1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Anxiety Disorders

Diagnosed MDD and Anxiety, Afraid to take meds.

Posted , 5 users are following.

michie99
michie99

Hi Everyone.

I decided to join a forum figuring maybe someone out there can say something that will have an effect on my fear of meds. Something I can not do nor my DR. I am 47,I have been dealing with MDD and Anxiety for 21 years. I would say out of all those years I have been on meds for 3-4 yrs total. Have tried atleast 6 or 7 meds over that time. The best I did was prozac 20mg for close to 2 yrs ( 40mg made me take to many risk.) I developed this intestinal illness that the doctors did not think had anything to do with my meds. I was bedridden for 8 weeks lost 30 lbs and decided it had to be the prozac so took myself off it. I did slowly get better that was 4 yrs ago. I take clonazepam for the anxiety but I only take that when I am having a PA because I never wanted to become addicted. Tried a handful of others meds Lexapro Celexa zoloft.. Probably others I cant remember the names of but one side effect or another would make me stop them.

So thats the backround in a nutshell for the most part I live a pretty crappy life. I am a hypochondriac also which is wonderful by itself let alone throwing in MDD and Anxiety. So fast forward to the past few months. I know its time to get on meds. Crying every single day, sadness so deep there is not even a word for it. I can barely drag myself into work. I am so tired all the time. Physically Mentally Emotionally just so fed up.and then every little ache or pain and I think its some blood clot or illness. When I say I am a mess, I mean it And I know it and I know I need something. And yes I have done the talk therapy does no good at all. Anyways my doctor put me back on prozac but day 3 and 4 I swore I was having a heart attack or heart problems. Chest pain rapid heart beat, feeling the blood pumping though my heart. Ughhhh yes I deal with anxiety attacks quite often but 3 in 12 hours, I new it had to be the prozac and I couldnt deal so I went off it. So me and the doctor decide on Bupropion. The bottle sits on my desk. After I googled that drug to death I am to afraid to take it. I know I need something, I think my life isnt worth living.I am afraid to live and to die. I need meds but can bring myself to take them and when I do side effects scare me off. I know this sounds silly but I am amost certain that the depression controls my fear of meds because it doesnt want to be quieted,, it has a life of its own... my life to be exact and it puts the breaks on my attempts to quell it. I know logically chances are pretty slim meds will hurt more then they will help but I cant put that pill in my mouth. 

0 likes, 23 replies

23 Replies

Prev
  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 michie99

    Posted

     some of this is actually very relatable. You dont want the medicine. You have a reason though. N you have used them already and have a reason i cant tell if its a gut feeling going on here (no pun intended).  Is there any other avenue that can helo you with this? Have you considered an integrated approach. Its alternative doctor. Its usually private but they have their own mix of stuff they use. Some if they feel there is just too much of an issue will guide you to traditional meds but many will take a whole different approach. Might be worth looking into it. 

    I used traditiinql meds at first a long time ago. Nightmare withdrawing but dis it and then dabbled here and there. I did go to an integrated medical doctor. Hard to find but they do both worlds. It was private no insurance. Some do take it. They had me see a holitic nutritionist and an holistic therapist too. It was intersting. Holistic therapy is way different then traditional therapy very interactive. I think at the time i felt it was too interactive they start telling you and asking you things whether you are ready to hear it or not. But it was eye opening. I disliked it and truely a decade later rethiught about it and releazed there was a ton of truth to it all. Then i went to biofeedback.for a year that was the best thing i ever did in my life for all this mess. Not alternative it was a center with all different doctors..psychologist, psychiatrist if needed, counsellors qnd this very cool area of machines with counsellors to teach you to really learn how to calm your body. You couldnt mess up because you were hooked to a monitor so you learned to breathe correctly and you learned what worked and didnt for you. One did cbt, wasnt called that then therapy. I didnt use the psychiatrist person.i dont know but it was very helpful. That was for ptsd and anxiety woth oanic attacks, but it all helped a lot.got me thru a few years nicely. Nice people. They have sinced moved to another state but maybe they have a biofeedback center in your area. Mot sure this is a thing anymore. 

    Just a thought that maybe there is an alternative to the traditional medicines.if there isnt im sure they will let you know.

    lastly have you been checked for sleep apnea? That can trigger MDD. Worth asking about. I know that sounds scary but if you have it whether you know or not you have it and that can be a part of the root cause of this mess. You should be tested just a hunch. Google that and read about it.

    • michie99
      michie99 lisalisa67

      Posted

      Hi Lisa,

      Thanks for all your feed back, some food for thought. I will check into some of your suggestions.

      Well I am now getting sch`d for an echo.. I take magnesium, a multi and Vit D. I try to research what helps naturally. It does no good but I still take it. I just wish I could try the meds for just 1 week, just 1 and see. I need a new brain lol.

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.