Desperation

Hi Linda D, 😄

It is not surprising that you are depressed - you went through so much with the thr , dislocation and second surgery. And six weeks non-weighting-bearing

followed by so much time at home is bound to wear you down. And with your daughter starting training you will lose an importantvsupport. Then your grandmother ....

really girl! (Big hug).

You've had some excellent advice above. I esp second getting anti-depressants from your physician and looking into facetime or phone calls with your grandmother.

But I think you also need to look into getting out more - maybe short sessions so you don't need all the paraphernalia, but get out! And challenge your friends to a girls night with you - order in pizza (or your favourite) and a good movie. Or see if you can get a regular driver (call a local charity who helps people recovering) to take you out to an activity so that you aren't sitting looking at the four walls or reading too many sad stories about surgical misadventures. You need to start living again and stop worrying about another dislocation - flat out ask your surgeon if you are still at risk.

Re rehab - I doubt there is any way around the tightness with that level of initial LLD. So that'she something you need to come to terms with - maybe it would be better to work out with a group - I saw one at my physio today (1st for hip #2 and she threw me for a loop with very different types of exercises was I ever wiped after).

Linda - you need help now. See your physician before this gets further out of hand ... please.

I am sending you prayers and hugs - you said they weren't ever silly and I think you need them right now.

Linda M

dear linda,  you are having a rough time, sweetheart and there is not much I can tell you that you don't already know - you are doing your best, you are grateful, you don't want to whine etc. and feel like a huge failure - it just sucks, doesn't it ....You also know that this is temporary - the muscles are stiff and will be for some time - you had 2 major surgeries within 3 weeks after all -  Nothing seems to help at the moment - so I am going to say it again: just accept that this is so ... you would if you could and right now you can't - resisting to what is, puts so much stress in your body and mind - let go of all the "should's" - cry all you want -  I also think it is a good idea to get help - it is not unusual to fall into depression after major surgery and there might be medication to help you out - nothing to be ashamed of - do you like your PT?   is there anything she can do about the tightness of muscles ?   okay, I am going to ask something and hope you don't get me wrong :what is your biggest fear ?  you don't have to  share it with us, but write it out for your self - do not censore what you write -  Know that you are loved and that you are recious .. big warm hugrenee

Linda - I am so sorry you are feeling so depressed at the moment, I don't think it is surprising, and many of us (most of us) have days like this, if not weeks. 

If you are still feeling like this next week maybe speak to your dr and see if they can help if you feel you are slipping into a deep depression, and not just a temporary one that comes with the surgery.

I don't think you can take responsbility for your grandchildren at the moment, have you spoken to your daughter? There will be a time in the future when you can whizz around again, but for now you need to look after yourself and heal properly.

I had to look after young children, and it was so difficult I can't lie to you, and mine was a straight forward full hip replacement and not a revision - so you are going to need longer to recover.

The tightness can be helped with a good physio, have you seen one yet? They will also give you confidence to walk and move more, which should help you feel brighter.

Of couse you are feeling scared, I was terrified and I am still ultra careful ten months on.

I know things feel bleak now, but you will come through this. Please tell everyone around you what is happening, so they can support you, we are all here to support you. Your dr needs to know as well where you are with this. You are not alone Linda, okay it will be alright. 

As Renee said to me in my early days, this operation is brutal. It is hard on the body and the mind, and it is quite common to get depressed during the recovery.  I have never ever suffered depression before, I am always "Mr upbeat", always happy, but even I got periods of depression in my recovery.  

Things will get better, you will find that slowly you can do more and more.

Hugs

Graham - 🚀💃

Hey Linda,

I was thinking about all you've been through and the advice and well wishes ur getting, including mine. And all I can think of is a Groucho Marx's line, " I'd never belong to a club that would have me as a member". I think ur doing really well given what you've gone through but the stress is huge. I would get a prescription for xanax or some other anti-anxiety drug for when the going gets rough ( like now)... you won't get addicted.... I promise. You're not 'superwoman' but I 'gotta' say, ur really strong. I know it feels like everything is falling apart and in a way it is. But ur a survivor and ur probably at the bottom so there's nowhere else to go but up. Get help when and where you need it, I personally would get some psychologicl help ( if ur hip hurts fix it... if ur mind hurts, fix it) but don't for a minute forget how far you've come. Walking, biking, hiking, etc are all around the corner.... it's just a really long haul and not quick for real. You're not particularly venting.... you're looking for support from others who've had a similar experience. You've been fighting to get better for a while. .. some here know, some don't. ( I remember cause we started here together) But the one thing here that everyone does know, is that this is a difficult recovery and how hard ur trying. Join some sort of healing group if you can because there are others who know exactly what ur going through right now in real time and you quite obviously can help them too given your strong sense of compassion and empathy. This online group is a real life line, it certainly has been for me too..... but you need to add another one too. Uber, etc are all ways to get somewhere else other than home. Go for it... all my love and prayers ...... wlee