Desperately trying to help my friend

Posted , 11 users are following.

Hi, I’m desperately trying to help my best friend get help with alcohol.

I have been sober for 7 years so I do have a bit of experience but she is much worse than I was.

She is drinking 6 litres of cider and 2 bottles of wine a day.

She has all the signs of liver damage, does not eat, lost use of bodily functions. She will not get help, refuses to leave the house. She’s been to a few councilling sessions(drunk)

Doesn’t sleep, constantly topping up alcohol levels.

Her husband and I really don’t know what to do. Can’t physically force her out of house. Don’t have money for private rehab. 

My fear is she is just gonna die, feel helpless.. Nothing is scarring her anymore. Must be something! Please help. I’m in the UK. Xxx

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  • Posted

    Down the road a bit, something like The Sinclair Method might help in case of a relapse, but my guess from across the pond is that NHS is going to want her to detox, then they will offer Campral or Naltrexone (depending on the condition of her liver). You might need to go with her to her appointments and fight for her some, but I don't know if that's allowed. 

    Go to c3foundationeurope and click on Services, then Local NHS Guidelines to see information on who normally prescribes alcoholism medications for your specific area. She'll likely need to set up an appointment with her GP and get a referral, although depending on the area she may be able to self-refer (not certain about this). 

    Did they just send her to counseling last time, no detox or treatment?

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  • Posted

    Hi there I'm so sorry your friend is going through this it's so sad watching a loved one in turmoil firstly I would like to say what a good friend you are to be seeking help for her 

    The amount she is drinking is dangerously high therefore she would definatly need some help from medical expert as detox from that amount can be extremely dangerous so first and foremost you need to get her to a doctor 

    Most people can not afford rehab a detox centres therefore a doctor must help I really suggest you look into The Sinclair Method and naltrexone / nalmefene in uk this does not require detox you actual take a the pill one hour before drinking and eventually your consummation of alcohol is deterred and lowered this is a very quick summary of the Sinclair Methid but please research and read dr Eskapas book The cure for alcoholism but in the meantime I think your friend desperately needs medical help and counselling 

    I wish you the best and hope this helps 

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  • Posted

    Hi Lisa. I am sober for nearly 5 years and never took any medication. 2 brilliant replies from people with experience. Best of luck

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    • Posted

      Hi Robin2015 I think it's wonderfull you have managed to stay sober for so long without medication  

      Unfortunately some of us a wired differently hence needing help with medicine 

      So happy for you 💖

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  • Posted

    Hiya,

    You are such a good person to stand by your friend! From my own experience not many people out there truly care and are there no matter what.

    I know this is so unlikely but could you try coerce your friend in going to an aa meeting. Even if you could persuade her to go while she is drunk. Cos being in a room of people that all have the same stories and battles with drink, all at different stages of recovery I really think can help. To know there are loads of us out there all of whom know exactly what your friend is going through. And want to help others going through this hell of alcoholism. 

    Wish you all the luck in the world. Big hugs xxx

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    • Posted

      Hi, she’s been doing group councilling, where she has been going drunk but she refuses now to go anywhere.

      Seen drs, had appointment with nurse for detox programme, didn’t go.

      Can’t get her out of house.

      Frustrating times. Thanks guys but some people you can’t help. Focusing my attention also on her 11 year old daughter. Who has just started secondary school. Regards xx

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    • Posted

      Gosh it's so hard for you all she must be in a really bad way and I know it's easy to be angry and disappointed in her but she has a horrible disease just like any other disease she needs help can you get a doctor to home visit? 

      Well wishes to you 💖

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    • Posted

      Believe it or not there is help out there I didn't like counselling or AA it does work for lots of alcoholics but didn't work for me but initially she needs medical intervention it might sound henious but even call an ambulance then she can get medical help and detox saftley I swear by The Sinclair method where you can drink but firstly she need a little help from doctors ( not being sectioned) but to help with initial detox and check physical state 💖

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    • Posted

      “firstly she needs a little help from doctors”  she’s been offered support, counselling and a detox, but she wouldn’t go. All the help and support in the world won’t help her until she accepts that she needs help and admits it.

      I wouldn’t recommend calling an ambulance. Apart from the waste of money and time, chances are she’d spend hours in A&E and then sent home with details of ARCs.

      Yes I probably sound hard and unfeeling, but being offered a detox and refusing to go shows she’s in denial and most probably scared stiff.

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    • Posted

      Oh this is a hard one 😥 Most alcoholics are in denial and frightened so frightened of everything but this girl seriously needs some medical help so she doesn't end up with seizures I don't think that calling an ambulance is a waste of anyone's money she is sick and not able to function is there anyone out here in this lady's community that knows of a empathetic doctor? Or someone that understands the Sinclair method as its unlikely that she is able to go cold turkey with the amount of alcohol she is consuming poor girl must be in a terrible way 😥💖

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    • Posted

      No one is suggesting going cold turkey, far too dangerous. It’s a sad situation, but until she accepts she needs help, there is little anyone can do.

      To the best of my knowledge, in the uk you can’t be sectioned for alcoholism. In any case forcing someone with AUD into hospital against their will won’t help.

      How is she getting her alcohol if she won’t leave her house? I presume she’s getting it online herself. If not then someone must be enabling her to drink, which in the long run isn’t helping. I’m not suggesting her alcohol supply is stopped suddenly, too dangerous.

      What good is an empathetic doctor if she won’t see one?

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  • Posted

    Some tough choices for certain. I have not seen anybody drink that much regularly which is shocking and sad as a friend to you. Some good replies but what to do? Doctor to visit as suggested by bangleina. Also good reply from adefree as usual.
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  • Posted

    Hi Lisa! I'm sorry about what's happening to your friend. It really sucks big time. My uncle was like that as well, he was even admitted to the hospital because of the cirrhosis of the liver which forced him to stay sober for several weeks. Once he got out of the hospital, he went back to drinking after a few weeks. One thing that helped him to get clean again was when his youngest daughter talked him out of it. He was scared as hell, that's a fact. But because of his daughter, he was able to get past it. Maybe your friend needs to find consciousness from her kids if she has one or two. That's usually the wake-up call in some alcoholics.

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