Desperation
Posted , 12 users are following.
I don't even know what to say..... It is 8 weeks since my hip revision. 2 weeks now that I've been full weight bearing and walking. Dr still has the hip precautions I seem him Oct 18. I can't get myself out of this depression. Crying every day. Thoughts of hopelessness and feel like I can't go on. I try to be positive, comment on all who post with well wishes and prayers. There have been some with some very sad stories and hardships. I keep trying to tell myself it's gonna be ok....but I can't get myself to believe that. I lay in bed and don't want to move. I'm not in pain when I walk. It's just that it feels so tight when I take a step. My knee barely bends at 60 degrees with a little force. It feels weird when I walk. And it discourages me so much. I can say there has been improvement in the feeling but it's still there and I fall back into depression and discouragement. My daughter is getting ready to go into basic training and I'm already missing her. I'm worried about my granddaughter, her daughter, cause I'm not sure how she will take it. She's 13. Plus I'm useless right now. I can't take her to school as I can't drive yet. Then today I find out my grandmother is in hospital and very weak. She's 109! Sad part for me is I won't be able to see her or go to her funeral if she does pass away. She lives 6 hours away. I'm still having problems sitting as I have that dang lump in my thigh/bum area! I'm still having to ice. And I use heat. Last Friday I went to my daughter's house for the evening. It was nice to finally get out but I had to take that darn potty chair and took my wheelchair so I had a place to sit as to not break the 90 degree. I'm so scared of that! I'm scared to bear full weight too! I try but I get scared! Thanks for letting me vent. I just want to feel better again. My family needs me.
3 likes, 38 replies
jeffharo linda81469
Posted
Been through a few (failed) hip scopes and found the narcotics made me very emotional. I traded away the pain for being free of the narcotics, and was glad to do it. I went thru the same thing you did, i'm uyre many of us have, what works for me may not work for you, but that's what I did. Narcotics played hell on my emotions, oxy was the worst. I'd literally rather be in pain than sad all the time. I'm sure it will get better for you, please keep us posted.
linda81469 jeffharo
Posted
Hi Jeff. I started weaning myself off pain meds 2nd week. I've been off pain meds for about 4 weeks now. I was taking tramadol. I think it's just me. Having hip dislocated threw me back. 2 major surgeries within 3 weeks. Non weight bearing for 6. Home bound for 6 weeks now. I'm trying to stay positive especially in front of my family. Thank you for your comment. Hope you are doing well. LD
glenn12834 linda81469
Posted
linda81469 glenn12834
Posted
Thank you Glenn. I'm trying but it's so darn hard!! LD
auntiebeanie linda81469
Posted
Oh Linda sorry you feel this way. I Remember being petrified for 12 weeks about dislocation. Feeling that lump will go in time. I said to my surgeon I'm being silly but I can feel a lump. Your body will soon get used to it. Your muscles sound as I feel they are extremely tight. Have you seen physio or been given any exercises to stretch them? Sending lots of hugs your way xx
linda81469 auntiebeanie
Posted
Thank you Auntiebeanie. Since I dislocated my first one I'm scared its gonna happen again!! Plus all this tightness is annoying! But I knew this was going to happen as I was 1 & 1/2 inches short before surgery and he gave me back almost all the length. I think my expectations were too high. And yes am working with a physical therapist in my home. And we are working on the knee!! 😖😖😖. LD
wlee linda81469
Posted
Hey Linda,
I still have a lump feeling in my groin when I lift my knee up past 70 degrees and am at 10 weeks. Also have tendinitis in my groin area which still needs babying. I finally put a 1/4" lift in my shoe to equalize my leg length because it was making me weary (and slightly depressed). But compared to where I was, things really do keep getting better every day. Some days are definitely harder than others.... like being amazed that I'm stiff one day and not the next. The pain killers are probably messing with ur emotions too.
In regard to you grandmother, that sounds really emotionally difficult to bear. Is she cognocent? If she is maybe someone in your family could help you do FaceTime with her in the hospital....it's not the best solution but at least you would get to see her and tell her that you love her. So sorry for the awful timing.
linda81469 wlee
Posted
Hey Wlee... Sorry to hear about your problems. I've had some groin tenderness. I am only taking Tylenol as needed. Not really in pain. Just everything is tight and feels weird! As for FaceTime that is a good idea. I'll ask to see if anyone has that. Hope you feel better soon. LD
amanda1827h linda81469
Posted
Hi Linda,its a wonderful group here,& it's OK to vent. Please remember that you have had a big operation! For many people it can take a good year or more to get back to normal.I am investing in Cherry juice,its good for joints,also I am going to try a magnet bracelet,too see if it helps.I have awful sleeping problems as well.Ihave a warm milky drink with honey 'have rescue remedy,at nigh.I also listen to a relaxation Cd.Hope this help I also have Reflexology & i have crystal s that helps.Regards Amanda h
hope4cure linda81469
Posted
Eat at well exercise a and this will passes soon.
Best wishes.
linda81469 hope4cure
Posted
Thank you Hope. I just feel like this is escalating. Sometimes I don't want to eat. I am doing the exercises. It's more when I'm alone. And I'm alone most of the day. but I am going to talk to my dr about this. Thank you. LD
AnnieK linda81469
Posted
Vent away, Linda! Your situation sounds very difficult, and it is understandable that you are so down in the dumps. Post-op depression (even without other negative circumstances like you have) is quite common. I read that you will talk with your doctor about this, and that is good. Keep talking with doctors until someone has some effective treatments and help for you. You have a number of legitmate concerns and physical problems. I hope you will reach out for help with all of them. Some things you can't fix, such as not being available for your very elderly grandmother, or to be able to help with your granddaughter. We can only do what we are able to do, and that's hard to accept sometimes.
Best wishes to you finding some help and some peace. I feel so fortunate that as I have had strong family support over the last 14 months since my failed hip replacement, and will continue to get that help with my new surgery in 3 weeks. I also don't have any loved ones in need of my hands-on support. I can't imagine what you are going through. Take good care of yourself, my dear!
linda81469 AnnieK
Posted
Thank you Annie. You mentioned you had a failed hip replacement? If you don't mind me asking what happened? I'm still not sure when or how mine dislocated. So much stuff going through my mind. I just feel like I went a whole month back!! I don't want to whine all the time because I know there are others who have it worse. It's just for me a person who was active and did a lot of stuff am now sidelined. Wishing you the best and a speedy recovery. LD
AnnieK linda81469
Posted
My THR 14 months ago failed in that I have not been able to walk without pain and severe limp since the op. Have a torn gluteus medius and need that surgically repaired. Will have that and exploratory on the hip to see if anything else is wrong on Oct 27.
Complications happen, and sometimes we don't know why. We don't know if my torn GM was because it never healed from suturing after THR or if it tore afterwards for some other reason. If we get an accurate diagnosis of what is wrong, then sometimes (most of the time, we hope!) we can get treatment, surgical or otherwise to repair. Hang in there, Linda! Reach out for all the help you can get.
linda81469 AnnieK
Posted
Oh man Annie! 😞 I hope everything gets better for you! I know complications happen and it sux!! Sometimes makes me wish I didn't do it! I'm hanging in there Annie!! Just sometimes the depression gets the better of me. Let us know how things go for you! Prayers for a solution and speedy recovery!! Hugs, LD