sonething that makes me even feel worse.
I am with a clinical psychologist now, to help me to cope with the anxiety. I am stressed too that I am going to loose my job, as I am constantly tired. I cannot concentrate, I have to focus as I am the only breadwinner in the household, and having my child in grade 12 now, last year of school, I have to be strong for her too.
Just feels like I am loosing the plot here and do not know how to cope. Each and every day I suffer anxiety. I am taking minerals and supplements now, and vit d, just dont know when all this will get better.
Feeling very low.
katie96233 lelawreck
Posted
Gosh it's so hard..
You are not alone.. I wake up in the morning feeling tired and struggle to get going..my life in general is good but don't seem to be able to feel any of the good at times...
I've had depression on and off for years and have been on medication all the time.. but now the moods are worse days after my period.. back pain.. anxiety.. tired and generally pretty s**t..😩😩
Breathing techniques, yoga, meditation talking to others all helps and trying to be kind to ourself.. as I beat myself up about being useless daily..
Get as much information you can about what's going on and reach out to others.. you are not alone and it's just another wonderful thing about being a women..!!
Sending you lots of hugs and hope today is a good one...xxx
juanita93228 lelawreck
Posted
That's what a happend to me. A doctor put me on Zoloft. It was horrible! I was on it for three days and was shaking so bad like I had the flu and having crazy thoughts. I acually missed a day of work. I was also told uyou have to keep taking it, you will feel worse before you feel better. Nope! Got off it. These newer antidepressants aren't for me. I take Trazodone. It's not perfect but I feel more like me.
mauiblue lelawreck
Posted
Im sorry I did not get back to you sooner.
I just received the email sayin that i had posts. Im not too good at maneuverin this website but getting better.
You have to do what your instincts tell you, and if the antidepressants werent working, then you were right about discontinuing them. I did the same thing.They prescribed one for me that i could only tolerte 3 days, turned into an insomniac..terrifying.
Then i tried another for 12 days and gave it my best shot. The feelings i had were soooo creepy crawly and ominious, i said ForGET this..and also discontinued.
Some people do well however, and im not opposed at all, i just dont believe there were helping my brain.
We are all our own case study #1 We have to go by what works for us.
Im also a single mom, removed from support system.
Therapy is realllly important.
I will be here to support if you need anytime, i GET it.
These things i know to be good for me and my brain chemistry :
Vit. D, magnesium, good B complex that does NOT have folic acid but methylated folate,
hydroxytryptophan, all natural things. I started bioidenticals last week, and im hoping i can get some hormones back into my system. Without estrogen we cant even make serotonin so make sure you have your labs done.
I never had anxiety until just recently with this bomb dropping on me. I could handle anything literally, divorce, ill health, kids troubles, poverty, you name it. People would ask me how i handled..
Well, now i can say that i cant like I used to. I dont have a support system to speak of other than the counselor i see who is an amazing man.
I fear for not being able to take care of my boys, i fear so many things. But then I remember that its the mind, that tries to run you, and those thoughts are just thoughts, they are not the real you.
Take it day by day and write to me whenever you want. I will help if you need anytime.
not sure if we an share emails but if so, i will give you my email.
Hugs
lelawreck mauiblue
Posted
Hi kauaiblue, my email -I would not mind at all if we keep in contact this way. It is so hard cause in some way I have my support system, but I need to be strong for them, and some days I "just fake it until i make it" , forcing an, - I am okay smile on my face - whilst crying inside and fighting the anxiety. I am really hoping with all the natural remedies that I am taking now and the CB Terapy will help. No caffiene, no sugar, no wine no choclate - all the things I love, I have given up just to try to feel normal, hahaha, ya i am still trying to keep a smile on my face and tell myself this will pass.
Moderator comment: I have removed the email address as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service.
http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398331-private-messages
mauiblue lelawreck
Posted
I believe that we need to go through private message service to exchange an email.
I will try and do that.
I must have missed your response here, it just showed up.
Today super dark again, i cant understand how its so up and down. I really cant.
will make an attempt to send you my email
will like to chat more
thanks
mauiblue katie96233
Posted
Hi Katie
Just wanted to get back to you on your post.
This Patient website has helped all of us, and its so awesome we have it.
Do not beat yourself up about anything. You do not have control of this, just accept it and know that it will pass. it really will. Have you ever gone off the AD and tried going natural or is the depression pretty severe, or debilitating?
I am
continuing to read and learn more each day. I try not to be the "pateint" because i do not choose to identify myself as That. Its hard though when its in your face in all forms on a daily, hourly basis.
ive got so many issues to post (back pain now etc) but im going to hold off. Ive never had lower back pain and now its something im dealing with. waking up with a low aching in my back. Jee it doesnt end.
hugs
xx
kauaiblue